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if i could find a healthy INTJ that wasn't drooling over the ENFPs or preferred INFJs or other NTs... it seems most INFP 4w5s in longterm relationships are with INTJs so i imagine that could work---we're different but we can get eachother + they are stabilizing. i could maybe entertain the idea of an ISTJ if they were a bit more unconventional

i definitely get attracted to INFPs, but i can't see it working longterm and it seems like it doesn't last 99% of the time.

extroverts tire me out and while i find INTPs fascinating we just aren't compatible for anything more than casual friendship, i've found ... Fi-Te versus Ti-Fe is just too difficult. Ne bantering is fun though
 

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Hmm in theory and fiction, INTJs (90% and ENTJs %10). If only they came in cuddly forms >.<

I think I felt the most intense love electric vibes only once with an INFJ only to figure out their infamous side, still, something about him, I think more about the enneagram. I don't feel attraction to other INFJs either.

My ex was an ENFJ, it is a rollercoaster of romance and romantic gestures really. Every time we met was like a movie scene, the good and the bad. I never trusted him though or never felt too much in love to freefall until very later, even then I was on my toes and yea biggest manipulator and conman ever, not that the love was not true, even today after years he says he has never felt the same way again and I had had read his journal - during a fight and he was in the same room- so I know his deepest feelings and to be honest they are -deep- and dark and romantic -but- he is impossible to live with and he is a casanova. The extroversion the sx/soc nature is something I can't deal with really but I do believe they are the only type that will make an INFP feel as if they are in dreamland.

Well ! In theory I love INFPs but the other INFPs I have met ( which happened very recently actually ) are just...not so much like me..or my INFP idols

So yep. Cuddly INTJs. I am doomed.
if you don't mind, could you expand a bit upon your enfj-infp story? it's very interesting! i'm dating an enfj and while i'm really in love with him, i definitely am already beginning to see the fi/fe differences. seems to me that fe takes emotions to be more straightforward and obvious whereas fi takes them to be more complex and unspoken--i haven't found enfjs to be nearly as 'deep and dark' as us infps so i would be quite interested to hear about what you mean by that. :)
 

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For friends, I love love ENFPs
But my soulmate is an INTP
Not that thats any good, because he hates me right now, or he pretends so.
But he's still my soulmate and he will be forever.
 
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if you don't mind, could you expand a bit upon your enfj-infp story? it's very interesting! i'm dating an enfj and while i'm really in love with him, i definitely am already beginning to see the fi/fe differences. seems to me that fe takes emotions to be more straightforward and obvious whereas fi takes them to be more complex and unspoken--i haven't found enfjs to be nearly as 'deep and dark' as us infps so i would be quite interested to hear about what you mean by that. :)
it is a long story :D hehe well he was a very unhealthy ENFJ to be begin with and deep and dark part was something that was revealed only after we began to hurt each other, fighte, broken up and made up again, over and over. They do have a part that they don't reveal to people, mine did at least, where all their fears, deepest emotions hide and a lot of conflicts. But yes it is not like INFPs, nor as complex and deep as INTJs, it is something else. Even years later something that makes him tell me stuff like he has never felt the same way again or his journal that says all he wants in this world is to be with me but why can't he behave? He talked a lot about his inner demons, I did observe a lot about his childhood and parental relationships playing a part in his fears and acts, that he is underneath it all torn between the world he envisions, person he wants to be and the person he wants everyone to admire to and the role model, his father who is messed up really. So they are not as plastic as they might seem. On a daily basis though, I do think they are just so plastic, most of the things they say are manufactured, even if it is private matters, they care a lot about others and act like they are always playing on a stage with a look at me look at me attitude, I really can't stand them in public, I feel like I am an accessory even when they talk about me to others or introduce me to others, I totally loathed it and they have a tendency to get carried away and even forget you are there, they are just so into everyone -anyone- it makes me feel much less special, like I can't communicate with him. Well when we were alone together I did feel like the only girl in the world and when we were apart he would text me all day long from sweet morning texts to goodnights and tons of romantic stuff in between -but- I figured out he just has too much energy to make people feel like they are the only people in the world. I mean, to this day still I don't understand how he finds so much time and energy. And I didn't enjoy the constant attention, it was exhausting. Things they say, they say them too easily that it doesn't feel much sincere, in my opinion, so I was blamed of being cold but indeed I prefer the complex and unspoken. On a good day all he talked about was events, friends, food he ate, what he did at the gym, what he plans for weekend, what he plans for his life ( which of course changed every few weeks), how exhausted he is (omg he would get really whiny about this) and occasionally idealist stuff (we didn't agree much but I loved it when he did). So yes when you get past behind the emotional display - and it is an intense one- you can see that they operate pretty much like a machine. Which is funny to say about a Fe-dom but in my opinion it is what it is. I just like that they are kind of like inside out INFPs because they are able to show emotions and gestures that we would like to display so easily but then you figure out it is just spillt on the surface of the water and does not go much deeper. I think their deeper emotions are mostly about themselves, their motivations, self criticism and fears. I am sure though a healthier ENFJ could be a lot loving. I developed a Fe aversion lol so yes my view on fi-fe is not very optimistic but still Fe-doms do make you feel very special. I don't know what type is a match for INFPs really so it is not like I am suggesting anything better :D I don't have a try and see attitude so I don't have much experience either. I am not buying the MBTI match though, I do believe it is more of an extinguishment relationship like socionics says but then again I can't think of a -match- either so...don't take my experience as a basis
 

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if i could find a healthy INTJ that wasn't drooling over the ENFPs or preferred INFJs or other NTs... it seems most INFP 4w5s in longterm relationships are with INTJs so i imagine that could work---we're different but we can get eachother + they are stabilizing. i could maybe entertain the idea of an ISTJ if they were a bit more unconventional

i definitely get attracted to INFPs, but i can't see it working longterm and it seems like it doesn't last 99% of the time.

extroverts tire me out and while i find INTPs fascinating we just aren't compatible for anything more than casual friendship, i've found ... Fi-Te versus Ti-Fe is just too difficult. Ne bantering is fun though
Any opinion on what MBTI would be right for INFP 9w1s?
 

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E: Talkative. I'm sick of prodding the hell out of introverts just to get them to talk. However, I do like my alone time, so it would help if they're ambiverted.

S: To get the housework done. I need somebody rooted in reality because I'm sure as hell not.

F: I need somebody caring who will have sympathy for me. I also can't afford to have somebody smarter than me.

P: xxxJs have made my life a living hell. I need somebody understanding who will let me be myself without judging me.

So, ESFP.
 

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BTW how did you decide you're a 9 and not a 4 or 6? Double check here if you'd like, because that would drastically change potential compatibility:

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misidentifying-4-and-9/

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misidentifying-6-and-9/

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/misidentifying-4-and-6/
Great question; I decided I was a 9w1 based on taking this quiz - Comprehensive Enneagram Quiz , researching the different types and coming to the conclusion that I related most to the 9w1 personality. I also have a 4w5 mother and a 6w7 friend whom have notable differences to me. (Skip to the end for the short version)

Reasons I don't think I am predominantly a Six
Sixes tend to be suspicious of unknown people and situations–they need to test people before they let them get close. Nines may be protected by the disengagement of their attention, but they tend to be trusting of others–almost to a fault.
To me distrust has to earned so when I meet a person, I will be somewhat open and generally trust them. However with a six, trust has to be earned and though they usually will be kind to you, they will keep you at a greater distance at the beginning than I normally would (e.g. when I met my friend, I told her quite a bit about myself to see how well she would respond to me while she was much more reserved when it came to telling me about her).

Nines like to remain easy-going and unflappable. Nines work steadily at their tasks, but show little sign of being upset by the day’s ups and downs. Sixes, on the other hand, cannot easily disguise their feelings. They get more easily worked-up and rattled by mishaps. While Nines can remain silent within their own inner peace.
I am also generally easygoing, it takes quite a bit to make me nervous and even then I wouldn't want to show it.

Reasons I think I am not a four
Nines, on the other hand, are withdrawn in the sense that they remove their attention from people or situations that threaten them, disengaging themselves emotionally so that they will not be anxious or upset.
I admit that I repress a lot of my feelings which I have been trying to do less of but I still have problems with how those emotions feel. To me, anger and sadness make me feel vulnerable and I hate feeling that way because it makes me feel fragile and weak (even though confronting those emotions would make me a stronger person in the end).

Nines see the world through rose-colored glasses, and their view of it is comforting, whereas Fours see the world from a garret window as outsiders and are not comforted: everyone else seems to be living a happier, more normal life.
I also tend to have a 'comfortable' view of life, trying to see the best in everything and everyone, often ignoring the negative even though it is not always wise to do so.

The Short Version - I'm too trusting and easygoing to be a six as well as too repressed and see life too optimistically. My mum and friend also agree that I am a 9.

If you have any questions or disagree with anything I have typed, I'd be happy to discuss with you.
 

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ISTPs all the way!

You guys think you're doomed!? I am turning eighteen and have never been in a relationship longer than two days! I can bet it's because of my preference for ISTPs. I still have daydreams that one of my significant ISTPs will come back into my life and profess their undying love for me. *crying laughter* It's a deadly relationship for an INFP, indeed. I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's like a goal to get an ISTP to fall head over heels for me. I've been perfecting my techniques by torturing myself, learning about cars and makeup and celebrities. The ones I've met don't care for makeup and celebrities, but it turns out that they date girls who do. They like talking about themselves a lot too, as long as I don't ask meaningful questions or ramble. They hate when I ramble.

Besides endlessly chasing after ISTPs, I am sure I would fall in love with an ENFJ if I met one. The idea of the personality seems perfect for me, but I don't think I've ever met one in real life. All of my girl friends are ESFJ twos and ES/NFP sevens. I found out that being seen with them attracts very cute ISTPs into the vicinity. (I also do a lot of car washes to attract them and go to cliff-jumping events too.)

I like other types too. (There was an ISFJ once, and even an INFJ!) I am just very into the shallow, emotionless ISTP types (which I am sure is not every single ISTP, because there seems to be some open-minded ones on here.) I know it seems like I am stereotyping, but I really do love the personality. They have many more pros than cons. I guess I just get a little frustrated, since we are so different from each other. Mostly since I am sensitive.

The one girl ISTP I met was still a little insensitive in a way. She was the kind of person that was quick to point out if I had something on my face, loudly. The way she'd go about it seemed kind of rude, but she wasn't trying to be at all. She was into cars too, strangely enough. She was also very motivating when we worked out together. It wasn't because she said anything, but because she tried really hard and that motivated me enough to do more. Even she stopped being around me.

Don't get me wrong, I want a deep relationship. I prefer romance and steamy intimacy. But I cannot deny the attraction I have for silently cocky ISTPs. Every time I see them, I am instantly infatuated. Daydreams of us traveling the world and him proposing to me, they cloud my mind. I am still very sensitive though, so sometimes it hurts loving them. Most remarks that they make don't bother me, because I know it's just things that they say. But there is still the occasional incident where my ISTP will tell me to stop talking and it makes me want to run away and cry. He will either shush me very harshly or literally say, "Stop talking." I know that he's not trying to be mean, but it still hurts.

He's also not afraid to tell me if I look fat in a dress, even if I didn't ask. Lol.

INFP-ISTP problems.

When I was naive about personalities, I tried to get my first ISTP to open up about his feelings. He broke up with me the next day, (the only ISTP I officially dated) and I made things worse by telling him that he was just running away from his feelings for me. It was all really embarrassing, because even though I am sure he did have feelings for me, I knew that telling him that he did would lessen them. He was very insensitive about it all. When the next ISTP came around, I did a little better maintaining control of my emotions. They're extremely hard to get to date, because I feel like you end up having to do most of the work to get them to ask you out. Even then, they'll still act no different than when you weren't dating. Absolutely no chance of holding hands. (At least I don't have to worry about cheating, because they don't even flirt with me!)

The highlights are that if they think you're hot, they'll make sure you know in some form. ;)

I think I'm pretty good at pointing them out in a crowded school. They're the guys who most girls find attractive. That doesn't necessarily mean they date a lot of girls. They probably don't even talk to many girls. Girls talk to them (and about them). They usually have a lot of guy friends, who they are seen with on instagram dirt biking and/or snow boarding. But they're also very independent: they're the type to PURPOSELY sit at the end of a lunch table. They're not always in organized sports clubs. But they might have their own "unofficial" sports club outside of school with their friends. :) If a bunch of people got together for a public extreme-sport event, I can guarantee you there is at least one ISTP in the crowd.

My fellow INFP internet-friend has told me many times, "Stop chasing after ISTPs!"

I honestly can't help it. If there is a reckless and independent ENFJ that likes to go sky-diving and scuba-diving yet is still very considerate about people's feelings and likes romance just as much as adventure, then maybe I will stop chasing the ISTPs. Until then.
 
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