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Are any INFJ's here "Masked INFJ's"?

By that I mean, do you act extroverted, but you really keep most of your thoughts and secrets to yourself?
Do you act like you go with the flow when you have everything planned out inside your head?

I am a masked INFJ. If you saw me with my close friends, you would probably think I was extroverted. Laughing with a loud voice that carries across the room. You listen in and I seem to be sharing a secret about myself. But really, there are 10x more secrets buried in my life than the ones I tell. I only tell any secrets to people I really trust, or just don't care if they tell someone. When you look at me when I am in a crowd of strangers, I sit alone. I am quietly. I barely say a word. I don't try to go up to random people and make friends. No one comes up to me. After a while you see I go up to one person and start talking. You see we become friends. I still do not socialize with barely anyone else for weeks to come.

Anyone else act like this? Kind of a masked INFJ?
 

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Of course. I change my exterior to match it. If I feel comfortable, I open up more. If I feel like keeping to myself, I do so. I don't see them as masks anymore though because it's ludicrous to assume you can be 100% yourself all the time to everyone. I usually just sit back and let everyone make their own assumptions about me. "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
 

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I was having a similar thought a few months ago at a party. I was thinking that anyone looking in on me would think I'm a total extrovert. I know how to come off as being really open. I have different subjects I'm comfortable being open about with people I don't know that well. I will readily talk about these safe subjects. I can even initiate conversations with others and come off as spontaneous but it's all so calculated.

The secrets you feel comfortable sharing...they are like "secrets" you've divulged so many times they aren't really secrets anymore and so you can use them over and over in conversation without wincing. But your real secrets will stay hidden?
That's how I am.
Thanks for writing this thread.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Thank you for writing that post =]. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
 

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I agree that we can be extrovert with close firends, and in a larger group when under stress. Maybe is it's Fe; therefore our extroversion can also be emotive to others. I need to be one-to-one with someone I trust before I am 100% me. But, even then there are secrets and memories that are only for me. The weight we carry is our value, as well as our burden.
 

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Definately, but most people do this to an extent. I am usually very goofy out-going with people, it's my way of ligthening the atmosphere and enjoying myself. I laugh heartily and a LOT if with people who can bring that out in me, and definately can come across as extrovert sometimes.

I have no problem being open either. I don't keep many secrets these days (I love sharing, must be Fe), the only secret I suppose is that underneath that ball of goofy, Fe-ish out-going normalcy there's someone serious and deep who feels a bit out of sync and has contradictory antisocial tendencies. I am very honest and blunt actually, and people tend to like that about me. I have a harder time keeping my mouth shut. But obviously I am careful about whom I share certain things with, but if I feel comfortable and there's trust and openess, I'll share more and more.

Harder thing for me is finding someone whom I can connect with in various different levels.
 

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I think most of us are like that. We do have Chameleon qualities. This is the most INFJs I have even seen in one spot and from reading their posts, I see I fit right in.

I have people tell me all the time that I am an extrovert. I am not, but I let them believe that anyhow. I get very overwhelmed by people and don't like large groups. I talk to the ones I know, but I don't share what I am feeling deep inside. I project another personality entirely, to protect myself. I think it's in built and natural to us. We, who are so easily hurt and harmed by others careless speech and actions. We have to learn to survive, and survival is easier if we throw people off of our sent.

I take great pleasure in not letting others know the real me. Unless I wish them to.
 

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I fit what you are saying, but I don't look at it that way.

It's just a different side of myself that I show to others.

The way I view it, Fe is for other people; Ni is when I'm by myself. I might throw in a little Ni, if I am speaking to a person with above average intellegence, but I don't know that many people who are like that.

And how many more times am I going to write about this?..... :dry:
 

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I was having a similar thought a few months ago at a party. I was thinking that anyone looking in on me would think I'm a total extrovert. I know how to come off as being really open. I have different subjects I'm comfortable being open about with people I don't know that well. I will readily talk about these safe subjects. I can even initiate conversations with others and come off as spontaneous but it's all so calculated.

The secrets you feel comfortable sharing...they are like "secrets" you've divulged so many times they aren't really secrets anymore and so you can use them over and over in conversation without wincing. But your real secrets will stay hidden?
That's how I am.
Thanks for writing this thread.
I am like this. everyone thinks i am an extrovert. i laugh loudly and a lot. i am a flatterer and i know how to get some one talking. i can be spontaneous (outwardly). but really, deep down inside this is planned behaviour. i know what works and go through the motions to survive a party or large gathering.

you get me if you know i truly only like a few people. i never share my heart on all issues with everyone, or even a few. you will only ever know parts of my compartmentalized self. and if you think i'm an extrovert, you have not dug deep enough to understand my intense struggle with people.

so....i relate. i am often thought to be something i am not. to a large extent i enjoy this. it gives a sense of control about how others perceive you. it allows you control over what you share. it lets others feel at peace in your presence without realizing you are not completely there.

but when some one gets me and sees past the fragments of me. sees how the puzzle fits together. sees through the mask of me. pieces together the symbolism of me. that can be confounding. amazing. frightening. exhilarating.

i think the extraverted mask is sanity :wink:
beneath the mask, well that is unrestrained insanity :crazy:
 

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Are any INFJ's here "Masked INFJ's"?

By that I mean, do you act extroverted, but you really keep most of your thoughts and secrets to yourself?
Do you act like you go with the flow when you have everything planned out inside your head?

I am a masked INFJ. If you saw me with my close friends, you would probably think I was extroverted. Laughing with a loud voice that carries across the room. You listen in and I seem to be sharing a secret about myself. But really, there are 10x more secrets buried in my life than the ones I tell. I only tell any secrets to people I really trust, or just don't care if they tell someone. When you look at me when I am in a crowd of strangers, I sit alone. I am quietly. I barely say a word. I don't try to go up to random people and make friends. No one comes up to me. After a while you see I go up to one person and start talking. You see we become friends. I still do not socialize with barely anyone else for weeks to come.

Anyone else act like this? Kind of a masked INFJ?

We are all chameleons when we need to be. Not so much that we are not being ourselves. This is just one person's opinion and through this person's experiences. We all wear a mask on any given moment. Depending on the situation, our past experiences and what is comfortable with us. We have the capacity and level to be extroverted at times and to be introverted at times. Through trial and error, we know what works for us and what areas we need practice on.
I believe for INFJ's we get the most out of a relationship that is meaningful when we have intimate one on one interactions with another individual. For us it is very satisfying to have a better understanding of one another. Group settings are too out in the open to actually have these moments, so we blend in to accomodate the setting and learn to accept these scenarios. The more we practice, the more we adjust and get used to different situations.

Each and everyone of us where mask on any given day. We set boundaries and we also let people in built on trust. I believe that INFJ's really do enjoy people, but we choose who we want in our lives that is important to us. We have many but choose only a few that have common ground of interest. If that doesn't make sense or doesn't apply, disregard.

Sincerely,
Johnny
 

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I think we are that happy social person at heart It's just later on when we collect everything we needed because It's not like I want to be doom and gloom when around loved ones. I naturally hold a pretty sad face even when I'm not sad. our mask is pretty difficult to understand. I havent figured out why are were so good at hiding everything about ourselves but I like to go by that saying "take's one to know one"
 

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Are any INFJ's here "Masked INFJ's"?

By that I mean, do you act extroverted, but you really keep most of your thoughts and secrets to yourself?
Do you act like you go with the flow when you have everything planned out inside your head?

I am a masked INFJ. If you saw me with my close friends, you would probably think I was extroverted. Laughing with a loud voice that carries across the room. You listen in and I seem to be sharing a secret about myself. But really, there are 10x more secrets buried in my life than the ones I tell. I only tell any secrets to people I really trust, or just don't care if they tell someone. When you look at me when I am in a crowd of strangers, I sit alone. I am quietly. I barely say a word. I don't try to go up to random people and make friends. No one comes up to me. After a while you see I go up to one person and start talking. You see we become friends. I still do not socialize with barely anyone else for weeks to come.

Anyone else act like this? Kind of a masked INFJ?
This describes me perfectly
 

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Are any INFJ's here "Masked INFJ's"?

By that I mean, do you act extroverted, but you really keep most of your thoughts and secrets to yourself?
Do you act like you go with the flow when you have everything planned out inside your head?

I am a masked INFJ. If you saw me with my close friends, you would probably think I was extroverted. Laughing with a loud voice that carries across the room. You listen in and I seem to be sharing a secret about myself. But really, there are 10x more secrets buried in my life than the ones I tell. I only tell any secrets to people I really trust, or just don't care if they tell someone. When you look at me when I am in a crowd of strangers, I sit alone. I am quietly. I barely say a word. I don't try to go up to random people and make friends. No one comes up to me. After a while you see I go up to one person and start talking. You see we become friends. I still do not socialize with barely anyone else for weeks to come.

Anyone else act like this? Kind of a masked INFJ?
Yes very much so... I can only think of a handful of people that I instinctively believe truly KNOW me -- and those people are pretty insightful themselves to notice. Most of the time I'm just adjusting myself to various people and situations around me so rarely does the true me fully come out.
 

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Are any INFJ's here "Masked INFJ's"?

By that I mean, do you act extroverted, but you really keep most of your thoughts and secrets to yourself?
Do you act like you go with the flow when you have everything planned out inside your head?

I am a masked INFJ. If you saw me with my close friends, you would probably think I was extroverted. Laughing with a loud voice that carries across the room. You listen in and I seem to be sharing a secret about myself. But really, there are 10x more secrets buried in my life than the ones I tell. I only tell any secrets to people I really trust, or just don't care if they tell someone. When you look at me when I am in a crowd of strangers, I sit alone. I am quietly. I barely say a word. I don't try to go up to random people and make friends. No one comes up to me. After a while you see I go up to one person and start talking. You see we become friends. I still do not socialize with barely anyone else for weeks to come.

Anyone else act like this? Kind of a masked INFJ?
this is pretty much me except on the internet i am little more open but i hardly seek out friends either way,
 

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No one is saying anything I don't agree with.
I am such a flatterer! Maybe we flatter, to open up the other person / people, as a way of obtaining more information about them. I think people can feel that we can seem a bit over-familiar, so I often get caught up (in my own head) as too whether I'm being 'genuine' on not; but I am really, because it's me.
Sometimes my extrovert mask can crack a bit when introversion takes over for a moment, and I literally stop mid sentence. I've learnt to reboot fairly quickly, but ESTPs for example, get very confused. Oh well...:happy:

I don't think mask cracking should be feared; beautiful things happen when you're caught off guard?
 

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other than masks, we do have chameleon tendencies as well.
I agree with this.And would like to add that we can tend to lurk as well in a way that makes us seem distance when we really aren't. I've learned that it's best to observe and blend in the shadows until you are needed. Very good method if all you seek is to understand people. I like letting people talk who like to talk and I appear to be a loner. People are surprised to find out that I'm not at all cold or aloof. I was just in the crowd...watching them XD.
 

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Yeah, I can do the extroverted thing pretty well. I am not loud and really super out going but I can be a lot of fun and talkative when I want to and I am in the situation. One of my most closest friends who also knows MBTI calls me a "chatty INFJ." I also think I give off a very strong T vibe if people don't look close enough and notice.
 
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