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I feel more comfortable posting this in INFP thread because I know most of you won't judge me :p

I'm a very strange person. I shall bare my soul for once.

Sometimes in front of my family and my ISTJ ex, I can be very silent. But then I will flood their mobile phone inboxes with insane text messages, using words that I don't even dare say to their faces. (Not yet anyway)

Parents''Mum, Dad, I don't care what you think of me anymore after all what you put me through a few years ago!''

Ex''Why the hell do you have to be insecure and for what? I want everyone to leave me alone! Why can't people just leave me alone! Why do your friends have to ask whether I love my guy best friend! He is only my guy friend''

Ex''In 2008 why didn't you tell me about her, but you made me feel guilty for years over absolutely nothing!''

I practically eat up their phones with my messages. Once, I sent my ex a hundred plus text messages. There were months when I'd send him more than 15 messages in a day.

Face to face, my ex often gives me positive energy, tries to get close to me, smiles at me and even seems happy to see me. But there are times when he gets super annoyed beyond belief with my text message insanity.

Face to face, sometimes I act in front of my parents as if nothing happened but they know I'm angry.

I analyze people too much and it's become almost an unhealthy addiction.

I tend to try overanalyze people's love lives even upon first time meeting them (sometimes). I tend to wonder if people who know me in real life and online are analyzing,''damn she's weird'' thoughts about me. When I find someone interesting online, I sometimes stalk their pages and analyze why they are like that in their lives. I tend to imagine what ideals happen in another person's head even when the person types down the most rational thing. I tend to try my best to make the intuitive visions in my head clearer and clearer.

Sometimes I feel like such a weird helpless child, and I don't know whether to laugh at myself or cry.

Btw...On a note that's not related to the topic


People who are not observant or instinctive enough tend to think that I am some soft, gullible, cute, fragile, innocent, wearing rose tinted glasses (optimistic viewpoint) towards people all the time, easy to make me hit rock-bottom with a few words, blah blah blah etc. It makes me wonder if they know how my mind really processes things, because I keep SO MANY of my thoughts to myself. It makes me wonder if they even know half of the shit I have been capable of doing, and how sneaky I can get. And how I can turn things around when I want to on my terms.

Whenever I turn around and do something unexpected or get stronger than what is usually expected of me during a certain time frame, people get shocked or stunned and wonder how to analyze what it is that I actually think/ do... People seem to be taken aback that their plan of trying to get to me with their petty insults evaporate into flames.. People seem to be taken aback that I seem fine being on my own. People seem to be taken aback that I've even found bigger passions in life. Hahahahhaah..Take that, suckers!
 

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People who are not observant or instinctive enough tend to think that I am some soft, gullible, cute, fragile, innocent, wearing rose tinted glasses (optimistic viewpoint) towards people all the time, easy to make me hit rock-bottom with a few words, blah blah blah etc. It makes me wonder if they know how my mind really processes things, because I keep SO MANY of my thoughts to myself.

Whenever I turn around and do something unexpected or get stronger than what is usually expected of me during a certain time frame, people get shocked or stunned and wonder how to analyze what it is that I actually think/ do...

I can particulary relate to the above statements. I have family members who seem to think I'm some sort of ignorant, naive fool, simply because their way of relating to the world and to others is, in their minds, the only "correct" way.

I also think that it's a lot easier to put my thoughts in writing, maybe it's that way with you, too. It's easier to organize my thoghts and say what I really need to say without that element of direct confrontation.
 

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ohhhhhh You told them! Seriously I commend you for the post it made me smile.:happy:
 
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