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MBTI Jokes​


Title has summed up the topic quite well. Jokes, all centered around MBTI types. Here's a few that I have to present:


1. How many ______ does it take to change a light bulb?

xSFJ: One. Because they have to do everything around here, and no one appreciates them!

xSTJ: Two. One to read the instructions line by line, and the other to argue about the interpretation of them, eventually agreeing and changing the bulb together.

xSFP: Two. One to complain that it's dark, and another to cajole some other type into fixing it.

xSTP: Three. One to try removing the bulb out with a gadget they invented and electrocuting themselves, another to call 911, and a third to laugh at them and do it the right way.

xNFJ: Three. One to talk about the meaning and symbolism of darkness as a metaphor for death/sleep in a larger context, another to try and come to a compromise with everyone else about how the bulb should be changed, and a third to decide to change the bulb so as to provide a prop to share their ideas about the symbolism of light as representing understanding.

xNTJ: Three. One to propose how it should be changed, the other to argue about why their method wouldn't work, and the other to take the initiative on their own to sneak behind the backs of the first two while they argue and change it their way.

xNFP: Zero. They don't want the light to come back, because the darkness reflects the inner turmoil and depression of their souls.

xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time.


2. Extroversion
An Extrovert, working at the supermarket produce department, is approached by a customer who asks to buy half a head of lettus. The Extrovert, disbelieving, responds, "I don't know, I'll have to ask the manager." He consults the manager, unaware that the customer is following him. "Some idiot wants half a head of lettus..." Suddenly realizing the customer is standing right behind him, he continues without missing a beat, adding, "and this gratious gentelman has consented to buy the other half."

3. Introversion
It's a rainy day. The first grade teacher is getting her kids dressed to go home. She struggles for five minutes with one child's boots and shoes, tugging them on and getting them laced up. Just as she's finished, the Introverted child says, "Those aren't my boots." The teacher sighs and spends another five minutes undoing everything; unlacing, unbuckling, tugging, and refitting. Just as she's finished, the child adds, "They're my brother's. My mommy said I had to wear them today."

4. Sensing
There's the true story of President Calvin Cooliage, the Introverted-Sensor of all time. At a dinner, a guest sitting next to him said, "I have a bet with my husband that I can get you to speak three words to me." To which Calvin Cooliage cooly replied, "You lose."

5. iNtuiting
Two thieves are pulling off a breaking-and-entering job in a high-rise office building. Suddenly, they hear someone approaching. The iNtuitive thief says to the Sensor thief, "Jump out the window or we'll get caught!" The Sensor says, "You've got to be joking! We're on the 13th floor!" To which the iNtuitive replies, "This is no time to be superstitious! Jump!"

6. Thinking
Jim asks his brother Sam to dog-sit while he's out of town. The first night away, Jim calls to check on his dog. Sam, a Thinker, tells him bluntly, "Your dumb dog died." Jim, clearly upset, scolds his brother for his insensitivity. "If you had a sensitive bone in your body, you would have broken it to me slowly. You would have told me, 'Your dog had an accident.' When I called tomorrow, you would have said, 'Well, your dog's condition has worsened.' And on the third night, I would have been ready for the bad news. By the way, while I've got you on the phone, how's Mother?" To which Same replied, "Well, mother's had an accident."

7. Feeling
A man with a glass eye accidently swallows it one day. Two weeks later he visits the doctor and complains about stomach pain but doesn't mention the glass eye. The doctor, examining the patient, asks him to bend over. When the doctor takes a look, only to find an eyeball looking back at him, he says, "Listen, if I'm going to help you, you've got to learn to trust me."

8. Judging
There's a flash flood carrying everything down Main Street. A young boy, watching it out the window, notices a red hat that floats by but turns at the corner of the house, only to reverse direction and float by again. Amazed at this phenominon, the boys calls for his mother. She calmly replies, "Relax, that's your father. He said he was going to cut the grass today, come hell or high water."

9. Percieving
A budding actor, a Perciever, is hired to perform a one-line role in a play. The line is, "Hark! Is that a cannon I hear?" For two weeks the actor practices feverishly, repeating the line over and over again. By opening night he has master every aspect of his role and in dress rehersal had performed to everyone's satisfaction. The director, sending him out as the curtain goes up, gives the final instruction: "Remember, the whole play is riding on that line." The Perciever walks out on stage, and there is immediatly an enourmous KABOOM! In surprise, the actor blurts out, "What the hell was that?!"


Got jokes? Let's hear 'em!
 

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xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time.

5. iNtuiting
Two thieves are pulling off a breaking-and-entering job in a high-rise office building. Suddenly, they hear someone approaching. The iNtuitive thief says to the Sensor thief, "Jump out the window or we'll get caught!" The Sensor says, "You've got to be joking! We're on the 13th floor!" To which the iNtuitive replies, "This is no time to be superstitious! Jump!"
Made me laugh so hard.
Thanks!
 

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3. Introversion
It's a rainy day. The first grade teacher is getting her kids dressed to go home. She struggles for five minutes with one child's boots and shoes, tugging them on and getting them laced up. Just as she's finished, the Introverted child says, "Those aren't my boots." The teacher sighs and spends another five minutes undoing everything; unlacing, unbuckling, tugging, and refitting. Just as she's finished, the child adds, "They're my brother's. My mommy said I had to wear them today."


5. iNtuiting
Two thieves are pulling off a breaking-and-entering job in a high-rise office building. Suddenly, they hear someone approaching. The iNtuitive thief says to the Sensor thief, "Jump out the window or we'll get caught!" The Sensor says, "You've got to be joking! We're on the 13th floor!" To which the iNtuitive replies, "This is no time to be superstitious! Jump!"

Those two are awesome, especially the introvert one. I may have to tell that one to some non MBTI people,even. :)
 

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5. iNtuiting
Two thieves are pulling off a breaking-and-entering job in a high-rise office building. Suddenly, they hear someone approaching. The iNtuitive thief says to the Sensor thief, "Jump out the window or we'll get caught!" The Sensor says, "You've got to be joking! We're on the 13th floor!" To which the iNtuitive replies, "This is no time to be superstitious! Jump!"
This one made me lol :laughing:
 

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MBTI Jokes​
xNTJ: Three. One to propose how it should be changed, the other to argue about why their method wouldn't work, and the other to take the initiative on their own to sneak behind the backs of the first two while they argue and change it their way.
2. Extroversion
An Extrovert, working at the supermarket produce department, is approached by a customer who asks to buy half a head of lettus. The Extrovert, disbelieving, responds, "I don't know, I'll have to ask the manager." He consults the manager, unaware that the customer is following him. "Some idiot wants half a head of lettus..." Suddenly realizing the customer is standing right behind him, he continues without missing a beat, adding, "and this gratious gentelman has consented to buy the other half."
5. iNtuiting
Two thieves are pulling off a breaking-and-entering job in a high-rise office building. Suddenly, they hear someone approaching. The iNtuitive thief says to the Sensor thief, "Jump out the window or we'll get caught!" The Sensor says, "You've got to be joking! We're on the 13th floor!" To which the iNtuitive replies, "This is no time to be superstitious! Jump!"
6. Thinking
Jim asks his brother Sam to dog-sit while he's out of town. The first night away, Jim calls to check on his dog. Sam, a Thinker, tells him bluntly, "Your dumb dog died." Jim, clearly upset, scolds his brother for his insensitivity. "If you had a sensitive bone in your body, you would have broken it to me slowly. You would have told me, 'Your dog had an accident.' When I called tomorrow, you would have said, 'Well, your dog's condition has worsened.' And on the third night, I would have been ready for the bad news. By the way, while I've got you on the phone, how's Mother?" To which Same replied, "Well, mother's had an accident."

7. Feeling
A man with a glass eye accidently swallows it one day. Two weeks later he visits the doctor and complains about stomach pain but doesn't mention the glass eye. The doctor, examining the patient, asks him to bend over. When the doctor takes a look, only to find an eyeball looking back at him, he says, "Listen, if I'm going to help you, you've got to learn to trust me."

9. Percieving
A budding actor, a Perciever, is hired to perform a one-line role in a play. The line is, "Hark! Is that a cannon I hear?" For two weeks the actor practices feverishly, repeating the line over and over again. By opening night he has master every aspect of his role and in dress rehersal had performed to everyone's satisfaction. The director, sending him out as the curtain goes up, gives the final instruction: "Remember, the whole play is riding on that line." The Perciever walks out on stage, and there is immediatly an enourmous KABOOM! In surprise, the actor blurts out, "What the hell was that?!"
!
I laughed so hard! Great post.
 

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Rachel25Lee said:
xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time.
Five, actually. You forgot the one that actually changes the lightbulb while the others are arguing about whether to change the lightbulb
 

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xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time...
...ONLY to then reveal that he had been trolling the whole time and didn't give a shit about the whole scenario
 

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Discussion Starter #13 (Edited)
Additional Humor

I hear that. XD Here's some more jokes:

1. If you prayed:
ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.
ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax my focus on insignificant details, even though any of them may cause significant problems later. Begin this tomorrow at 8:31:04 am.
ISTP: God, please help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE excessively hypersensitive.
ESTP: God help me to accept responsibility for my own actions, even though problems are usually NOT my fault.
ESTJ: God, please help me to not try to RUN everything. (But, if You need some help, just ask.)
ISFJ: Lord, please help me to be more laid back and help me to do that EXACTLY right.
ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my asking).
ESFP: God help me to take things more seriously, especially jokes, parties, conversation and dancing.
ESFJ: God give me the patience I need to deal with things more effectively, and I mean right NOW!
INFJ: Lord. Please help me not to be so perfectionistic! (Did I spell that correctly?)
INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta..
ENFP: God, please help me to keep my mind on one... Look a butterfly! thing at a time.
ENFJ: God help me to do only what I can, trusting you for all the rest. But would you mind putting that in writing?
INTJ: Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.
INTP: Lord, please help me to be a little less independent - but in my own way, of course.
ENTP: Lord, please help me follow our established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a couple of minutes.

2. Type Descriptions
ENTJ: Evil Overlord - Characterized by their overwhelming desire to crush the world benieth their boot.
ENTP: Mad Scientist - "Not tonight, honey; I'm inventing a gigantic robot that will melt the sun and help me enslave the human race so I can take over the world... Okay, maybe that can wait 'till tomorrow."
ENFJ: Cult Leader - "See that impossibly high mountain dappled with sharp, ominous rocks? At the very top is where we're going to meditate."
ESFJ: Control Freak - Ideal for jobs such as middle management at a large chain department store, senior bank teller, and Jedi Master.
ESTJ: Bureaucrat - Often have an abnormal obsession with being normal at any costs.
INFJ: Conspiracy Theorist - Common jobs often held by INFJs include vagrant, loony, whacko, and writer/director/producer of the television show "Seinfeld." INFJs can also be found feeding that crucial bit of information to determined FBI agents just before they are brutally murdered.
INFP: Idealist -Iirrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.
ENFP: Scientologist - Always seeking the answers to the great mysteries of life, such as "Who are we?" and "How can I use two tin cans and a Radio Shack multimeter to bring enlightenment to the world?" and "What is it with UFOs and anal probing, anyway?" Famous ENFPs include anyone who has ever dated Tom Cruise.
ISTJ: Thought Police - "Keep the insanity on the other side of the internet, please..."
ESFP: National Enquirer Headline - Often die in bizarre circumstances, usually involving jealous boyfriends, exotic dancers, escaped pythons, feather boas, and falls from the penthouse floor of high-rise apartments; those who don't, usually die of veneral diseases.
INTP: Egghead - May be able to tell you how to construct a nuclear reactor from a coconut and two pieces of string, but may be completely incapable of fixing a hole in a boat.
INTJ: Outside Contradictor - Are often baffled by the strange and incomprehensible recreational rituals of other people, such as going to parties, watching television, and having sex. Instead, they prefer to spend their leisure time installing twin missile launchers in their cars to deter tailgaters.
ISTP: Psycho Vigilante - Don't often get along well with their extroverted cousins, Evil Overlords and Mad Scientists. Instead, they prefer the company of INTPs, or perhaps their pets. Romantic relationships with ISTPs tend to be drawn-out, tragic affairs, filled with bitterness, longing, and teenage angst.
ISFP: Crackpot - Seem flighty and their attention span appears short to an outsider; ISFPs live by the motto "Life is best approach--oh, look, potato chips!"
ISFJ: Martyr - You're spending the entire weekend cooking souffle for your husband's big dinner with his boss or giving over your body as a vehicle for the Shoggoth from beneath the ancient city of the Old Ones so that the Great Gods can rise again, selflessness and service are your hallmarks.
ESTP: Conman - Your greatest fear is failure. Under no circumstances will you permit yourself that kind of weakness, which makes you ideally suited for a job at Enron, where your natural talents can be recognized and rewarded.


Both sets of jokes above were not origninated by myself, except the descriptions (discluding the nicknames) on number two for ENTP, ENFJ, and ISTJ (which is probably why they lack the creativity of the others; sorry). Well, there's your other set of jokes. XD
 

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I laughed at ENFJ actually.

ISTJ:

A group of kindergardener were laughing and playing by the tire swing one day, when little Bobby, an obvious leader and visionary announced that everyone should meet at that exact spot 50 years later to the second! Everyone agreed that would be a really "neat-o" idea. James, the quiet kid sitting "close enough" to the other kids took this opportunity to look at the exact placement of the sun in the sky, the moss on the north side of the trees, taking into account the direction of the wind, and the smell of the freshly cut grass. Almost to the second (he reckons by his own calculations, checking the position of the sun, and the moss again) 50 years later, James walks up the hill where the tire swing used to be, after travelling over 3000 miles by car, train, plane, and taxi, leaving home, wife, and a good Tom Clancy thriller to be here. No one is there, as he expected, but he subtly smiles with the satisfaction that he, and only he, met the obligation to be there.
 

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I hear that. XD Here's some more jokes:

1. If you prayed:
ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax my focus on insignificant details, even though any of them may cause significant problems later. Begin this tomorrow at 8:31:04 am.
ISTP: God, please help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE excessively hypersensitive.
ESTP: God help me to accept responsibility for my own actions, even though problems are usually NOT my fault.
ESTJ: God, please help me to not try to RUN everything. (But, if You need some help, just ask.)
ISFJ: Lord, please help me to be more laid back and help me to do that EXACTLY right.
ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my asking).
ESFP: God help me to take things more seriously, especially jokes, parties, conversation and dancing.
ESFJ: God give me the patience I need to deal with things more effectively, and I mean right NOW!
INFJ: Lord. Please help me not to be so perfectionistic! (Did I spell that correctly?)
INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta..
ENFP: God, please help me to keep my mind on one... Look a butterfly! thing at a time.
ENFJ: God help me to do only what I can, trusting you for all the rest. But would you mind putting that in writing?
INTJ: Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.
INTP: Lord, please help me to be a little less independent - but in my own way, of course.
ENTP: Lord, please help me follow our established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a couple of minutes.

2. Type Descriptions
ENTJ: Evil Overlord - Characterized by their overwhelming desire to crush the world benieth their boot.
ENTP: Mad Scientist - "Not tonight, honey; I'm inventing a gigantic robot that will melt the sun and help me enslave the human race so I can take over the world... Okay, maybe that can wait 'till tomorrow."
ENFJ: Cult Leader - "See that impossibly high mountain dappled with sharp, ominous rocks? At the very top is where we're going to meditate."
ESFJ: Control Freak - Ideal for jobs such as middle management at a large chain department store, senior bank teller, and Jedi Master.
ESTJ: Bureaucrat - Often have an abnormal obsession with being normal at any costs.
INFJ: Conspiracy Theorist - Common jobs often held by INFJs include vagrant, loony, whacko, and writer/director/producer of the television show "Seinfeld." INFJs can also be found feeding that crucial bit of information to determined FBI agents just before they are brutally murdered.
INFP: Idealist -Iirrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.
ENFP: Scientologist - Always seeking the answers to the great mysteries of life, such as "Who are we?" and "How can I use two tin cans and a Radio Shack multimeter to bring enlightenment to the world?" and "What is it with UFOs and anal probing, anyway?" Famous ENFPs include anyone who has ever dated Tom Cruise.
ISTJ: Thought Police - "Keep the insanity on the other side of the internet, please..."
ESFP: National Enquirer Headline - Often die in bizarre circumstances, usually involving jealous boyfriends, exotic dancers, escaped pythons, feather boas, and falls from the penthouse floor of high-rise apartments; those who don't, usually die of veneral diseases.
INTP: Egghead - May be able to tell you how to construct a nuclear reactor from a coconut and two pieces of string, but may be completely incapable of fixing a hole in a boat.
INTJ: Outside Contradictor - Are often baffled by the strange and incomprehensible recreational rituals of other people, such as going to parties, watching television, and having sex. Instead, they prefer to spend their leisure time installing twin missile launchers in their cars to deter tailgaters.
ISTP: Psycho Vigilante - Don't often get along well with their extroverted cousins, Evil Overlords and Mad Scientists. Instead, they prefer the company of INTPs, or perhaps their pets. Romantic relationships with ISTPs tend to be drawn-out, tragic affairs, filled with bitterness, longing, and teenage angst.
ISFP: Crackpot - Seem flighty and their attention span appears short to an outsider; ISFPs live by the motto "Life is best approach--oh, look, potato chips!"
ISFJ: Martyr - You're spending the entire weekend cooking souffle for your husband's big dinner with his boss or giving over your body as a vehicle for the Shoggoth from beneath the ancient city of the Old Ones so that the Great Gods can rise again, selflessness and service are your hallmarks.
ESTP: Conman - Your greatest fear is failure. Under no circumstances will you permit yourself that kind of weakness, which makes you ideally suited for a job at Enron, where your natural talents can be recognized and rewarded.


Both sets of jokes above were not origninated by myself, except the descriptions (discluding the nicknames) on number two for ENTP, ENFJ, and ISTJ (which is probably why they lack the creativity of the others; sorry). Well, there's your other set of jokes. XD
You forgot one! :sad:

ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.
 

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Great jokes, although I don't get these two.

4. Sensing
There's the true story of President Calvin Cooliage, the Introverted-Sensor of all time. At a dinner, a guest sitting next to him said, "I have a bet with my husband that I can get you to speak three words to me." To which Calvin Cooliage cooly replied, "You lose."


7. Feeling
A man with a glass eye accidently swallows it one day. Two weeks later he visits the doctor and complains about stomach pain but doesn't mention the glass eye. The doctor, examining the patient, asks him to bend over. When the doctor takes a look, only to find an eyeball looking back at him, he says, "Listen, if I'm going to help you, you've got to learn to trust me."

Got jokes? Let's hear 'em!
 
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