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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Now I`m not sure how many friend and/or family you have that suffer mentally/emotionally but I am sure that you try to help them get over there problems, because your not a prick and you actually care for this person/s.

I thought to build this thread for the sake of:
hearing the experiences of those who are/were helping someone.
For people to ask for tips on how to better help someone.
And also for people to help others directly.

For those who don`t understand what I`m talking about I`ll use a simple example.
If a friend of your`s house burnt down, although it would be fun and justifiable to find the pyromaniac and bludgeon him repeatedly or worse, you can't always be the hero.
What about your friend`s house ? wouldn't you help with the repairs or help financially ? Maybe a bad example, the mind does't have insurance.

So, I`m curious to know your experiences and questions !
 

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I think the best way is to try and survey the situation as obiectively as possible, and combining that with direct input from the friend in need.
Everyone requires different forms of help and how one person responds to aid will differ from individual to individual.

For the example you used, ask your friend. Do they WANT the pyromaniac to be bludgeoned to death, brought to justice? Or would it be an unreasonable witch hunt that would rather avoid?
Sometimes people band together to help someone, and while they have good intentions TOO much help can also be bad thing. Just as with everything, it has to be in moderation.
Too little can make someone feel unloved, and too much can cause them to feel pitied.

Take time to judge the situation, the person, their needs, personality and what they say they need, ans go from there.

Of course, if they refuse for any form of help, the best thing you can sometimes do is just simply know you'll be available for support/listen to them if they ever need someone to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
A fair thought, you can't really help the person unless you understand the circumstances !

I think it`s time for me to ad a little for the viewers.
My experience is a little disturbing so those who believe ignorance is bliss feel free to look away...
So, I know two little kids the older one is 8 the other 4, they`r good kids ! But there environment is messed up. there mother is trying to minimise the time they have with there father, I don`t know the whole thing with the court but my focus was the kids.
I remember the older one telling me about his father and uncles playing touch-tag in the shower with him, yes he has been abused (luckily not his little brother), His mind has been flayed and I`m not experienced with mental repair, I did my best and I wish it was good enough. What I did was be a friend, teach him about using his mind to solve problems, tell him what is seriously NOT socially excepted (which is harder then it sounds) and try not to make a mistake, which is really hard because he was testing me, I kid you not, he was testing Me ! It`s probable that he has this theory that "men are all the same", which is probable because he didn't have any good roll-modals and he doesn't associate with other boys (excluding his brother), and then I come along and damage his theory ! the two of them never left me alone, I walk out of the room, they walk out of the room, I go into my room and lock all the doors, they unlock the doors and walk in anyway !!! I still think I could have repaired his mind but then his mother moved back to her parents place, so now I can`t win, I can`t repair his mind. And I know she can`t repair his mind because I had alot of work to do. (there are more reasons why but I don't have the time)

Each time I remember this case it drives nails through my mind, knowing that I can never win.
 
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