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I was just wondering how many of you 4's out there have some kind of mental illness and how you figure that plays into the health levels associated with 4. I have severe Bipolar I with anxiety and when it's under control I'm a very healthy 4, but if it's out of control I can descend into level 9 overnight. I have some confusion as part of my bipolar when it's acting up, which also contributes to me making poor choices. I feel kind of hypocritical saying I'm usually a "healthy 4" when I sometimes do descend back into the low levels due to my bipolar. Fortunately once my meds are adjusted properly I'm back to being pretty healthy. I also find therapy pretty helpful.
 

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Have suffered from depression (but this was caused by the circumstances, so not really a mental illness).
I have ADHD, though that's not a mental illness either.
 
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Hello.
I had some depressions in the past, and short attention spam too.
I also have suffered with anxiety and it lead me to psychosomatic ills... At that time I was very social phobic and It was by that time that i discovered enneagram.
 

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I've had depression since my early teens. I'm pretty moody. I was diagnosed with bipolar I during a rough period in February, but believe that it was a misdiagnosis. It's hard to know as I have episodes like that a few times a year and around the same times too, but I don't think it's just a matter of fitting the criteria. I have some Bipolar I friends and I can see huge differences in how our 'manic' episodes look. I have food allergies and I have to be careful with what I eat or it can just make me really impulsive and reactive. I can have uncontrollable, self-destructive behavior because of it. It's insane for some of us how much the things we eat can affect aspects of ourselves we'd never expect.

I feel kind of hypocritical saying I'm usually a "healthy 4" when I sometimes do descend back into the low levels due to my bipolar.
I know what you mean. I feel like I can seem really healthy and believe it myself. I will be connecting with friends in a really genuine and loving way and then I'll be doing really unhealthy things that I turn a blind eye to and don't acknowledge myself until maybe a few weeks of doing it. I can really feel like I'm in the top levels of type 4, but then before I know it have made a trap for myself. I come home to an empty room and start doing things that are considered unhealthy. The desire is definitely there to be healthy though, but I can't always sustain it when I'm alone.
 

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I have MDD (this could possibly be Bipolar II), ADHD, and Anxiety, but I have these disorders generally under control. However when things become chaotic in my life, and when I don't have control, I go into my unhealthy states.
 

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@sleeper, bipolar often goes in cycles, corresponds with seasons. It's pretty rare to be bipolar and not have SAD. Fortunately I live in a place with lots of winter sun but it still really affects me. Maybe it's more bipolar 2 than 1, if you're bipolar? Because I feel like I'm really different than most bipolar people too, I'm mainly depressed and my hypomania usually manifests as irritability, like everyone is dragging their fingers across chalkboards. I just feel really on edge and intense.

My daughter is allergic to gluten and when she eats it she gets really emotionally volatile, starts crying about how we hate her and how she hates herself. but now that she-and we- know the cause, it helps. But it's still scary, especially since I'm bipolar so I know it's in her genes. I've cut down my gluten intake too but my biggest obstacle is giving up beer.

Just like @unico and you have said, I will be doing awesome and then the next day I wake up and all of that feels erased. It sucks.
 

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I also feel 'phony' sometimes when considering my healthier levels because I never seem to stay in one zone for too long. I have chronic depression (although I don't think mine is an illness as much as a disorder) and sometimes I'll feel so much better that maybe a part of me clings on to those feelings to convince myself I'm out of it. And I'm still scared a lot of the times because of my intrinsic fluctuating nature. I'll start to descend sometimes without realizing and catching myself. I strive to be healthy by all means but I never know if it's really 'me' becoming healthier or just feeling healthier. I think there is a difference in that regard for me. I'm still figuring things out
 

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I had anorexia in my late teenage years /early adulthood, but have now recovered. I struggled with mild depression for many years, but that seems to have improved with time (and therapy). I tend to be fairly healthy and resilient now...although because I am sensitive, like so many 4s, I think I am a little bit more suceptible to stress than the average person.
 

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I've had a severe eating disorder for over 12 years now (I'm 27), depression since I was about 11/12, significant OCD-type issues since pretty much as long as I can remember (my earliest memories of "rituals" are from when I was about three, though I've never actually been diagnosed with OCD -- probably because I've never told anyone about it), moderate to severe anxiety and panic issues, borderline personality disorder... yeah, fun times. [/sarcasm] Oh, and my therapist thinks I should consider being evaluated for adult ADD.

I couldn't honestly say that I've ever been fully mentally healthy at any point in my life thus far, so that undoubtedly plays a role in my (very low) level of health as a Type Four.
 

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I've suffered from depression, and have also been diagnosed with AvPD. The diagnosis is a bit shaky, though, and I'll be seeing another psychiatrist next month regarding the issue. There's still a lot of anxiety and mild social phobia, among many other things. I've always seen myself as a relatively healthy Four, but lately the levels have started to descend with my increasing anxiety and other problems. Currently I'm borderlining between bottom average and unhealthy.
 
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I have suffered from clinical depression on and off ever since my teenage years, with the worst bouts having been in the past couple of years. Currently I'm alright-- not completely out of it but not dealing with the brunt of it either. I do also have occasional anxiety issues that had never surfaced until recently, but I think that's more circumstantial than anything else.

My health levels obviously fluctuate according to whether or not I am depressed. When I'm in a good state of mind, I'm actually generally a pretty healthy four. But that can plummet very easily. It also plummets when I'm really stressed out or dealing with a lot of difficult things.
 

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Been diagnosed as bipolar II, depression, add, anxiety, but I am learning that the more I just let myself be me and act crazy when I need to, it helps. Also 4s...or anyone really...don't bother up emotions! I am feeling pretty healthy right now, but that could change quickly.
 

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I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but generally, that's a pretty uncommon mental illness. Well I'm not even sure if it's uncommon, or still just really really really unknown and still being introduced in a way of sorts, but the description fits me to a T. I've also been diagnosed with Major Depression, but that was before Borderline which is often misdiagnosed as Major Depression.
 

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I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but generally, that's a pretty uncommon mental illness. Well I'm not even sure if it's uncommon, or still just really really really unknown and still being introduced in a way of sorts, but the description fits me to a T. I've also been diagnosed with Major Depression, but that was before Borderline which is often misdiagnosed as Major Depression.
Same here, I haven't been diagnosed yet and I really don't plan to but there's a really high probablilty that I have it, sadly. I did a lot of research on the argument and found out that I share a lot of unhealthy behaviours with BPDers, the only real exception I think it's self harming. I'd rather stay in my own dreadful and painful world and bleed inside rather than harming my own body. Last year I even suffered from depression, it was terrible.
Thankfully I'm a little bit healthier now than last year. Last year I was at level 8/9, I think... now I guess I fluctuate between 5 and 7.
 

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I was just wondering how many of you 4's out there have some kind of mental illness and how you figure that plays into the health levels associated with 4. I have severe Bipolar I with anxiety and when it's under control I'm a very healthy 4, but if it's out of control I can descend into level 9 overnight. I have some confusion as part of my bipolar when it's acting up, which also contributes to me making poor choices. I feel kind of hypocritical saying I'm usually a "healthy 4" when I sometimes do descend back into the low levels due to my bipolar. Fortunately once my meds are adjusted properly I'm back to being pretty healthy. I also find therapy pretty helpful.
Mental illness is notoriously under reported, and a lot of people who need help do not seek it, so kudos to you for being brave enough to get and work with therapy. We had free sessions in college, which I tried, and I felt were too personally invasive. I had trouble letting in a therapist - felt misunderstood and like they were judging / not on my side. Mental illness is real, but some mental illness / depression is caused by our uniqueness and lack of submission to societal norms. Some people diagnose things as mentally ill or unstable when they are simply different. People sometimes think your unique views and differences in opinion are threatening, and try to dismiss them as mental illness. Sorry, I'm kind of off topic, but Albert Camus (who I think was a 4) described this sort of otherness...
 

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Same here, I haven't been diagnosed yet and I really don't plan to but there's a really high probablilty that I have it, sadly. I did a lot of research on the argument and found out that I share a lot of unhealthy behaviours with BPDers, the only real exception I think it's self harming. I'd rather stay in my own dreadful and painful world and bleed inside rather than harming my own body. Last year I even suffered from depression, it was terrible.
Thankfully I'm a little bit healthier now than last year. Last year I was at level 8/9, I think... now I guess I fluctuate between 5 and 7.
If it's of any comfort, I think many sexual variants, especially Fours, could easily go to a place where they fit criteria for borderline when unhealthy.
 

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Story of my life. I have Bipolar Disorder 2, ADD, Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and Addictive Personality. I actually have multiply mental and medical illnesses.
 

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Hello! I'm new here. 4w3. The first time I remember "suicidal ideations" was age 11, but my family was going through a tough time then. It's returned now and again over the years, most often triggered by external pressures I feel incapable of managing or too tired to manage, more like. I have been diagnosed PTSD and chronically depressed, but I ignore their diagnoses because what's normal for me is not normal for most people (maybe except other Fours?) And I know I have too much love for my mom and my daughter to actually do it, and I never tell anyone in my real life how dark things have gotten inside me because it would alarm them.

Reading threads here, I realize how common this is for us. I am frankly relieved to discover that my lifelong suspicion that this wildly fluctuating mood cycling is "normal" for my "tribe." Yay! I'm not a freak!
 
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