[SilentScream]

I recently joined this forum ... and see that your post is almost a year old. I can tell you that as an INFJ, I have used my powers of intuition to manipulate people all of my life. I have created elaborate dramas and stories and I have used my caring and generous nature on my select group of friends and used it to destroy other people or scar them for life - only to make myself feel better and gain sympathy by portraying others in a poor light. I have been vindictive without reason. I can hate someone without having any reason for it.

Perhaps I do this to over-compensate for the nagging compassion and empathy I feel ... I have always felt hate towards my own feelings of sympathy and my natural drive to help others in need - even if they haven't deserved. I hate my ability to forgive - because I cannot forget. And I hate my intuition.

When things are going well, I feel proud to be an INFJ ... but when things are not going so well ... I hate it. At the moment, I'm going through that phase (day 9 of a terrible divorce where my wife left me). I shouted on my ex-wife's father ... and I was right in doing so. But now I feel bad for doing it ... I hate this part of myself. I have always avoided conflict not because I cannot handle it ... but because I'm afraid of my own feelings of guilt and remorse after doing it.

So yes ... us INFJ's when backed into a corner can be manipulative and cause destruction - intentionally and unintentionally . I usually run around looking for sympathy .. and when I don't get it, I create these elaborate reasons why I should get it. The worst part is ... I never thought of it as a bad thing ... I always considered myself a good person .. even with the nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I'm not.

 

[SilentScream]

Thank you for your responses once again. It has been a while since this post was written so I've had quite abit of time to sit back and observe myself. I still recognize where these feelings stemmed from so I'm going to mention what made me feel like this.

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I am quite a laid back, peaceful person and for me to become a very manipulative + angry person, means that I do not feel understood/ appreciated by someone, to be precise, being in an unbalanced relationship with a very unhealthy person drove me over the edge.

Choose your chosen family wisely.

@halah --- looking at my post again, I feel like it was written by a completely different person. It was only a week after my divorce and I'm actually very disturbed by my own words. I cringed when I read them again after 9 months - but I realize that I was fresh from a divorce and I really viewed myself poorly back then.

Bad relationships have a way of making the one who's being abused and manipulated into believing that they are the manipulators and abusers. Funny thing is that when I look back at my life with a fresher and clearer perspective, I can't see any point where I did any of those things I posted above - I can only vaguely remember the kind of emotional upheaval I must have been in to believe all the above about myself.