I was severely abused growing up. As a result, there was a paradigm shift in me which I bitterly resent. I'm an introvert. Would've continued being an extrovert had things been better.
MBTI and childhood abuse
I'm wondering about how childhood abuse can affect your perception of your type or even of your cognitive functions. Right now I'm in the not-even-kind-of-unique process of figuring out my MBTI type, and it's actually bringing up a lot of issues from my childhood and even from just a few years ago (only being 23 now). It feels like every time I settle into a type I remember something else and it makes me wonder if that's really the way I am or if it's a quality that I have as a result of a bad situation. How would abuse as a young child affect your development? For instance, I've read that being in very stressful situations can make someone rely more on their dominant and tertiary functions and bypass their auxiliary. I know there's controversy about that statement, but assuming it's true, how early could that happen? If, for example, you're an ISFP, would you say that there's a definite way that an ISFP would handle abuse compared to an ISFJ? Would a dom/aux Se user respond in a drastically different way than a dom/aux Si user? I know you can't really assign behavior to the different types or even cognitive functions, but you'd think there would be some difference between the two, wouldn't you? Is it possible to be so...driven away from your center and your natural behavior that you can't identify what cognitive functions you actually use, or what order you use them in?
I'm not asking that anyone share anything that they're uncomfortable with, but I guess in addition to what I asked above, I'm curious to see if anyone can sympathize with where I am right now. Do you feel like you were really able to nail down your type if you were raised in an abusive household, and how long did it take you/how did you figure it out? Are there any questions that you asked yourself that were especially helpful?
I'm sorry if this post was a mess. I'm really having trouble articulating what I mean.
I'm not asking that anyone share anything that they're uncomfortable with, but I guess in addition to what I asked above, I'm curious to see if anyone can sympathize with where I am right now. Do you feel like you were really able to nail down your type if you were raised in an abusive household, and how long did it take you/how did you figure it out? Are there any questions that you asked yourself that were especially helpful?
I'm sorry if this post was a mess. I'm really having trouble articulating what I mean.
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I'm extremely emotional for an INTP. I wonder if that's because I was abused a lot as a child.
I am a clear INFP, but my Ne is so strong, so natural, and so part of everything I do. I often wonder whether I'd have been an ENFP, had abuse not forced me into constant survival/judgement mode from such a young age. My Ne was often shot down and punished. Plus... I think that in order to survive, I needed to be able to quickly feel out what was "right" or "wrong", and make immediate decisions based on that. I also learned to form judgements and apply them to my situations in order to keep from going crazy. Which means further reliance upon Fi?
I also consequently have a lot of issues with depression and social anxiety, which I feel further complicates my personal distinction between i and e. I know social anxiety doesn't necessarily correlate with introversion vs. extroversion, but in my particular case I think it might. I wonder if I would be better able to recharge and nourish myself without isolating so severely, had my upbringing been different. Like... when I am focusing on treating my depression, and start to actually lift out of it, the idea of being alone actually makes me restless and drained a LOT more quickly than normal. But it's hard to say because I'm depressed so often (as a result from abuse, largely).
Further, I often feel like my Te is stronger than my Si --- which would only make sense as an ENFP (as opposed to INFP) *sigh* So confusing.
I also consequently have a lot of issues with depression and social anxiety, which I feel further complicates my personal distinction between i and e. I know social anxiety doesn't necessarily correlate with introversion vs. extroversion, but in my particular case I think it might. I wonder if I would be better able to recharge and nourish myself without isolating so severely, had my upbringing been different. Like... when I am focusing on treating my depression, and start to actually lift out of it, the idea of being alone actually makes me restless and drained a LOT more quickly than normal. But it's hard to say because I'm depressed so often (as a result from abuse, largely).
Further, I often feel like my Te is stronger than my Si --- which would only make sense as an ENFP (as opposed to INFP) *sigh* So confusing.
wouldn't that then mean that you are ENFP regardless. Your Ne according to you is well developed as is your Te more so than SiI am a clear INFP, but my Ne is so strong, so natural, and so part of everything I do. I often wonder whether I'd have been an ENFP, had abuse not forced me into constant survival/judgement mode from such a young age. My Ne was often shot down and punished. Plus... I think that in order to survive, I needed to be able to quickly feel out what was "right" or "wrong", and make immediate decisions based on that. And to make sense of everything instead of going crazy, I had to focus a lot on finding psychological meanings (logical or otherwise) out of my situations.
I also consequently have a lot of issues with depression and social anxiety, which I feel further complicates my personal distinction between i and e. I know social anxiety doesn't necessarily correlate with introversion vs. extroversion, but in my particular case I think it might. I wonder if I would be better able to recharge and nourish myself without isolating so severely, had my upbringing been different. Like... when I am focusing on treating my depression and start to lift out of it for awhile, the idea of being alone actually makes me restless and drained a LOT more quickly than normal. But it's hard to say because I'm depressed so often (as a result from abuse, largely).
Further, I often feel like my Te is stronger than my Si --- which would only make sense as an ENFP *sigh*
I suggest that you are ENFP instead, regardless of whether or not you used Fi..it's called adaptation..
"Is it possible to be driven far away from your center"
Yes. I would say it is possible.
"What questions did you ask yourself?"
I found the stuff on 'healing the child within' particularly useful and the questions asked from that perspective (there is a book by that name too if you are interested).
The questions that begged being asked over and over was Why? Why did this happen?
The questions that helped after letting the Why questions quiet down inside was "What happened" and "What things do I like about myself".
As I have posted elsewhere, I couldn't type myself until I was in a less stressed out place. Humans do not thrive under stress, and the MBTI typing in my view seems to require you to have some experiences where you are not under stress and can be your self.
The things you are asking and thinking about are things I can sympathize with. Yes.
Yes. I would say it is possible.
"What questions did you ask yourself?"
I found the stuff on 'healing the child within' particularly useful and the questions asked from that perspective (there is a book by that name too if you are interested).
The questions that begged being asked over and over was Why? Why did this happen?
The questions that helped after letting the Why questions quiet down inside was "What happened" and "What things do I like about myself".
As I have posted elsewhere, I couldn't type myself until I was in a less stressed out place. Humans do not thrive under stress, and the MBTI typing in my view seems to require you to have some experiences where you are not under stress and can be your self.
The things you are asking and thinking about are things I can sympathize with. Yes.
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