I was severely abused growing up. As a result, there was a paradigm shift in me which I bitterly resent. I'm an introvert. Would've continued being an extrovert had things been better.
wouldn't that then mean that you are ENFP regardless. Your Ne according to you is well developed as is your Te more so than SiI am a clear INFP, but my Ne is so strong, so natural, and so part of everything I do. I often wonder whether I'd have been an ENFP, had abuse not forced me into constant survival/judgement mode from such a young age. My Ne was often shot down and punished. Plus... I think that in order to survive, I needed to be able to quickly feel out what was "right" or "wrong", and make immediate decisions based on that. And to make sense of everything instead of going crazy, I had to focus a lot on finding psychological meanings (logical or otherwise) out of my situations.
I also consequently have a lot of issues with depression and social anxiety, which I feel further complicates my personal distinction between i and e. I know social anxiety doesn't necessarily correlate with introversion vs. extroversion, but in my particular case I think it might. I wonder if I would be better able to recharge and nourish myself without isolating so severely, had my upbringing been different. Like... when I am focusing on treating my depression and start to lift out of it for awhile, the idea of being alone actually makes me restless and drained a LOT more quickly than normal. But it's hard to say because I'm depressed so often (as a result from abuse, largely).
Further, I often feel like my Te is stronger than my Si --- which would only make sense as an ENFP *sigh*