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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Is it just me who finds making decisions pretty hard?

- I know INFJ's are considerate with other people, especially their feelings XD

But i was wondering..

How do INFJ's decide?? :D

I actually finalize my decision
(when it's complicated) ONLY after asking advice's to my most trusted people ;)
Though most of the time I came running to my NTP friends. .lol. :laughing:
 

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It depends. When it comes to 'I got a choice' decision, 9/10 of the times it'll be what I feel about the situation. It takes me a split of a second to decide like that. Usually my Yes/No are final when deciding like this. The other 1/10 will happen if people are REALLY expecting me to decide a certain option, and then my feelings and commitment or whatever you want to call it will battle till dawn.

If it's an important decision, I'll use my logic and ability to foresee future events and how they could develop in my favour or worst. In example; I didn't really want to study through academic institution since I'm very capable of self-instruction and I dislike frameworks in general. Since it's an important thing in our society today, after careful considerations I made my choice and went for it, although my feelings weren't synced with that decision.
 

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Depends on the decision honestly.


For silly decisions where I'm undecided I let fate take over and flip a coin if it's a this or that decision. Example (Do I go to McDonalds or Taco Bell. etc).
 

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The decision making isn't the hard part for me, because I'm fairly autonomous. It's what happens after: I analyze it to death and needlessly think about how things would have turned out if I'd made the other choice(s).
 

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I tend to be on the fence with things but eventually if it's a decision for a long-term thing then I'll take my time deciding. If it is needed right away, I just decide the first thing that comes to mind that fits what I feel.
 

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The only person I'll ask advice from is my husband and that's if I'm struggling to come to a decision or if I need confirmation that my decision is the best one. He's usually always involved in my decision making process especially if it involves him.

It really depends what the decision is though. If it's a complicated one I'll just think it through thoroughly until I've explored all the options in my mind before settling on the ideal one (or the one that I think is ideal).
 

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Making a decision is actually one of my strongest suits. I love making decisions. Small ones and big ones. The most important factor to me is that I see a "path" stemming from a decision. It takes me little time to come to that place, mentally, most of the time. There are some things I can mull over for a long time before I get my "It's a BINGO" moment. I prefer to not have to care about other peoples feelings in that process, because making my decisions with empathy involved in the process has not served me well at all in the past. It has, in fact, been the source of a very long and very dark nightmare.

I'm getting better at that. I'm getting better with conflict and shielding myself from others emotions. Remaining level headed. Getting better at asserting myself without having to "go cold" and selfish. I still feel, but I manage better now to not feel what they feel, and don't feel a need to make them happy, at the cost of myself... as much. Work in progress.

Making someone happy, I find, is not always in that persons best interest, either.
 

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@Vivid Melody and other married INFJ's ... do you think that it's a common thing amongst INFJ women to defer to their husbands in the decision-making process holding the socialization, cultural differences constant? I've noticed one thing about my mother and that is that she always defers to my fathers decisions even if she has very strong premonitions that my father might be making a wrong decision.

I wonder if it might be the same for other married INFJ's ...
 

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To answer the question & @Jaws:

In order to come up with a good decision, I will first ponder for long periods of time when I am facing a situation in which I am indecisive.
Once I have finally leaned towards one idea, and am still unsure, I will go to the only person I really have around me (my husband) in which I get his Logical view (his INTJ reasoning) After that, depending on his reasoning for the answer I will then decide rather he is right or wrong, thus giving my my final choice. lol So sometimes, it's not his final word that seals the deal. It's his thoughts & argument to my idea that allows me to look at it the way I do & finalize my decision.
 
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I think i usually just end up doing what "feels right", but there is kind of a process to it. I will have a feeling about a decision, but i will think it over and talk it over with a few people. This usually intensifies the feeling, sometimes makes things more confusing if someone i trust has different thoughts about it than me. But I think this talking process kind of helps me come up with the reasons for why i have a certain feeling, which makes me more confident about my decision in the end.
 

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I think i usually just end up doing what "feels right", but there is kind of a process to it. I will have a feeling about a decision, but i will think it over and talk it over with a few people. This usually intensifies the feeling, sometimes makes things more confusing if someone i trust has different thoughts about it than me. But I think this talking process kind of helps me come up with the reasons for why i have a certain feeling, which makes me more confident about my decision in the end.
I do the same thing!
 

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I usually find decision-making easy unless I have reason to believe people I'm close to will disapprove or if my actions will affect other people. I try to consider other people at least as much as myself (often more). But choices that don't weigh me down (like the ones I just mentioned) I can make swiftly and completely dedicate myself to them.
 

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@Vivid Melody and other married INFJ's ... do you think that it's a common thing amongst INFJ women to defer to their husbands in the decision-making process holding the socialization, cultural differences constant? I've noticed one thing about my mother and that is that she always defers to my fathers decisions even if she has very strong premonitions that my father might be making a wrong decision.

I wonder if it might be the same for other married INFJ's ...
Hmm I'm not sure how common it is for other INFJ's but the reason why I sometimes look to my husband for advice/opinions/help is because I highly respect his opinion and more often than not, he will give me an opinion that's really insightful or it will be the exact same as mine. Sometimes it is also hard for me to hear and accept but I know it to be true. Now if I felt very strongly about a certain something (like your mom with her premonitions) and my husband disagreed with me, I would push my point, and try to get him to see what I'm saying. Don't usually have that problem though. He's very good and understanding things and I know he always considers my input when making decisions. We are equals but I personally consider him the leader and he knows that. I really wouldn't have it any other way but everyone is different. Not every women is as submissive I suppose. I see it as a good thing though, not a bad thing. I want to honor my husband. That's all.
 

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Hmm I'm not sure how common it is for other INFJ's but the reason why I sometimes look to my husband for advice/opinions/help is because I highly respect his opinion and more often than not, he will give me an opinion that's really insightful or it will be the exact same as mine. Sometimes it is also hard for me to hear and accept but I know it to be true. Now if I felt very strongly about a certain something (like your mom with her premonitions) and my husband disagreed with me, I would push my point, and try to get him to see what I'm saying. Don't usually have that problem though. He's very good and understanding things and I know he always considers my input when making decisions. We are equals but I personally consider him the leader and he knows that. I really wouldn't have it any other way but everyone is different. Not every women is as submissive I suppose. I see it as a good thing though, not a bad thing. I want to honor my husband. That's all.
Wow, where do I find another one of you? lol... I mean I agree a "joint" marriage should have "joint" leadership and be equals (at least that's what I would desire in my marriage). :) However once in awhile like a dance someone must lead the way a little. And lead can always just go back and forth.
 
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Wow, where do I find another one of you? lol... I mean I agree a "joint" marriage should have "joint" leadership and be equals (at least that's what I would desire in my marriage). :) However once in awhile like a dance someone must lead the way a little. And lead can always just go back and forth.
Hold on, I'll go clone myself :p

That's a very good way of putting it :)
 

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Hold on, I'll go clone myself :p

That's a very good way of putting it :)
*patiently waits* * twiddles thumbs a little* *oh look a puzzle, I will do that while I wait* lol....
 
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