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This is a great video, thanks. It touches upon something I posted in another thread, about the way society views mothers and females by virtue of feminine stereotypes and the disbelief that happens when a female is accused of terrible things. This is most definately a 'thing'.

But it's not just sexual abuse either. It can also be many different types of illnesses, where if it doesn't fit into the feminine stereotype then people will deny that it exists. It's quite common for it to accepted that women can be bi-polar and histrionic. But narcissistic and sociopathic are two pathologies that many people will discredit when confronted with the idea that's it's a woman. And both men and women are guilty of this whitewashing.
 

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I've been looking for this video for some time.

This is a great video, thanks. It touches upon something I posted in another thread, about the way society views mothers and females by virtue of feminine stereotypes and the disbelief that happens when a female is accused of terrible things. This is most definately a 'thing'.

But it's not just sexual abuse either. It can also be many different types of illnesses, where if it doesn't fit into the feminine stereotype then people will deny that it exists. It's quite common for it to accepted that women can be bi-polar and histrionic. But narcissistic and sociopathic are two pathologies that many people will discredit when confronted with the idea that's it's a woman. And both men and women are guilty of this whitewashing.
This. Best post I've seen in a while.
 

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I have yet to watch this, but I imagine emotional incest happens.
 

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I have yet to watch this, but I imagine emotional incest happens.
Actually the video is talking about physical sexual abuse mostly, very much in the same vein as what people generally expect when they talk about male pedophiles. I found the video resonated for me the most from about 15mins on when it talks about the assumption of the role of mother as being held as sacred by society and inviolate.
 

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Haven't watched the video yet, just some bits.

But it's an interesting topic and having been the victim of female on female abuse (in different ways and contexts, including my mother), I can definitely vouch that it's a serious problem and often it's the feminine and nurturing types propagating it. Society doesn't take it seriously, it's easier to conflate assault with rugged, dirty men in dark alleys, creepy uncles and "boys being boys" beating the everliving crap out of a victim/each other.

But female on female bullying, assault, abuse and rape are all very subtle.

I'm for equality and feminism but it's undeniable that women tend to appear as more innocent on average, especially if one of the 'types' (since I'm on Personality cafe after all) that tend to be associated with femininity and popularity.

I've seen a lot of drama queens and bullies voluntarily victimizing themselves, distorting a person's actions and words to paint them as villains and I've seen others destroying someone's psyche in ways so subtle no one would believe it. I've experienced women being both physically and emotionally manipulative/abusive and hiding it all behind an angelic and "normal" front, the rolemodel mother/student/friend, "how can someone like her be awful?"

But it's not just sexual abuse either. It can also be many different types of illnesses, where if it doesn't fit into the feminine stereotype then people will deny that it exists. It's quite common for it to accepted that women can be bi-polar and histrionic. But narcissistic and sociopathic are two pathologies that many people will discredit when confronted with the idea that's it's a woman. And both men and women are guilty of this whitewashing.
I'm extremely interested in personality disorders and I think NPD and ASPD are both underdiagnosed in both genders, the nature of the disorder itself leads the person to think there's absolutely nothing wrong with them and even enjoying the level of deceit they can pull. None of them would be caught dead in therapy unless it was to fuck with people some more.

Obviously it's a disorder, it cannot be faulted to them but some genuinely end up seeking help.
But it's a very small percentage.

The paradox here is that many Narcissist women will adopt an ultra feminine and perhaps even conservative image. Their aim is to succeed and manipulate and they cannot do so by identifying with strong, assertive women unless that's the field they want to tackle (there's feminine, 'tortured artist' make narcissists too). Generally speaking, NPD and ASPD both have a strong interest in keeping gender roles alive because it works for them in terms of blending in, learning how to mimic emotion and knowing what to expect from people, the best way to pull the strings.

So being in disbelief that 'sweet, nurturing women' can be predators is absolute madness.
In a way, this reconciles the different visions of type 2 from both Riso&Hudson and Naranjo&Ichazo.
 

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I didn't think female pedophiles were that unusual. My friend's babysitter who was a female molested her and then played a lot of weird mind games on her when she, my friend, was 5yrs old. There are female pedophiles on the list of local pedophiles online. Doesn't seem farfetched to me at all.

?
 

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I have to say I haven't watched the video but it isn't a surprise to me. I've spoken to a professional therapist once who pointed out that a large portion of people effected were by other children (both their age acting out maybe what others are doing to them or older children). I think what is surprising is that society seems to have adopted this 'out of site, out of mind ' thing with regards to this issue when its probably insanely more common than most would prefer to believe. Plus, depending on the child and how aware they are (which I assume is not so common with this type of issue), children don't understand to such a degree that they don't say anything and it becomes an issue they have to process over time. Really, I bet more children are offenders than adults (teenagers included) and that - how do you even address that aspect of pedophilia.

Another thought on the topic, there's a verbal interview I listened to that was floating on fb months ago with a pedophile. (he never acted on it), but he came across child porn when he was about 11. Then over the years he kept watching it. It got to the point where one day he approached his mom (at the age of 19) for help because he came across a video with a younger than the usual child. It was an incredibly interesting interview if anyone is interested in hunting it down. My theory with the interview is that while his sexuality was developing (at pubery) that he created a strong association with sex and children. Conditioning.. Idk.. The topic used to outrage me (and it still does) but at some point I just want to understand now.


Back to it being so common with children, I think it goes without saying that women are probably a common culprit as well as men are. I think it's for sure a taboo sick impulse that only a crazy sociopath would act upon. In the world of erotica, it's nauseating to how popular incest porn is too. Really, I sometimes wonder if the Internet was a catalyst for many pedophiles that would otherwise maybe never acted on their urges or maybe they were crazy but then things trigger the direction of their infatuation. Idk. I guess what makes me feel better about these cold realities is to find the logical reasoning as to why it exists in the first place.
 

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many of my points in gender-related discourse center of the fact that a significant number of women are just as evil and/or dangerous as men, and that being aware of this and taking preventative measures are no less sexist than women spreading awareness about rape and wanting to take precautions to protect themselves (because, as we all know, being concerned about rape does mean that all/most men are rapists). as such, I feel compelled to mention @Mee2 for the sake of cutting down on the frustration of some of the inevitable debates we will continue to get into.
 
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Good topic; I have seen (and even believe) that it seems like the women are blamed when they are raped by a man (always); nice to see support for the side of men…she points out that if a woman watches kids in a schoolyard, it’s not a big deal, but if a man does, it’s a huge deal.

Two things that I’d like to see come to light: that men be more accepted as valid caregivers, not just women; and that it be acknowledged that children have a sexuality…as she says, her little 7 month old kids would be sleeping with their hands in their nappies.Too much of society thinks that sexuality only develops much later but that is untrue.
 

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many of my points in gender-related discourse center of the fact that a significant number of women are just as evil and/or dangerous as men, and that being aware of this and taking preventative measures are no less sexist than women spreading awareness about rape and wanting to take precautions to protect themselves (because, as we all know, being concerned about rape does mean that all/most men are rapists). as such, I feel compelled to mention @Mee2 for the sake of cutting down on the frustration of some of the inevitable debates we will continue to get into.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
 
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