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Hi all. I would love for INFP and EVERYONE ELSE'S! other opinions, including experiences and/or observations with feelings associated or thoughts associated...

When I meet a pretty girl I'd consider really great by measure of warmth/comfort I get being with her, openness between us, humor and intellect and what else (??).. I tend to obsess about our imaginary relationship in the world where the things I do make her feel good and like me back. In a specific case that makes me write here today is even badly enough with a girl who has a boyfriend.

I am very attracted to great personable interactions filled with honesty and warmth and love. It sounds cliché and maybe my words are too vague too explain well this feeling/experience, but I love having a girl who seems greatly happy to talk to me. (So this girl happens to be one of 'em)
One thing that really gets me going is a girl's appreciation in shit I like as I always try to appeal to a person's interest and find great happiness in doing so. :tongue::cool::wink:

I also find myself too easily giving such feelings away to people. Usually I realize I'm being too impractical, but with this girl I'm doing what I'd jokingly call level 3 obsessing... as in it definitely impacts my day to know I'm on her mind because she texts me. .....


<3 y'all!

Jake


PS Incase ya need:

Mostly I'm wondering how INFP males and others have noticed INFP males interacting with females. I'm also a great warm guy for many girls who consider me trustworthy and compassionate. I appreciate that about my character as I hope all would remind themselves to!
 

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I tend to obsess about our imaginary relationship in the world where the things I do make her feel good and like me back.
I also find myself too easily giving such feelings away to people.
I do both of these. Mostly on first impression I give the vibe that I am a great and stable friend to have around, although this isn't the best way to be noticed towards an individual I like, I find. I usually have to be more assertive and less visibly interested for a girl to be as equally interested as I am with her. I think giving attention away too easily makes them bored.
 

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Ha... I'm a bit loopier with girls. I feel more like me if that makes sense. I can talk more like me and be more random as well round them.

In terms of crushes... usually the quiet, nice ones get me, with either a lovely smile, beautiful eyes or lovely hair. Body feeds into brief physical attraction, but when it comes to love or the more serious infatuation then it really doesn't matter because that's more than just hormones.

But I'm very romantic at heart and I spend ages fantasizing about relationships, how they'd start, afternoons spend with her staring at the sky and just being companiably silent... I imagine breakups too because I don't want to be unprepared.

And I talk about this to other people and the depth of my feelings suprises both of us and sounds a bit creepy but nonetheless cute.

And then they usually say either 'teenagers can't fall in love' or 'so why haven't you done anything about it?'. To the first I say Bah. To the second: I would rather a friend I can be around than a failed attempt at love I can't without incredible akwardness. I fall in love with people I like being around, and usually I like them so much that I don't want to risk that with some stupid and slightly arrogant and weird attempt at love.
 

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I'm weird. I will often act cofident yet reserved, kind, intelligent and funny while other times I will not give a girl the time of day. It really depends on my first judgements on the person. While I know this is bad, supermodels don't want my attention and I prefer weird and awkward girls, so I suppose it's not all that bad in the end. Additionally, I never know what to say to stereotypical cut/copy conventional girls so there's no point in trying. I've learned that relating to girls is easier when you know your type. I reciprocate kindness, but disregard most people.

To justify this, I do the same thing with my male peers.
 

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I'm a smooth Mofo. I approach them without making it seem like I am approaching them, much like a hunter stalking a deer. Then, when I am in their close vicinity, I remain aloof, fumbling around awkwardly until I figure out a way to start a conversation with them. Once I have made my introduction, I proceed to dazzle them with my conversational skills. My main approach is to ask them about themselves, because I read in a book that people like that. I then proceed to send them mixed messages. On the one hand I may subtly flirt with them, but on the other, I will keep my distance so as not to annoy them or make it obvious that I like them. Surprisingly, this approach has been largely unsuccessful...
 

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I have an INFP friend who is a male and somewhat unsuccessful in finding a ladyfriend. He has had girlfriends before, but he is now single. He attributes this to having standards that are too high. He is a afraid he will never find anyone who meets the standards he has. This is just what he says.. however, my personal opinion is he has standards but they aren't impossible ones. He always seems to have a crush on someone. Many times, she is already taken, though.

Regarding my friend, though, I have a question for you guys. He had this girlfriend a couple years ago who had some intimacy issues. They dated for a year, maybe two. I remember talking to my friend who wanted some relationship advice from me. He told me that this girl would not let him kiss her. They had been dating a year and had only kissed one time. She didn't even want him to hold her hand. These people were in their early 20's. He wanted very badly to kiss her and made this known to her. He waited patiently for her to agree to kiss. It never happened. Then they broke up. Would you ever be able to date someone who did not want to kiss you?

I know INFP guys are empathetic and probably want the person they love to be happy and cared for. But would you put your own needs aside like this? This just struck me as very odd and I didn't think many men would ever agree to such a relationship. Judging by my friend here, INFP boyfriends must be very loyal, tolerant and patient people.
 

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He told me that this girl would not let him kiss her. They had been dating a year and had only kissed one time. She didn't even want him to hold her hand. These people were in their early 20's. He wanted very badly to kiss her and made this known to her. He waited patiently for her to agree to kiss. It never happened. Then they broke up. Would you ever be able to date someone who did not want to kiss you?
I can't imagine being with someone for two years and not being intimate in someway with them. That's just beyond. How would I even know that I am dating them exclusively? Why would that person let others touch her and not me? I just don't believe that the person in question doesn't like being touched at all. I would think that they are not attracted to me and that just wouldn't work well in a relationship.

I know INFP guys are empathetic and probably want the person they love to be happy and cared for. But would you put your own needs aside like this? This just struck me as very odd and I didn't think many men would ever agree to such a relationship. Judging by my friend here, INFP boyfriends must be very loyal, tolerant and patient people.
I would put my own needs aside if I got confirmation from the other person that they felt similarly. I could see myself doing this if it was something else, for instance if she had problems talking/opening up and I cared enough I would be patient and right there with them. I would also be totally their for them in a crisis mode. But what you are describing sounds to me like the significant other in question gave nothing back, didn't give him anything to work on by way of affection and just used him. I just couldn't do that. I need some response or stimulus that shows me that the person cares for me in someway. No kissing, no touching, no hand holding, no signs of affection or love? I can't imagine bending myself over backwards for someone who gave me no response that they cared about me in some way as a lover.
 

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I have an INFP friend who is a male and somewhat unsuccessful in finding a ladyfriend. He has had girlfriends before, but he is now single. He attributes this to having standards that are too high. He is a afraid he will never find anyone who meets the standards he has. This is just what he says.. however, my personal opinion is he has standards but they aren't impossible ones. He always seems to have a crush on someone. Many times, she is already taken, though.

Regarding my friend, though, I have a question for you guys. He had this girlfriend a couple years ago who had some intimacy issues. They dated for a year, maybe two. I remember talking to my friend who wanted some relationship advice from me. He told me that this girl would not let him kiss her. They had been dating a year and had only kissed one time. She didn't even want him to hold her hand. These people were in their early 20's. He wanted very badly to kiss her and made this known to her. He waited patiently for her to agree to kiss. It never happened. Then they broke up. Would you ever be able to date someone who did not want to kiss you?

I know INFP guys are empathetic and probably want the person they love to be happy and cared for. But would you put your own needs aside like this? This just struck me as very odd and I didn't think many men would ever agree to such a relationship. Judging by my friend here, INFP boyfriends must be very loyal, tolerant and patient people.
I think I would do exactly what your friend did. I would be very patient and try and help her overcome her issues. But unfortunately, eventually my own needs would become too strong and I wouldn't be able to continue the relationship. I have been in a similar situation before and the relationship lasted four years. To be honest, I am wary about doing it again, both for my own sake and the other person's.
 

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Ha... I'm a bit loopier with girls. I feel more like me if that makes sense. I can talk more like me and be more random as well round them.

In terms of crushes... usually the quiet, nice ones get me, with either a lovely smile, beautiful eyes or lovely hair. Body feeds into brief physical attraction, but when it comes to love or the more serious infatuation then it really doesn't matter because that's more than just hormones.

But I'm very romantic at heart and I spend ages fantasizing about relationships, how they'd start, afternoons spend with her staring at the sky and just being companiably silent... I imagine breakups too because I don't want to be unprepared.

And I talk about this to other people and the depth of my feelings suprises both of us and sounds a bit creepy but nonetheless cute.

And then they usually say either 'teenagers can't fall in love' or 'so why haven't you done anything about it?'. To the first I say Bah. To the second: I would rather a friend I can be around than a failed attempt at love I can't without incredible akwardness. I fall in love with people I like being around, and usually I like them so much that I don't want to risk that with some stupid and slightly arrogant and weird attempt at love.
This is me exactly. It's like we're connected. INFP bros.
 

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I can't imagine being with someone for two years and not being intimate in someway with them. That's just beyond. How would I even know that I am dating them exclusively? Why would that person let others touch her and not me? I just don't believe that the person in question doesn't like being touched at all. I would think that they are not attracted to me and that just wouldn't work well in a relationship.



I would put my own needs aside if I got confirmation from the other person that they felt similarly. I could see myself doing this if it was something else, for instance if she had problems talking/opening up and I cared enough I would be patient and right there with them. I would also be totally their for them in a crisis mode. But what you are describing sounds to me like the significant other in question gave nothing back, didn't give him anything to work on by way of affection and just used him. I just couldn't do that. I need some response or stimulus that shows me that the person cares for me in someway. No kissing, no touching, no hand holding, no signs of affection or love? I can't imagine bending myself over backwards for someone who gave me no response that they cared about me in some way as a lover.

She definitely was not seeing anyone else. She had big intimacy issues, that was the gist of it. He would try to get her to open up to him and she had a hard time talking about her feelings. I don't know why, I didn't ask. She was a strange girl, I met her a couple times. She wrote fan fiction as a hobby. I remember my INFP friend telling me when he read her fan fiction that he would actually get jealous of the characters in her stories because they would be having romances with each other, that she described very well, but then in reality, she wanted nothing to do with it. It made her uncomfortable. He amazingly tolerated this. She was the one who broke up with him because she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship with anybody. He was heartbroken for a very long time.

He must have gotten something from her that made him care about her so much. They seemed to get along great and have a lot of the same interests and sense of humor. It was just the intimacy thing that wasn't working.

Honestly, I don't think i could have a boyfriend who didn't want to kiss me. I am in total awe of my friend's willpower with this relationship. It's a noble feat to a certain extent. But at the same time, I felt very sorry for him. I wanted him to stand up for himself somehow. But he didn't want to make her feel violated or turned off. So he just waited.... in vain.
 
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