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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I'm a female ISTP and I have a male ENFP friend who thinks we're exactly alike which is quite the opposite. We come at the same conclusions sometimes, and which somehow has convinced him that who I am internally is him.which is not true at all. I mean he is the most emotional person I've ever met, and I'm not really all that emotional. And, I've tried to correct him about me, but he just is convinced he is right, and that I 'hide my true self' which is a sense I do, but i'm not the way he says. It's just starting to really annoy me.
So, I was just wondering if all ENFPs are like this? And do you guys think you're a lot alike to ISTPs?
 

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I know that I love to find similarities in people I really care about....its not about being self obsessed or anything, its almost something I do out of affection for someone, it helps me feel closer to them (either friends/lovers etc).

Im really sorry that this bothers you, I can maybe kind of see why. Are you overly comfortable with who are you? I would imagine so, or at least on the way by having typed yourself already.

Unless the person in question goes on about it alot, is it possible to allow the person to think of you in a certain way, out of their affection for you or perhaps it might help to point on the MBTI to them, if they are not already aware and they can see the difference written out for themselves.....or maybe write it down - being ENFP i say what i mean and get things across better when I write....maybe this might help too...

Ps. it just about to rain and is very dark, I love that, its like something momentous is about to happen and im witnessing it.....lol.....just thought I would share that! :tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yes, and well, like you said, he brings it up a lot. like the other day he called me cocky, which I just thought was weird because in reality, I'm veryy shy,but he is convinced that I am (because he is).
but thank you, maybe he is just trying to find similarities to be nice.I don't know, the cockiness just got to me, because I really do like him, and I guess I'm just kinda bummed that that's how he sees me.
 

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I didn 't realise they were bad things....Are they bad things most of the time? I once called a flame of mine arrogant....i think I was feeling fairly assertive at that particular time and I think I was a little bit annoyed with him at the time to over something he said and concluded that he was arrogant and called him such, not in a verbal attack kind of way, more like an assumption, 'ur arrogant'...he 'no im not'....me 'yer u are'...then that was it! i dont think he was/is, just felt a little put out by something he said and came up with that generalisation...didn't mean i didn't/don't like him though, I was just upset by what he said, it didn't sit right with me, didn't quite enrage me, just to the point, I had to point out my thoughts on him :laughing:

Sorry im not sure how that helps...but there we have it :tongue:
Piex
 

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He's right. ENFPs can see into us. Figure out what makes us tick. Our strengths. What we need. What we hide. Our insecurities.

He annoys you because you just haven't put it together yet. He sees many connections very quickly. We make connections over time based on past experiences.

But the good part is, you can do the same. Just pay attention :)

It makes you feel vulnerable doesn't it?

If he's someone you can trust, a friend, you will find his vulnerabilities as well.

And then you will just feel safe.
 

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I was referring to ISTPlady's ENFP friend. She doesn't like the fact that he knows he's right, and she hasn't figured it out yet :)


My ENFP friend and I often come to the same conclusions. Sometimes I have difficulty verbalizing my thoughts on the spot, but she already knows what I'm going to say.

It's actually pretty freaky to feel this connected to another person. As ISTPs we like to understand how things work. And I just don't get it. But I like it.
 

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I was referring to ISTPlady's ENFP friend. She doesn't like the fact that he knows he's right, and she hasn't figured it out yet :)
Oh shit
...i knew that :blushed:

I must admit im not that attuned to ppl to know what they are going to say, unless its a with one particular person now and again.....but mostly, I more know their 'feelings' and am not generally surprised by things they may say relating to their feelings....unless of course, im choose to ignore them :tongue:
 

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So, I'm a female ISTP and I have a male ENFP friend who thinks we're exactly alike which is quite the opposite. We come at the same conclusions sometimes, and which somehow has convinced him that who I am internally is him.which is not true at all. I mean he is the most emotional person I've ever met, and I'm not really all that emotional. And, I've tried to correct him about me, but he just is convinced he is right, and that I 'hide my true self' which is a sense I do, but i'm not the way he says. It's just starting to really annoy me.
So, I was just wondering if all ENFPs are like this? And do you guys think you're a lot alike to ISTPs?
I've dated a female ISTP for a year (we broke up awhile ago, to clarify), so I'll give my input:

Outwardly, to me at least, you guys seem to have the same level of energy when in groups. However, what your ENFP male friend probably does not realize is that you guys (girls :p) need a lot of downtime. Whereas us ENFPs are like that almost 24/7 around people, it's only on a few occurrences a week that you ISTP folk are energetic and excitable.

As for the "convinced he's correct" bullshit, it sounds like he just hasn't matured yet. I doubt myself continuously, even about my closest friends. I usually realize when something's probably anecdotal as opposed to a general trend.
 

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ISTPlady,

ENFPs like to state our observations of similarities, in our enthusiastic desire for connection. We also can see connections that work, even with the differences. If we're immature, it may not dawn on us that you don't feel the same or see things the way we do. It just makes sense to us so we share it!

Your friend may be right about you or wrong. ISTPs often move about in a self-possesed way that reads as confident. He may just be in awe of you. His idealistic thinking will usually mean he sees things in a golden glow of perfection for quite awhile. If he knows he's an ENFP he may feel more comfortable acting like one.

As to whether we think we're like you, I see clearly that we are not, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying some of the same sensory experiences and great debates and good books and other things you enjoy. We both hate to see people get ripped off, both hate abuse, both might love coffee or sushi. But we are very different in how we perceive the future and the now.

And ENFPs can be intense; I've experienced this intensity with an ISTP and couldn't understand how it happened. It was a friendship and I look back and wonder "What was that?" :')
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thank you guys, I started to really think about everything he says about me, and honestly, a lot of it is true.
as for WMDistraction, may I ask how your experience was with dating female ISTPs?
 

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Thank you guys, I started to really think about everything he says about me, and honestly, a lot of it is true.
as for WMDistraction, may I ask how your experience was with dating female ISTPs?
For the first few months, when we both were home, it was absolutely amazing. We got along very well, and I was able to discuss a large variety of topics with her, ranging from religion to science to where we should eat. :)

As we went on to college, of course, things started going downhill; I was in NE Ohio and she was in ME Michigan. We both had problems with the other, but we chalked it up to college stress and didn't say anything. As summer rolled around, the same problems persisted, and the relationship just kind of blew up. We were good friends before this relationship, and now we barely talk to each other. :p
 
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