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So, since I don't go out much and I'm picky with the guys I like, my friend is very much interested in setting me up with somebody. Recently she's trying to set me up with this guy from Poland that she knows. She says I'm going to marry him... I don't even know him, so it's a bit frustrating that she keeps doing that. On top of that she knows that I like someone else and am kind of currently seeing him, we've been going on dates, but we haven't made things official.:blushed: So, it's awkward that she keeps playing the matchmaker game with me.

Just curious, do any of you have friend like this? And if so, how do you deal with them?
 

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I've been through this, I usually tell them I'm joining the preisthood. This probably isn't helpful, but pissing them off this the only way I deal with it.
 

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I have an ISTJ friend who thinks I would belong with xSTJ guys. She doesn't know about personality typology; the guys she "picks out" for me just happen to be those types. She's said that she wants me to end up with a good guy, so I think she tends to pick out those types because they have similar values to hers and thus appear to match her definition of "good".
 

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There are two types of match making friends.

1. People who think you'll really get along with your "match".

2. And people who are just sick of you being single. Even when YOU'RE not sick of being single.

Most of the time it's the second type. You'll find that a simple "why?" when they say "I want to set you up with someone" really throws them off. My friend literally says he wants to set me up with every new girl he meets.

"I think you guys will get along."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well em... Because... You both em..."

Just throw a "why" at them next time. :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #5
There are two types of match making friends.

1. People who think you'll really get along with your "match".

2. And people who are just sick of you being single. Even when YOU'RE not sick of being single.

Most of the time it's the second type. You'll find that a simple "why?" when they say "I want to set you up with someone" really throws them off. My friend literally says he wants to set me up with every new girl he meets.

"I think you guys will get along."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well em... Because... You both em..."

Just throw a "why" at them next time. :wink:
Oh, I've asked why. multiple times XD this last guy, she's like, "he's the best, he's super nice, and you're super nice! It works!" -_____- she forgets that for me, simply being nice isn't necessarily a reason I like a guy, otherwise I would have accepted the last guy who liked me. He was a nice guy, but by no means was my type. He was not exactly clingy, but more like obsessive. He never understood my reasons for wanting to be alone sometimes. And maybe my friend is the 1st. I'm only 19, so I don't know why she would be tired of me being single. Then again, she's getting married soon and maybe wants me to be married like her, too... But she clearly knows I like someone else, so I really wish she'd leave me alone about that.
 

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I think these people get some sort of power trip from match making. It has nothing to do with caring about you. It's weird.

I had a friend who always played match maker. She wasn't good at it either. Unless it's something they do for a living, they're probably very bad at it.
 

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I'm only 19, so I don't know why she would be tired of me being single. Then again, she's getting married soon and maybe wants me to be married like her, too... But she clearly knows I like someone else, so I really wish she'd leave me alone about that.
You'll find that age doesn't make a difference. I've got a friend that tries to set me up on dates for no real reason other than "I've been single too long", and I'm just 17...

I also have a lot of other friends that keep saying they're gonna find me a girlfriend because "I seem lonely", but never actually do anything. I just don't understand why they think that I NEED to be in a relationship...
 

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Then again, she's getting married soon
Haha my match maker friend IS married! He's only a year older than me but they're nearly married two years.

I think these people get some sort of power trip from match making. It has nothing to do with caring about you. It's weird.
There are some people you know are just going to hold it over your head for the rest of your life. "You can't be mad at me I set you up with Sarah!" I didn't fucking ask you to!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
You'll find that age doesn't make a difference. I've got a friend that tries to set me up on dates for no real reason other than "I've been single too long", and I'm just 17...

I also have a lot of other friends that keep saying they're gonna find me a girlfriend because "I seem lonely", but never actually do anything. I just don't understand why they think that I NEED to be in a relationship...
Haha, I agree. But my friend isn't trying to find me a boyfriend... she's trying to find me a "husband" (her words not mine). Not quite ready for that yet. I'd rather have another year or more before I'm married. Marriage is nice, but it's not fun and games either. It's a huge responsibility especially when you start having kids. -_____- not ready.
 

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That sounds so annoying... I have not experienced that my friends try to match make with someone, but I feel I have experienced similar kind of behaviour. Like when someone thinks he/she knows what I want better then what I know myself. It is like some people try to force their own ideas, of what I need, on me, when I know very well myself what I want.

I think you should not care what your friend says, since you are already dating someone that you like. If it does not work with the one you are dating, then maybe you can be open to what your friend suggests.
 

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Have you tried telling her to knock it off?
Just tell her you appreciate the gesture but you want to find your own husband because then it'll be more like the fairytale romance you've always envisaged... (this last part doesn't actually have to be true)
 

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My "matchmaker" friend is a fan of just setting me up with single people with no concept whatsoever of whether we'd be compatible.
It's always those damn friends who hate seeing two people alone. They mean well.
I swear I've been set up with women who have 38 teeth, wear bibs, and only speak in pig latin because we'd "be perfect together."
I tell my friend that I require a two pictures and a writing sample for submission first.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
haha, yeah, my friend means well, but she doesn't quite understand that people don't like being matched to other people according to her tastes. Once my roommate and I were playing soccer out in front of our apartment and my match making friend came over with her fiancee. A guy we hardly knew was passing by and said, "hey mind if I join your soccer game?" My match maker friend immediately asked, "Hey want to marry my friend??? (she means my roommate" The guy was weirded out and said "um... I don't exactly know her". given my roommate and him are actually dating now, but at the time it was just awkward.
 

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@missy12

Maybe you could helpfully specify what it is that you "want" in a date so your friend'll have some other brief than presumably just "nice/cute" and'll therefore be a little less obnoxious in introducing you to any random guy for having to make sure he fits your 'criteria.'

If you've tried this already, and she's still doing the same crap; then it means she doesn't respect your conclusions as to what it is you 'want.'
Just say something like "I appreciate the effort you go through, but it's making me feel awkward and pressured more than it's working." Point out how her way of approaching it hasn't worked out for you, and maybe reference that quote about the definition of insanity.

Maybe you should say something about why you don't just fall in love with just anyone. That you're introverted, perhaps a little shy -- and certainly shy when your friend suddenly draws all the attention directly to you -- and want to know that someone is worth opening yourself up to through gradually getting to know their personality.

haha, yeah, my friend means well, but she doesn't quite understand that people don't like being matched to other people according to her tastes.
Emphasise the point, then.
Say that she's not respecting what your tastes are, and that's why it's not working.

She's your friend and is concerned enough about you to make a fool of herself in front of strangers (either that or if she's one of the people spoken about earlier in the thread as @Jebediah mentioned; she's just a fool), so she can take a short smack on the nose and correction in your ways; because ultimately she's doing this for you, and if you emphasise how it's not going to work enough that she can't just wave it away and think "oh that's just her being silly," she'll respect what you say.


Also your status is "dating", so I worked on the assumption that you do want to meet someone and it's just the manner of this 'strategy' that is bugging you.
 
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