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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do you believe in love at first sight? Have you experienced it? If so, what was it like? Did you experience feelings or thoughts you never did before? Did it change you? Did you go into a relationship with that person, and how did it end? Or, are you still with that person?
 

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It doesnt work for me. Actually I believe that visual and other sensory impressions can get in the way of accurately gauging what kind of person I am dealing with. For me, its led to both false positives and false negatives and I can only get to know the other person when I tune out of my senses and allow my intuition to work.

Ironically, I do believe in love at first PM. Thats what happened with me and my long distance gf.
 

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No, I don't believe in love at first sight (at least not for me). Sight is something very superficial. I can be attracted to a man, because I like his outward appearance, of course. If I look into his eyes, maybe this glance will reveal something about his character, but seriously falling in love is something different. I'm quick to fall in love, but usually for other reasons than appearance. It could be because of something he said or has done. Or if I get some insight into his mind, if he talks about what he's thinking, what he likes and dislikes. That's extremely attractive, I believe. :)
 

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I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in chemistry, and in certain circumstances, with certain people there is almost an instantaneous instinctual connection. The thing is, it rarely if ever has to do with sight and appearance.

When I first met my boyfriend there was this sense and knowledge that this was something different and special. We both felt it almost immediately. I wouldn't call it love but it's like our souls and our hearts knew more than we did at the time. And it quickly developed into love.

I never used to believe in soulmates (I wanted to, but became disenchanted by reality), and then I met him and it's really made me question it.
 

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I wouldn't call it love at first sight but I'll explain it like this, there are lots of physically attractive women in the world but every once in a while I'll come across someone who's physical beauty combined with tone of voice, facial expressions and body language give me a distinct feeling that we would really get along with each other and have a lot in common. I know when this happens because there are some drop dead gorgeous women out there that don't give me that feeling.
 

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love as a feeling of happiness/sadness/confusion/butterflies/heart dropping i have had, as soon as i saw her it was the most intense feeling and i had to keep looking, my best friend coached me and helped me try to get her, then took interest in her, friend dumped me, made up some lies about me, and took her, dated her for 2 weeks, my mind tells me i dont like her, shes not good for me, but my heart to this day drops just seeing her, when my bestfriend and her started seeing each other and didnt like me anymore i went into the biggest most awful depression for about a year and a half, and i still think about her every now and then, the love i felt for her was 10 times more powerful than my average run of the mill crush, and i crush pretty hard, luckily i dont feel the pain i used to
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
love as a feeling of happiness/sadness/confusion/butterflies/heart dropping i have had, as soon as i saw her it was the most intense feeling and i had to keep looking, my best friend coached me and helped me try to get her, then took interest in her, friend dumped me, made up some lies about me, and took her, dated her for 2 weeks, my mind tells me i dont like her, shes not good for me, but my heart to this day drops just seeing her, when my bestfriend and her started seeing each other and didnt like me anymore i went into the biggest most awful depression for about a year and a half, and i still think about her every now and then, the love i felt for her was 10 times more powerful than my average run of the mill crush, and i crush pretty hard, luckily i dont feel the pain i used to
Oh Blayz, I almost cried. I crush REALLY hard too : / Sounds like you were in love to me; are you still in love with her today? I think that's a good indicator that you are in love with someone, if, long after they are gone, you still love them and feel that you're in love with them...you also feel that you will never fall out of love with them and it will last all your life. I have many of these, actually; it's just become a normal part of me and my life. Hopefully someday we can find a way to express that love. What personality type was she, if you don't mind me asking?

Your EX friend is a rat!!! Hopefully, like me, you have developed a radar for these kinds of ppl and avoid them like the plague :(
I've had the same type of experiences with so-called friends backstabbing me. What personality type was he??
 

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Happened to S/O and me in 2nd grade. No joke. We haven't been together all of those 23 years, but have been together as adults for the past 10.
 
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Oh Blayz, I almost cried. I crush REALLY hard too : / Sounds like you were in love to me; are you still in love with her today? I think that's a good indicator that you are in love with someone, if, long after they are gone, you still love them and feel that you're in love with them...you also feel that you will never fall out of love with them and it will last all your life. I have many of these, actually; it's just become a normal part of me and my life. Hopefully someday we can find a way to express that love. What personality type was she, if you don't mind me asking?

Your EX friend is a rat!!! Hopefully, like me, you have developed a radar for these kinds of ppl and avoid them like the plague :(
I've had the same type of experiences with so-called friends backstabbing me. What personality type was he??
i have feelings for her but not as much, now im looking for a like minded individual, imaginative, adventuress, original, nice, so in my head i know its not a mature/developed type of love but yes.
it also has become part of my life, i think the second love is who i care for the most now because she matched all the given traits i looked for, but i wasnt popular or good looking in highschool and she left all the way to arizona and got engaged, i started being more successful with girls in college but it was too late by then,we used to skype literally all day and send videos, and talk about how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together but she was to beautiful and popular, and i was to scared and i didnt quite loose the baby face by then, the feelings i have for her overlap my love at first sight now, but on the grandscale the love at first sight was the most intense love and most intense pain ive ever endured, for the longest period of time
i think the friend was entj
and the girl was istp
do you have any stories from these experiences, i'd like to feel as if im not the only one crying about it?
 
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
i have feelings for her but not as much, now im looking for a like minded individual, imaginative, adventuress, original, nice, so in my head i know its not a mature/developed type of love but yes.
it also has become part of my life, i think the second love is who i care for the most now because she matched all the given traits i looked for, but i wasnt popular or good looking in highschool and she left all the way to arizona and got engaged, i started being more successful with girls in college but it was too late by then,we used to skype literally all day and send videos, and talk about how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together but she was to beautiful and popular, and i was to scared and i didnt quite loose the baby face by then, the feelings i have for her overlap my love at first sight now, but on the grandscale the love at first sight was the most intense love and most intense pain ive ever endured, for the longest period of time
i think the friend was entj
and the girl was istp
do you have any stories from these experiences, i'd like to feel as if im not the only one crying about it?
Take it from someone who has cared about looks and reputation all their life, your looks, popularity, none of that is important. Understand that your well being is ALL that matters as opposed to the former types of things. Those things will come with health and well being, Blayz. Maybe that's why these things are so important to us ENFPs b/c they are a direct result of us being mentally healthy individuals. The thing about popularity is that you can be the most beautiful person and still not have that many friends and you can be the most popular person but not be the most attractive person to those around you. Just remember that aesthetic beauty comes from well being which comes from many good things like confidence, learning and knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to deal with reality, learning how to deal with whatever you are faced with in your life, acting upon your needs and deep desires; when you are successful at these things, you will feel accomplished and your needs are fulfilled. That's when you truly will be happy and will be who you were meant to be. You will find meaning and purpose. Although and ENFPs purpose is still kinda shady because of the emotional connection to so much lol :) I encourage you to put yourself out there (be brave), do what you know is right and follow your instinct (intuition) and at the same time, see your greater purpose by realizing your dreams; once you do this, your will be able to filter out those dreams that can be a reality for you and make them goals for yourself! As long as you don't let yourself down and respect yourself, even if things don't work out for you the way you envisioned (that's not the real purpose of it all anyway a lot of times-even most of the time i'd say), you can rest assured in the fact that you are trying your best. You see, that's what life is all about. It's not about having what you've envisioned. To be honest and straightforward, it's about the journey. It's about trial and error; it's about being rejected and rejoicing in it because YOU know who you are and even if someone doesn't feel the same way about you, you have accomplished your side of the story- you have done your part and that's the best you can do! So always do your part and make sure at the same time, that you are doing everything you can to fulfill your vision, but if even after that it doesn't work out, it's ok b/c you did your best :) One of the best things you can do for other people is to take care of yourself b/c if you are not healthy then you cannot do anything for them! Trust me, being selfless is as much, if not more about yourself than about others. It's almost as if you have to think about it logically; it's the whole thing about respecting yourself before you can respect others and stuff. ok i'm writing a whole book here, but no really, this is what I had in response to you. You probably already know, that everything is a learning experience-everything. There are treasures out there waiting for you to find them, and there are also bigger and better things; if something isn't working out for you, and you are in pain, make sure you understand it's b/c there are better things waiting for you out there and your life is worth the effort to get to those things. Whatever painful situation you are in at any time, remember these words. Remember, that experience is only going to be what you make of it-so put your positive face on and take it as a learning experience and nothing less/nothing more and let the rest work out for itself; you can only control what is in your power to control-you. You cannot control anything or anyone else, so don't be disappointed if things don't work out for you. Just make sure that you are taking care of you first, and doing the best you can and let everything else fall into place- then you will achieve happiness. Work on everything else through you. Another thing I wanna add, I was looking up therapists in my area, and I didn't realize how many wonderful things there are nowadays to help someone in need. If you have the means, you should check out some of these wellness centers and such, they sound like they could do some pretty amazing things for your soul and there are ALL types. Research it :) I don't think I have room for any examples, but I have given you something even better than those examples, I have given you some of the major things I have learned from these examples ;)
Hope my insight helps you irl, bro. Luv ya :happy:
 

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Love at first sight is infatuation. The times when it ends up working out are just coincidence when the person turns out to have a compatible personality too.

My boyfriend claims he fell in love with me at first sight, but I was also wearing an A Tribe Called Quest shirt and thigh-high socks at the time, so there were visual clues there as to my personality.

Also there have been plenty of times where I idealized someone (both male and female, for platonic or romantic purposes) and thought that we would make great partners/friends, and it turned out that the other person didn't feel the same way or we barely even got to know each other.
 

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I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe to be in love you need to know and understand who they are as a person (how else could you love them?) and have friendship and intimacy. Love is more than appearance.

I do think it's possible to look at someone and see if you could love them. I think appearances can give a lot away. If falling in love is a process, then I suppose looking at someone could be the first step. But I wouldn't say that you're already in love with them, which I'm guessing "love at first sight" assumes. That's pushing it.
 

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I don't believe in it. I believe in attraction at first sight and lust at first sight, but LOVE takes time. Just even the love you have for family and friends, that real kind of love that doesn't die, that's not conditional, it happens over a period of time. But, it can happen over a short period of time, I believe. It was true for me with my Husband. About a few months in, and I've loved him ever since- many yrs later!
 

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From a person who may have a couple of infatuations now and then, yeah, it can happen. I'm not sure if I believe in love at first sight anymore though, it seems like a childish belief, it was a childish belief. I think there is just those strange connections to people though that I get at times, when our eyes first meet, and it just seems like we would get along quite well (probably because of my attraction to them/the intensity of the look/some other factors I can't really explain). There are certain great looking people that I don't have that connection to, I suppose maybe it is intuition as well.. Then again, my first and current relationship has stemmed from "love at first sight".
 

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No, I don't believe in it. I believe love is highest appreciation of the intrinsic value of a person & this cannot be developed with knowing them. I don't believe that love is an emotional reaction it itself (although it can include that), simply the way someone makes you feel emotionally (ie. happy or excited). That is really about YOU, and love is selfless, IMO.

I DO believe you can immediately pick up on a great potential to love someone, a instant recognition of the possibility, and this often leads to a strong infatuation that feels like love. If you get to know the person & a true love really develops, in retrospect it will appear you experienced love at first sight. In other cases, when it does not work out, then people see it for what it is - an instant infatuation based on "vibes" or whatever.
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
If love is in fact something you experience only by knowing someone, then how come you can fall in love with somebody online (i.e. thru msn messenger and maybe emails) and then when you see/meet them in person, you are not attracted or interested anymore, and you don't feel the way you did before? Doesn't being in love and even just love require the beholder to physically see beauty in the person they are beholding?

I think you need both. I have experienced love before, and I experienced attraction first and maybe much of it was through my intuition. These guys had beauty outside and had personalities to match that external beauty. If they did not have the beauty inside, I wouldn't have fallen for them. If they didn't have the beauty outside, I wouldn't have fallen for them. I think it goes both ways.
 
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