[Ehre]

Alright, I've been around and posting a fair amount, and honestly I have found something with which to take issue in these forums. So many threads are about how INFP males feel inadequate as a male. It's getting sickening. -Seriously search INFP male and see how many are about unfair male standards- The first time I see it, alright I can dig that. I'm catchin the vibe. Then I see 4 or 5 more. Every time I see the same sort of comments on these threads: "It's ok" and "You'll find a girl who likes you for you" and "Just be yourself"

I'm here to tell you stop being a cry baby about it. Life can't always be perfect. Roll with the punches and you'll be better for it. I can ask a girl out and she could say no, who cares? I'll still be alive tomorrow. We don't fall short on some manliness standard. I can spend my time musing on things like poetry and art, and I am no less a man than the one who picks up his weights at the gym. I am an INFP and I am no less a man than any other type, and I'll be damned if another INFP male blames his typology for not meeting up to some standard that just puts our type at a disadvantage.

An INFP is just as capable of being a man as any maple is capable of being a tree. So what if the maple doesn't have as strong of wood as the oak or pine? It makes sweet syrup doesn't it?

Now get your faces out of the mud, stop dragging your feet, and be happy you are what you are because we are capable of being awesome people. You just have to try.

 

[Vaka]

*high five*

Here are my thoughts:
Everyone's not looking for the same thing in a romantic partner, and you can't possibly please everyone. Everyone's different. Therefore it's irrational to think there's something wrong with you if someone's not interested. That also means that it's, to put it bluntly, stupid to try and fit different standards and stereotypes. I've observed that some people tend to imagine that the world or life are against them somehow. If you think fitting a certain stereotype is gonna please women in general, then you're not really seeing what's below the surface.
I know some people give the advice to just 'be yourself', but that concept is confusing to me for different reasons. Just don't overwhelm yourself with thinking you're flawed or that you must conform to some stereotype or image beyond your desiring just to get the attention of potential romantic interests.

 

[Rogue Eagle]

girls aren't even worth the trouble anyway.

INFP is just a label, you can still be competitive and play to win

 

[scarygirl]

People need to get over genders. I'm with an INFP and believe me, I wouldn't love him no other way. I don't think he's less of a man than anyone, he's lovely, simply! Because I don't care what he is

Ah, this was just...to show a sign of love for male INFPs. If world had more of us...both females and males...

 

[hood]

Thank you Ehre. I noticed the same thing and after being on personalitycafe for a little while now I've seen the pattern. The more we (dudes) try and fit ourselves into a label the more unhappy we'll be. If you don't fit the social label, create your own, be original, be yourself. The last saying is cliche drenched, but it's just true and timeless advice that always seems to get you the best outcome no matter what the situation.

 

[refugee]

just increase your individuality to the point where the right type of person will be attracted to you. stand out!

 

[Darkestblue]

Just be yourself, people. Why even bother trying to live up to a stereotype? If you do, then you're just like everyone else doing it. What makes you any more special than them? Don't you want people to like you for who you are? Think about the people already in your life who like/love you for who you are. Doesn't it feel good? Trust me, it's not going to feel good when people like you for who you're not.

 

[rebornintheglory]

Buy a motorbike and people will respect you.

 

[Jompson]

I LOVE marching to the beat of my own drum.

I would hate myself and my friends would hate me if I was the stereotypical spiked hair, collar popping, MTV watching, fake tan, only dates blonde anorexic women, muscle head asshole who the media says I should be. *No offense to anyone who fits any of these characteristics.

As for being manly, I'm about to go eat some raw meat and make a fire with a couple of sticks!

 

[Akaharu]

I have been thinking this for a long long time. I love to play the emotion and think there's something wrong with me often. I know this is not the case. It's very very easy to let our thoughts rule us instead of actually trying... over and over until we find someone we can share our lives. with. We do have high standards and I don't think its wrong to keep this ideal. We are specific, but until we actually go out there and deal with the heartache that everyone else goes through to find someone, then we won't find the one we want until we try over and over again. Some find on the first try and others it takes years and years. I'm writing this for myself as much as anyone. I have bee introducing myself to many people over the last two years and tried and failed to connect to women I've met. I have become discouraged at times and very heartbroken, but I did decide to not give up no matter how much it hurts to try. A friend of mine said I don't always need to experience the pain to try to connect and she's right as I've noticed the more I try and the more I am rejected it hurts less and less each time. I have a feeling we won't lose who we are if we keep trying. It may seem we may change into someone we don't like if our hearts become callous to trying so much, but in the end we will still be ourselves when we find someone who actually likes us. I've been trying at least 17 years to connect to someone and I've not given up yet and I'm not changing myself for any woman to fit what she finds attractive because I will switch back to who I am sooner or later and that would not be so great for longevity. No one is on my horizon that I can see, but as I have an open hear to keep trying, that can change in an instant.

 

[PanolX]

mostly its about not thinking bad about the self. People just want to test our limits, especially if they call you a fake or a false one. when we begin to be original and ourselves, people for some odd reason start wanting to be like us or want to stop us from being who we are.

 

[Slider]

I agree.

I muse about poetry and art AND pick up weights, but there are some standards even I fail at: height, hair, etc. You should like yourself for who you are and stop trying to be somebody you're not.

Nobody is perfect. Life isn't perfect. It's okay to be different. Bask in your uniqueness.

 

[alpha]

I'd really like to know if there's any research about the correlation between transsexuality and MBTI type. I found nothing with Google. But personally I'm under the impression large number of MtoFs could be INFPs. Gender can be changed, after all, personality not. It might seem the path of least resistance to some.

And I highly doubt we ever reach a state of society where this phenomenon would be completely eliminated. It'd require all people to be bisexual to some level...

 

[Isildin]

On a side note, the tags for this thread might not be the most fortunate, since it kind of alludes to a sausage fest.

Although i guess we could form some kind of INFP-only fight-club!
That would prove our manly-ness without doubt, besides, fighting is healthy!

 

[BrooklynBoy]

As for being manly, I'm about to go eat some raw meat and make a fire with a couple of sticks!

Sounds like a good idea. I think I'll try that. And then after that I'm going to shave with broken glass.........with my face dry. No shaving lather. :laughing:

Ehre.....you made some very good points. Thanks!!

 

[itrick]

I sometimes think that people on this forum take typology way too seriously.

Typology isn't a boundary that you fall within. It isn't a limitation.

It is merely a reference point, a way to discover yourself, a way to identify strengths, weaknesses and preferences for how you like to live.

People who blame their lives on their typology are giving it waaaay too much power.

People who use typology as an excuse for their behavior are just being lazy. I would highly encourage everyone to use typology as a way to push themselves in areas which they don't normally feel comfortable with rather than letting it set up artificial boundaries and convenient excuses.

 

[Akaharu]

I sometimes think that people on this forum take typology way too seriously.

Typology isn't a boundary that you fall within. It isn't a limitation.

It is merely a reference point, a way to discover yourself, a way to identify strengths, weaknesses and preferences for how you like to live.

People who blame their lives on their typology are giving it waaaay too much power.

People who use typology as an excuse for their behavior are just being lazy. I would highly encourage everyone to use typology as a way to push themselves in areas which they don't normally feel comfortable with rather than letting it set up artificial boundaries and convenient excuses.

I agree wholeheartly. I never saw the INFP to be something limiting, but a way to see that I'm not alone. I may change into an E someday and I need to give myself the room to grow to do so. So many of us have different potential to what we desire to do and after we learn who we are it is still possible to change.

 

[Doomjr]

what a motivational speech i enjoyed it on to the next thread!

 

[GailStrife]

Actually, i think i could very easily fall in love with an INFP boy if i ever met one.

 

[Ehre]

Actually, i think i could very easily fall in love with an INFP boy if i ever met one.

Or if you knew you met one.