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Discussion Starter #1
So I've heard men have stronger sex drive than women, most men have watched porn at some point in life (or are still watching), they think about it more often and get turned on more easily. Is that true for you personally?

Also, what does sex mean to you? Casual fun or an expression of love and care?

I just asked because my bf finally confessed to me he has urges that he has to keep in check as a man, and he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it because society as a whole tends to look down at sexual urges. I'm just trying to understand better how he feels
 

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Actually women have a higher sex drive than men.


And I doubt men think about sex more often because our hormones fluctuate way more than women.

The part about the porn and getting turned on easily is due to the fact that men are more visual. We see some long legs on a woman or some cleavage, and we are aroused, but that is also changing as you will see in the video.

And as for your bf, just get it on with him. Why are you worried about what society thinks? It's between you two. Now it is a problem if his urges interferes with his daily life. Then he needs to channel into something such as exercising and pursuing his ambition - use it to become more charismatic. Also, just ask him about how he feels lol.
 
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The part about the porn and getting turned on easily is due to the fact that men are more visual. We see some long legs on a woman or some cleavage, and we are aroused, but that is also changing as you will see in the video.
Correction:
We are pervasively exposed to sexualized imagery without even asking for our consent.

In games, movies, advertising, women wearing sexualized clothes in public, etc.

I remember reading somewhere that women are as visual as men. Except that men usually don't feel need to wear gross sexualized clothes in public.

It's possible to block these mental attacks by seeing women as objects.

Ever since I stopped watching porn (for ethical reasons) and learned to block out sexualized imagery, I got much less obsessed with sex.

Before I could masturbate 2-3 times a day, sometimes more, to the point where it would be painful/would be losing precious bodily fluids, but now I often go for weeks without masturbation.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
The part about the porn and getting turned on easily is due to the fact that men are more visual. We see some long legs on a woman or some cleavage, and we are aroused, but that is also changing as you will see in the video.

And as for your bf, just get it on with him. Why are you worried about what society thinks? It's between you two. Now it is a problem if his urges interferes with his daily life. Then he needs to channel into something such as exercising and pursuing his ambition - use it to become more charismatic. Also, just ask him about how he feels lol.
Thanks for the insight!

Nah I'm not worried; he was the worried one. He was raised in a Christian culture where stuff like this is generally looked down upon, so he was very nervous telling me about it. I did ask how he feels, but it's nice getting insights from other males because since I'm not a man, I can only learn of things like this through others' experience and insights
 

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Here's a meta-analysis of many studies (100+) [PDF]:
Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive? Theoretical Views, Conceptual Distinctions, and a Review of Relevant Evidence

'The sex drive refers to the strength of sexual motivation. Across many different studies
and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual
desires than women
, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and
variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners,
masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating
versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures. No contrary
findings (indicating stronger sexual motivation among women) were found
. Hence we
conclude that the male sex drive is stronger than the female sex drive. The gender difference
in sex drive should not be generalized to other constructs such as sexual or orgasmic
capacity, enjoyment of sex, or extrinsically motivated sex.'
 

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@AngelWithAShotgun

I can give you experience from my male entj mind to rank amongst your own I’d assume males and females fantasize around the same amount just in different ways.

First sex to me is just the act and different than making love. I have far more desire to make love and am far more likely to take up an opportunity to do so. Sex I fantasize about far more often but am less inclined to act upon.

Having sex could be enjoyable and fun with almost any girl I find attractive, however for moral and trust reasons doing so doesn’t interest me. Rather sex is just another tool in the box to use in the process of making love.


Now what you really are curious about, how often do I fantasize, well porn isn’t really a thing for me but I’m rather active sexually, if I wasn’t that may change. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have fantasy. If you catch my eye and have invited with a hint of flirtation my mind will run free. I will know how I want you, where I want you, I’ll consider just what the texture of your inner cheek may feel like as my fingers trace the inside of your jaw. Depending on your personality I will have thought of us vanilla and beautiful tangled together on white bedsheets or of my hand making contact against your face, on your knees before my desk.

I’m an imaginative entj and I’d love to have the time to be an arthouse film director, if you’ve shown interest in being my actress I’ve already placed you into my favorite scenes.



Shit I’m getting coal this Christmas.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Here's a meta-analysis of many studies (100+) [PDF]:
Is There a Gender Difference in Strength of Sex Drive? Theoretical Views, Conceptual Distinctions, and a Review of Relevant Evidence

'The sex drive refers to the strength of sexual motivation. Across many different studies
and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual
desires than women
, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and
variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners,
masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating
versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures. No contrary
findings (indicating stronger sexual motivation among women) were found
. Hence we
conclude that the male sex drive is stronger than the female sex drive. The gender difference
in sex drive should not be generalized to other constructs such as sexual or orgasmic
capacity, enjoyment of sex, or extrinsically motivated sex.'
I'll check that out, but I'm mostly asking for personal experience. I've done my homework on the theoretical stuff; I'd like some practical, applicable insight from personal experience
 

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Every single time I see a woman I want to fuck IRL.

I don't very often do whole fantasy, scenario, and it might just be for a second, or even semi-subliminal, but if I see a woman's gorgeous face, a sexy line of her body, a shapely ass, a suggestive word.

Yeah, I'll be thinking about likely taking her up against the nearest wall and doing her from the front, from the back, and maybe take her down to the floor and finish inside her when I'm ready.

Pretty good thing I have excellent self-control, for the most part. I doubt my prison cellmate would have my winning touch.
 

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There was a study on this several years ago where they said that men also think about food and sleep more so it might be broader than that, thinking about physiological needs more.
BBC - Future - How often do men really think about sex?

Thanks for the insight!

Nah I'm not worried; he was the worried one. He was raised in a Christian culture where stuff like this is generally looked down upon, so he was very nervous telling me about it. I did ask how he feels, but it's nice getting insights from other males because since I'm not a man, I can only learn of things like this through others' experience and insights
Not wanting to think about something makes you think about it more.

I have some pretty pervy thoughts but I'm fairly comfortable with them and with not being too revealing. It makes me feel like some kind of renegade disguised as conventional and boring. :cool: (See response below..)

Every single time I see a woman I want to fuck IRL.

I don't very often do whole fantasy, scenario, and it might just be for a second, or even semi-subliminal, but if I see a woman's gorgeous face, a sexy line of her body, a shapely ass, a suggestive word.

Yeah, I'll be thinking about likely taking her up against the nearest wall and doing her from the front, from the back, and maybe take her down to the floor and finish inside her when I'm ready.

Pretty good thing I have excellent self-control, for the most part.
Haha. Pretty much this. I have a pretty active imagination. Yet, I have been told I seem asexual. Actually, who knows what people assume about me, because it doesn't come up much and it's not something I tend to bring up first. Somehow in my mind, this has been warped into a fantasy in itself, women who are horny over me and torturing themselves to restrain because they think I'm gay/uninterested. lol

With this topic in general though, I think thinking about sex vs fantasizing/actually wanting sex are different. I probably do as much of the former if not more so. For example I like sexual humor but it doesn't mean I'm turned on every time I hear a sex joke (I assume that's true for most people...)

How easily I get turned on is very individual. It has to be someone I'm attracted to. Like I'm not just going to be turned on because there's someone with a vagina nearby. (And a lot of women that are considered attractive, I'm not sexually attracted to either).

Overall I probably fall somewhere in between "casual fun" and "expressive love and care". Romantic/caring feelings increase my sexual desire for someone. Which means sex purely for physical pleasure is less interesting to me in comparison (not really something I pursue), but also that in a relationship I put a lot of importance on the sexual aspect. And being a T-user I probably also de-emphasize idealistic thinking, so there's that.
 

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Oh! Well, that video still might need a repeat! <borat>Very nice</borat>

Yeah, I'm not a psychologist, nor as well-read as a doctor or master's level psychologist in the field, but I truly doubt there are all that many differences, even cross-culturally, about the whole man-woman thing.

Yeah, sure, quirks, emotions, all that.

But that's all surface stuff.

Any way, I'm just a savage man with large appetites, so in other words, just a regular. Not the best subject for commentary, but that is what it is.
 

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Oh! Well, that video still might need a repeat! <borat>Very nice</borat>

Yeah, I'm not a psychologist, nor as well-read as a doctor or master's level psychologist in the field, but I truly doubt there are all that many differences, even cross-culturally, about the whole man-woman thing.

Yeah, sure, quirks, emotions, all that.

But that's all surface stuff.

Any way, I'm just a savage man with large appetites, so in other words, just a regular. Not the best subject for commentary, but that is what it is.
That video is part of a small series. Though tbh I posted that one because I thought it was more clever than some of the others (mannequin one is dumb, lol).

And yeah I agree. I don't think such differences in sex drive are as extreme as they're made out to be. And definitely not every 7 seconds extreme.
 

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I'll even go one further. Just talking about sex in a prosaic descriptive way, if I'm understanding the words, I'm hard in no time. Exceptionally hard.

And yet this is purely abstract -- I'm not imagining any particular person, nor any concrete acts. I could have beat off if I wanted to, but I could take it or leave it.

Yeah, I'll call that a kind of fantasy, although it's a linguistic, ideational fantasy, without any concrete correlates that I'm aware of.

Very powerful, and very interesting as a phenomenon.

I feel a bit like a shit for not admitting it to my female interlocutor, because I cannot allow myself to be dishonest except in cases of legitimate, practical exigency, but....well, I didn't for some reason, although that would have been fine, I'm sure.
 

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Every single time I talk to a woman who interests me. I'd rather not know what she looks like, or anything about her.

I don't think it's that unusual, but plain conversation on frank topics with a woman who is of an appropriate age for me can be extremely arousing, in the most literal sense.

I don't consider I need to admit or confess it, because to me it's not a personal relationship, it's entirely in my mind, and it's not anybody's business.

If asked, I would not lie, but I wouldn't risk hurting someone's feelings by offering this.

Either that, or I'm just a disgusting poonhound.

I don't care, that's the way it is.
 

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So I've heard men have stronger sex drive than women, most men have watched porn at some point in life (or are still watching), they think about it more often and get turned on more easily. Is that true for you personally?

Also, what does sex mean to you? Casual fun or an expression of love and care?

I just asked because my bf finally confessed to me he has urges that he has to keep in check as a man, and he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it because society as a whole tends to look down at sexual urges. I'm just trying to understand better how he feels
"Fantasize" sound more complicated that it usually is since scenarios mostly got old a LONG time ago. Sex occurs to me ever few hours usually now, sometimes every few minutes for hours. My libido is sentimentally charged, but that's not "nice", and I certainly wouldn't call it "an expression" of anything but horniness itself. The closest I think I could do to casual couldn't be casual. It'd be aggressive to say the least, which doesn't and can't socially work, which makes things more outright hostile. Mixing a dislike of people with arousal doesn't work well in the first place... I don't intend to go about anything outside a LTR as I don't think anything else would be satisfying or safe, and I'm jealous to the point of physical disgust, even retroactively. Physically, I'm picky, and that's increasing with age, as arousal weakens, so functional stimulation is far less accessible IRL, and increasingly problematic due to relative ages. Back when my blood was screaming, I might feel like mounting a chick or two when passing through a crowd. Technically, I'd also feel like eliminating most of the crowed, especially other males, too, if arousal occurred.

It very much occurs to me to mention I have never in my life had any impulse remotely consistent with what women call "the chase". Nothing about it is consistent with predation or my libido or any instincts I have regarding either hunting or sex. I'm not submissive and don't have a mood for kissing anyone's ass nor any taste for blue-balls. While I certainly have cuddling instincts, I never had the impulse for standing hugs (which would be bloody awkward and pointless with my preference for significantly smaller chicks), much less something as bizarre and constrained as hand-holding. Basically, an impulse sequence IRL starts with wanting to pick her up then eliminating rivals/obstacles then going somewhere private then fucking then cuddling then probably repeating a couple steps. The details are a bit more complicated and certain utterly unrealistic to unfeasible scenarios do occur to me, but complexity is generally bad and clunky.

And I doubt men think about sex more often because our hormones fluctuate way more than women.
So women get a drop of test every 28 days, while men get a gulp about every 20 minutes, and THIS convinces you that women likely have a higher libido?:dry: Tar drip vs running engine...:facepalm:
 

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Women don't need as much testosterone as men so comparing them on numbers is not correct. And additionally, other hormones like estrogen affect desire as well.
 

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I'm just trying to understand better how he feels
The best way to express and showcase this understanding is through accommodation. In other words, don't be so quick to outright dismiss ideas such as "topless Tuesdays"; at least give it an honest go around first.

I'd also feel like eliminating most of the crowed, especially other males
Whew. I feel a lot less guilty now for always thinking that you looked like a SK. People seriously don't give you enough credit for the various ways that you've repeatedly showcased your self-control and restraint.
 

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Definitely a handful of times per day, more or less. But it's not constant or every 7 seconds or whatever. Really hinges on lots of things, like how much food I am eating (especially meat, which I believe increases my libido), when I last *released*, what mood I am in. When I am out around town and see lots of women I think about it a lot more. I probably think about it less intensely fairly often, such as not imagining a full blown fantasy but a casual and immediate mental acknowledgement of which women I see who I'd like to have sex with. As I live in a college town where there are LOTS of women aged 18-30 there is plentiful eye candy, the thoughts come easily.
 
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