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Manipulative/ Angry?

2569 Views 14 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  Shantkn
I've noticed that over the past few months I've become very manipulative, attention seeking, angry, almost as if I'm also trying to find something to be angry about.

Nothing appears to be going wrong in my life, but I'm very much starting to hate myself for what I'm becoming.

I now cry and get very angry when I don't get what I want, never want to be alone, push certain people over in an attempt to make them as crap as I feel and even getting physically angry and scratching/ throwing things. Not nice at all.

Anyone experienced this or no the cause of their 'odd' behavior.

I'm always wanting to improve on myself and I really do not want to become a bitter person.

What do you do when you're stressed or angry?

Any advice/ experiences?
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halah - this denotes a lack of 'control' somewhere in your life. is there an experience that disatisfied you recently? it could be related to the recent relationship you had. i can understand this fight 'to not be alone' that is my biggest fear. i feel terrible sometimes people around me have to feel the brunt of that. i think you are too young to start to have 'bitter' feelings creep in, fight against that, once that takes root, it changes you.

it seems negative, but when you have these episodes of anger, it does draw attention, so you are getting the attention, even though it may not seem in a healthy way. when there is a 'desperation' of not being alone, and these feelings are given free reign it can get ugly. how i first started to get out of this pattern, was i told myself, i may not be able to help myself 'right now' but how about i go out in the world, and in a small way, ensure that others don't feel this pain that i do. i always see the others aren't 'alone', and try to be assistance to others in need, emotionally. you have to switch focus from you, and put it outward in a positive way.

i am now getting into a bit of 'bitterness' now in my age (31) for the life i have, not being what i wanted, regardless of my efforts. i am still alone for sure, but trying to get through, i keep up on trying to stay busy, and taking actions to change, study more etc. perhaps what you need is to surround yourself with positive people, who uplift you. or find some help, elsewhere. also perhaps look into yourself, and find activities that you like to do, and find your 'self'. i went through this for many years when i was younger. i had to become comfortable with being with 'myself' and once you find that comfort, it is actually fun spending time with yourself and stuff.

sometimes the world seems out of control, because there is nothing you can do to make others notice you, or care for you in the ways you need to be cared for. i think this touches on that thread topic slightly. learn to be forgiving with others, and take the focus away from yourself for a while, do things that make others happy, and be forgiving if they cannot fulfill your needs, and you feel 'alone'. get busy in your life, so that you don't feel 'alone'.

i understand you are in school? i'm sure there is lots of work to do. plan your future. eat some ice cream, paint something. smile frequently. life is too short....but i'm not saying that i don't feel what you feel, i still do have occasional outbursts. but try to fulfill voids, and find out what is missing in your heart, that is causing you to need others so much. try spiritual practice of some form, and meditation, as others here have mentioned. often when something is out of place (and you said you feel generally happy, but have episodes) this is usually indicative of problems that are not of this realm, this is why spiritual practice can be soothing.

well you are a nice girl, and i don't wish for you to feel so down, or to take on bitterness (that is hard to reverse). take some of the ideas from this Thread, and let us know if you get better and how you've done it. i still have the occasional episode of this 'lonley' panic, and i do push people away too. so i would like to hear of your progress in this area, and what you've done. ask yourself the next time you have an emotional outburst, what are the consequences of my actions? how will this way of being help me in the long run? when you find answers you may stop that behavior.
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