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If You Are the ESFJ: Dutiful Host
"Love is based on serving others."



You Are Someone Who:

Values harmony in your relationships.
Displays goodwill toward others.
Is a great party organizer.
Is the perfect host.
Is very family-oriented.

If You Are Female, Your Best Matches Are:
ESFJs: Dutiful Hosts
ESTJs: Traditionalists

If You Are Male, Your Best Matches Are:
ESFJs: Dutiful Hosts
ISFJs: Caretakers

If You Want to Win the Heart of Your Ideal Mate, Do the Following:
For ESFJs:
*Help your perfect host plan a party, wedding, or bar mitzvah.
*If you're planning the date, fill them in on the details and make sure you don't deviate from your schedule (unless you give them plenty of notice).
*Talk about everyday topics such as the latest trends in fashion, finances, or entertainment.
*If you invite your ESFJ over, make sure your home is neat, tidy, and aesthetically pleasing.
*Join your ESFJ on social outings to restaurants, nightclubs, comedy clubs, and anywhere else people are enjoying themselves.
For ISFJs:
*Show as much caring, tenderness, and respect as you possibly can.
*Express your gentle, family side: talk about the kid brother you love or the eccentric uncle you adore.
*Woo your ISFJ with good, old-fashioned courtship; giving and receiving flowers and candy, taking long walks along the beach, and cuddling by the fireplace.
*Go slow with them, especially in the area of sex.
For ESTJs:
*Keep the conversation practical and down-to-earth.
*Let your ESTJ decide where to go and what to do on dates; then join him or her for the ride.
*Avoid excessive sentimentality and a "touchy feely" attitude--keep it real and straightforward.
*Express your interest, affection, and loyalty in practical ways such as buying groceries and cooking for your date.
*Spend time with their family and friends and become a part of their inner circle.
 

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The Doer King
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lol, hopefully my friend will come post on this today :)
LOL, yeah I just saw this. The statement above makes sense to me. I think I do need to have things imposed on me a bit. I need to be needed by her quite a bit, which on paper, is sad but it is a very harmonious relationship as long as the gates of communication are wide open. It makes a world of difference. Speaking of difference, I very much value & enjoy the balance she brings. She brings wisdom, for sure. :happy:

SJ
 

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The Doer King
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LOL, yeah I just saw this. The statement above makes sense to me. I think I do need to have things imposed on me a bit. I need to be needed by her quite a bit, which on paper, is sad but it is a very harmonious relationship as long as the gates of communication are wide open. It makes a world of difference. Speaking of difference, I very much value & enjoy the balance she brings. She brings wisdom, for sure. :happy:

SJ
If anyone is wondering, he is dating an INTP :bored:
 

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Skewed idea of reality he said.
 

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I know an ISTJ (male) with an ESFJ (female) and they are miserable....... she wants petted all the time (flowers, romance etc) and he does it to keep her quiet...though he is disgusted by it. She thinks he is cold.
 

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I confirm the OP from experience, ESFJ girls want traditionalists, marriage, long-term relationships and GOD are they boring
 

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I confirm the OP from experience, ESFJ girls want traditionalists, marriage, long-term relationships and GOD are they boring
I'm hoping the ESFJ girl who I like wants an ESTJ traditionalist!

And hey, she may not be an ENFP party animal, but she she's not boring.
 

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SFJ's are not boring, you just have to find the right one. Just because we're doormats doesn't mean we don't have a sense of humor. Don't judge all by one please. :)
 

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I confirm the OP from experience, ESFJ girls want traditionalists, marriage, long-term relationships and GOD are they boring
Lol .. What an awful experience you had then. ;)

SFJ's are not boring, you just have to find the right one. Just because we're doormats doesn't mean we don't have a sense of humor. Don't judge all by one please. :)
*Shudders* Doormat .. At least that mentality can change when we change our perceptions of ourself.

And yes, we have an amazing sense of humour. :laughing:
 

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When I say "doormat," I don't really mean that people can just walk all over me. I don't let just anyone have their way with me, I have boundaries. There are a few things that really tug my heartstrings though, and I'll fall all over that. However, I'm not going to tell you people what those things are. Wouldn't want people taking advantage. >.>
 
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When I say "doormat," I don't really mean that people can just walk all over me. I don't let just anyone have their way with me, I have boundaries. There are a few things that really tug my heartstrings though, and I'll fall all over that. However, I'm not going to tell you people what those things are. Wouldn't want people taking advantage. >.>
I do understand where you are coming from. No, i don't want to know your weak spots, lol. I've been there and done that, doormat is not a quality i find attractive in myself. For me, it is a case of show me some respect or i am gone. :)
 

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ENFP for ESFJ

I feel like the enfp is made for the esfj.
ENFP can act as the sort of champion representative for the ESFJ party.
The enfp knight in esfj court.

If esfj organized a Twister party, the enfp would say "alright, guys, it's Twister time."

Also, they seem to have a natural inclination to balance and help each other:

Where the esfj is much more organized in their thoughts, the enfp's intuition might help pick up certain things that the other didn't see immediately.

With the enfp's sensitivity, they would respect and appreciate the esfj's warm and nurturing qualities, while the latter would respect the enfp's boldness and attention to others.

With enfp's more amorphous sense of perception, it is comforting in times of doubt for them to see a more structured sense of the world, and vice versa.

This pair would make for a very interesting and multi-facetted parenting style as well.

Ultimately, they make a nurturing, expressive, bold, and challenging pair, AS LONG as they maintained a very open and costructive means of communication, a trait that comes naturally to both types.
 

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my sister is intj and her boyfriend is esfj. they are the perfect couple and i think they will be together forever. according to socionics they are the perfect match. i've been taking notice of everyone around me since i found out about socionics and it all seems to be ringing true so far. she was a nutcase before she met him. he has mellowed her so much it's amazing.
 
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ESFJ will never be understood by asking them why they thinking process work like that?......the more INTPs tries to push them into telling, the more hair splitting happens....coz they think we(INTP) to darn stupid to understood their action and behavior.

so is up to INTP geniuses find out why from else where.....seek input elsewhere on how their thinking process works.

it happens to me before....I've meet a hardcore ESFJ girl...at first ware a hell to me....dont know why she's behaving or doing some foolishness over what they should'nt really care about.....ahh WTF...if you(ESFJ) cannot give me the answer....I'll looked some place else.

the darn answer is they are to caring obout others until they cant even notice which and who's you should pay more intention....so fucking self sacrificing they put them selve into miserable situation....gets me pissed off when you see somebody you care about, gets hurt.
 
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