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The ISFP or ESFP..or INFP are the kinds of people whom I have liked. I have not been able to handle J's. Everyone has different interests, but from what I have seen the P's and J's seem to work best together. Not J and J. Ofcourse just my experience..... :happy:
 

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I'm an INTP. i have been dating a n ESFJ for over a year now, and I couldn't be happier. Most of this "I'm being taken for granted" problem comes from a basic misunderstanding. Your significant other does not understand your needs. An ESFJ need attention and complements and to feel needed. As an INTP I need none of those, (or at least not in the massive doses others might.) My girlfriend and I had to set out some rules.
1.) I (an INTP) will try my hardest to tell you what my feelings are.You (an ESFJ) will not harass me about them, because honestly, I don't really understand them and ignore them most of the time.
2.) You will tell me if I am being insensitive to the point of rudeness.
3.) I need my alone time. Just let me be for a couple of days, but do remind me if I forget to eat. I get very preoccupied.
4.) I always care about you, no matter what you may perceive. If that changes I will tell you.
5.) Subtle hints are invisible to me; think bigger.
I have been married to an INTP for over five years, and all of the above is SO applicable to our relationship...
 

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These are recommended matches for ISTJ according to Socionics.

ESFJ +

Attractive relations:
+ INTP - Duality description is under LII-ESE
+ ENTP - Activity Relations
+ ISTP - Semi-duality Relations
+ INFP - Mirage relations
+ ENFP - Benefit relations where ESFJ is benefactor and ENFP is beneficiary
+ ESTP - Benefit relations where ESTP is benefactor and ESFJ is beneficiary

Medium level relations:
+ ISFP - Extinguishment Relations
+ ISFJ - Mirror Relations
+ ENFJ - Kindred Relations
+ ESTJ - Business Relations
+ ESFP - Quasi-identical Relations
+ ESFJ - Identity Relations

Difficult relations:
+ INTJ - Conflict Relations
+ ENTJ - Superego relations
+ INFJ - Supervision-relations where INFJ is supervisor and ESFJ is supervisee
+ ISTJ - Supervision-relations where ESFJ is supervisor and ISTJ is supervisee

These compatibilities are based on correspondence in cognitive functions: you and your romantic partner will find it easier to understand each other if your jungian types have all or at least some of the cognitive functions in common.

Profiles of erotic attitudes.

Jungian type is not the only factor that influences compatibility. Enneagram type and instinctual stackings also hold their sway.
 

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Thank you darling .. It is a nice change to hear something positive .. Well it made me smile anyway.

Lol .. You only need to give me 'the look' and i'll initiate contact, so you don't need to worry about being socially inept, i'm sure you more than make up for it in other areas :wink:
Seee, crack me up!!! I loooovvvveee ESFJ's!!! My guy says stuff like this to me and I litterally laugh and salivate all at the same time - I want to eat him up!!!!
 

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He hasn't, but if you were to ask anyone who knows both of us... We are a couple!! I'm starting to feel like he's taking me for granted and a bit used :unsure:
So tell me Mister INTP, Do you know if this is just a part of your personality?? Do you like being alone?? Cuz I know I have to leave him alone for like a day or two for him to recharge, haha it's so funny how I can tell in his eyes when he needs alone time to be with his music and laptop :laughing:
Well if you do have anything else to say about this I'm all ears!! And I welcome any useful info about INTPs :happy:
I can only speak from my experience. One of my friends is INTP and he is awesome. I'm INFJ so we get each other's need for quiet. I'm wondering if your INTP has exactly what he wants in the relationship. He's not going to be motivated to change things so you're going to have to set some firm boundaries and deal breakers and be strong.

He can't give you what you want if you don't ask for it. You must dig deep, make a list of what you want, don't want and will not tolerate. Then make a list of consequences. You must commit to this it's the only way to get what you want. take a leap of faith that he wants to please you as much as you want to please him. But you have to let go of what he might choose that's where the leap of faith comes in. It's a gamble but you're really unhappy so what you have to gain is sooo worth it.

Please let me know how you are doing
 

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ahh I have a friend who is a INTP who is acting the same way with me. I mean I dont really want to date him but we're close and we do seem like an old married couple. I'm mad at him right now because I am feeling taken for granted and used as well! Like he had a hard time recently and I helped him with it, and then after that he stopped being close to me and so i feel like he's really only interested in being friends if I'm helping him. That must be a ESJ thing. When I am not helping someone and they're being really quiet I feel like they stopped caring about me. I said that once to my ISFP friend and he just told me that he doesn't know what to do with me when I say that and that it was silly for me to think that he stopped caring about me just because he doesn't need me. Sometime introverts are very difficult...
Withdrawing is totally a normal, if not baffling Introvert thing. I do that when I am feeling vulnerable. When I disappear, is when I need people the most but my self-preservation is so strong that I can't resist the pull. So, I go away, it's very confusing for most of my loved ones. My ESFJ takes it personally - he shouldn't, it's instinct and a part of me and I can't always control it. I now recognize that it hurts people so I'm taking steps to inform people when I'm disappearing and they are starting to understand that I love them and I'll be back...

I hope this helps
 

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But at least they don't suffer from emotional breakdown implosions and anxiety freakouts like INFJs do.
Hey are you setting out to piss everybody off??? And don't say retard - it's ugly!!! All personality types have pro's and con's - yours seems to be pompous! Yes, this is an INFJ outburst!

Peace ;)
 

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These are recommended matches for ISTJ according to Socionics.

ESFJ +

Attractive relations:
+ INTP - Duality description is under LII-ESE
+ ENTP - Activity Relations
+ ISTP - Semi-duality Relations
+ INFP - Mirage relations
+ ENFP - Benefit relations where ESFJ is benefactor and ENFP is beneficiary
+ ESTP - Benefit relations where ESTP is benefactor and ESFJ is beneficiary

Medium level relations:
+ ISFP - Extinguishment Relations
+ ISFJ - Mirror Relations
+ ENFJ - Kindred Relations
+ ESTJ - Business Relations
+ ESFP - Quasi-identical Relations
+ ESFJ - Identity Relations

Difficult relations:
+ INTJ - Conflict Relations
+ ENTJ - Superego relations
+ INFJ - Supervision-relations where INFJ is supervisor and ESFJ is supervisee
+ ISTJ - Supervision-relations where ESFJ is supervisor and ISTJ is supervisee

These compatibilities are based on correspondence in cognitive functions: you and your romantic partner will find it easier to understand each other if your jungian types have all or at least some of the cognitive functions in common.

Profiles of erotic attitudes.

Jungian type is not the only factor that influences compatibility. Enneagram type and instinctual stackings also hold their sway.
I know that is what is reported but I hope they are not always right. I'm INFJ and I love ESFJ. It sometimes takes effort for me to word things properly for us to be on the same page but it's worth it. I say exactly how I feel, he finds that harsh. He says how he feels in a round about way and I get confused. But holy crap is he sexy and funny and loving and yummy. I'm in love, I can't help it, it's true. I have never ever felt this way before in my life!!! I know what the songs and poems and movies are about now. He looks in my eyes and I shiver...
 

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SFJ's are not boring, you just have to find the right one. Just because we're doormats doesn't mean we don't have a sense of humor. Don't judge all by one please. :)
You aren't doormats, you are teddybears! All the ESFJ's I have met are awesome. The temper thing, well, no body is perfect. My family are ESTJ and they EXHAUST me. At least ESFJ's have a sense of humor. HUGS to all ESFJ's.
 

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These are recommended matches for ISTJ according to Socionics.

ESFJ +

Attractive relations:
+ INTP - Duality description is under LII-ESE
+ ENTP - Activity Relations
+ ISTP - Semi-duality Relations
+ INFP - Mirage relations
+ ENFP - Benefit relations where ESFJ is benefactor and ENFP is beneficiary
+ ESTP - Benefit relations where ESTP is benefactor and ESFJ is beneficiary

Medium level relations:
+ ISFP - Extinguishment Relations
+ ISFJ - Mirror Relations
+ ENFJ - Kindred Relations
+ ESTJ - Business Relations
+ ESFP - Quasi-identical Relations
+ ESFJ - Identity Relations

Difficult relations:
+ INTJ - Conflict Relations
+ ENTJ - Superego relations
+ INFJ - Supervision-relations where INFJ is supervisor and ESFJ is supervisee
+ ISTJ - Supervision-relations where ESFJ is supervisor and ISTJ is supervisee

These compatibilities are based on correspondence in cognitive functions: you and your romantic partner will find it easier to understand each other if your jungian types have all or at least some of the cognitive functions in common.

Profiles of erotic attitudes.

Jungian type is not the only factor that influences compatibility. Enneagram type and instinctual stackings also hold their sway.
I know that is what is reported but I hope they are not always right. I'm INFJ and I love ESFJ. It sometimes takes effort for me to word things properly for us to be on the same page but it's worth it. I say exactly how I feel, he finds that harsh. He says how he feels in a round about way and I get confused. But holy crap is he sexy and funny and loving and yummy. I'm in love, I can't help it, it's true. I have never ever felt this way before in my life!!! I know what the songs and poems and movies are about now. He looks in my eyes and I shiver...
All the best to you! Hope it works out for you guys. All these type matches are only general and vague trends. I think a lot still depends on the two people in the relationship.
 

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I've always been drawn to the introverted level-headed types with a sense of humor. I never seem to come across ISTPs, but their character is usually appealing to me. Aside from that I constantly am drawn to INTPs.

Also the versatility of pairings in this thread pretty much shows that any two people can find compatibility in each other despite recommended pairings. Usually I would think that S/N differences might cause some disconnect, but I suppose that would require factors of compatibility outside of typology to decide what works and what doesn't.
 

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I'm an INTP. i have been dating a n ESFJ for over a year now, and I couldn't be happier. Most of this "I'm being taken for granted" problem comes from a basic misunderstanding. Your significant other does not understand your needs. An ESFJ need attention and complements and to feel needed. As an INTP I need none of those, (or at least not in the massive doses others might.) My girlfriend and I had to set out some rules.
1.) I (an INTP) will try my hardest to tell you what my feelings are.You (an ESFJ) will not harass me about them, because honestly, I don't really understand them and ignore them most of the time.
2.) You will tell me if I am being insensitive to the point of rudeness.
3.) I need my alone time. Just let me be for a couple of days, but do remind me if I forget to eat. I get very preoccupied.
4.) I always care about you, no matter what you may perceive. If that changes I will tell you.
5.) Subtle hints are invisible to me; think bigger.
Ha, sounds very familiar to me and my INTP boyfriend. I'm very direct to him. Sometimes I can tell if he isn't getting it... subtle hints don't work well. I just tell him to say that he loves me sometimes and to work on being affectionate. He's been improving, but it's taken quite a bit of time -- sometimes he can be very in the moment.

I have yelled at him for being stupid and grouchy. About 15 minutes later he apologizes, but then I do too, because I was also likely grouchy as well.

Alone time... unforunately yes. I like being with others, but sometimes just alone time with computers help us both. He watches things, programs, etc, and I screw around on forums.

This is really spot on what goes on in the ENFP and INTP relationship that can work. We've been living together for 3 years already. :)
 

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I feel like the enfp is made for the esfj.
ENFP can act as the sort of champion representative for the ESFJ party.
The enfp knight in esfj court.

If esfj organized a Twister party, the enfp would say "alright, guys, it's Twister time."

Also, they seem to have a natural inclination to balance and help each other:

Where the esfj is much more organized in their thoughts, the enfp's intuition might help pick up certain things that the other didn't see immediately.

With the enfp's sensitivity, they would respect and appreciate the esfj's warm and nurturing qualities, while the latter would respect the enfp's boldness and attention to others.

With enfp's more amorphous sense of perception, it is comforting in times of doubt for them to see a more structured sense of the world, and vice versa.

This pair would make for a very interesting and multi-facetted parenting style as well.

Ultimately, they make a nurturing, expressive, bold, and challenging pair, AS LONG as they maintained a very open and costructive means of communication, a trait that comes naturally to both types.
I love this. I love this so much. Bwhahahaha... it's a positive thing.

It's pretty true... although, to be honest, I don't see my esfj friend organizing a Twister party anytime soon... too bad.

I think it also has to do if there's a formal relation in place to facilitate the balance and help... or it seems to exaggerate it. Anyways, I think that my intuitiveness has helped him see something in a different way and I felt really listened to from it. He said I was very insightful person and he was too endearing to me... extremely warm personality. Seemed very genuine, however.
 

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I confirm the OP from experience, ESFJ girls want traditionalists, marriage, longterm relationships and GOD are they boring
Why are you in the sfj forums if we're so boring :U. Hope you didn't come here just to be insulting. I'm just curious what made you roam into the 'boring' forum? Sorry not all types perfer to jump through hoops like obedient circus monkies just to entertain people who are generally self entitled, and demand that others be intresting to, sorry I'm not HBO or Cartoon Network. I've come across infjs and that type isn't the most 'excting' either.
 

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These are recommended matches for ISTJ according to Socionics.

ESFJ +

Attractive relations:
+ INTP - Duality description is under LII-ESE
+ ENTP - Activity Relations
+ ISTP - Semi-duality Relations
+ INFP - Mirage relations
+ ENFP - Benefit relations where ESFJ is benefactor and ENFP is beneficiary
+ ESTP - Benefit relations where ESTP is benefactor and ESFJ is beneficiary

Medium level relations:
+ ISFP - Extinguishment Relations
+ ISFJ - Mirror Relations
+ ENFJ - Kindred Relations
+ ESTJ - Business Relations
+ ESFP - Quasi-identical Relations
+ ESFJ - Identity Relations

Difficult relations:
+ INTJ - Conflict Relations
+ ENTJ - Superego relations
+ INFJ - Supervision-relations where INFJ is supervisor and ESFJ is supervisee
+ ISTJ - Supervision-relations where ESFJ is supervisor and ISTJ is supervisee

These compatibilities are based on correspondence in cognitive functions: you and your romantic partner will find it easier to understand each other if your jungian types have all or at least some of the cognitive functions in common.

Profiles of erotic attitudes.

Jungian type is not the only factor that influences compatibility. Enneagram type and instinctual stackings also hold their sway.
There is also an LII-ESE facebook socionics duality group (types ESFJ and INTP) for anyone interested in discussing relationships in this type of pairing.
 
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