[nightowl]

Hello,

It seems that recently a person that i have become friendly with at a place i hang out and have coffee with recently said he has some mental issues. What i mean by that by his own words he stated, "several years back he lost it." Was also said by own person mouth that he is own meds. Several times speaking to him he has this glazed stare and just looks at you keeping his eyes fixed on you. Many times i have directly said something to him while he was is in stare mode and he has been quiet for a few seconds then i have to ask 'again" which snaps him out of it. Some things/question he has asked have been very random.....out there during talks.

I am not trying to put down someone that has had these sorts of mental issues but these behaviors are becoming more apparent. I dont mind being friendly ( which is different from me considering him a friend).

Anyone else has similar incidents happen to them??

 

[Yardiff Bey]

Not personally.

I myself try to stay away from people who are on mood-altering (or mind-altering) medications. I'm always wary that something might go wrong with the meds. Happened with my ex-wife's father.

 

[nightowl]

Not personally.

I myself try to stay away from people who are on mood-altering (or mind-altering) medications. I'm always wary that something might go wrong with the meds. Happened with my ex-wife's father.

That is my concern, some of his questions have been a bit prying into my life. I know when and how much to information to say and what not to say. Again trying to civil, things seem off with this guy.

 

[Yardiff Bey]

That is my concern, some of his questions have been a bit prying into my life. I know when and how much to information to say and what not to say. Again trying to civil, things seem off with this guy.

*nod* If it's off, it's off. Heed that warning voice and back away from him as a friend - leave him as a distant acquaintance, nothing more.

From what you've said you don't owe the guy anything. And lets be honest, it's not your business to be trying to keep someone you barely know on an even keel. Heartless as it sounds, leave that to the experts who are monitoring him and his medication. They're the pro's.

 

[nightowl]

*nod* If it's off, it's off. Heed that warning voice and back away from him as a friend - leave him as a distant acquaintance, nothing more.

From what you've said you don't owe the guy anything. And lets be honest, it's not your business to be trying to keep someone you barely know on an even keel. Heartless as it sounds, leave that to the experts who are monitoring him and his medication. They're the pro's.

True, i do plan to do the distant acquaintance with this guy. Lol...not going to stop me from going there to have coffee and such. I do understand i dont owe him anything and if need be if i have to a can put him a whirlpool of words which he really gets nothing out of it.

 

[Holgrave]

I myself try to stay away from people who are on mood-altering (or mind-altering) medications. I'm always wary that something might go wrong with the meds.

That seems kind of discriminatory. Most people on psych meds are not violent. And, most of the time, I'd say they're over medicated instead of under medicated (in which case, they're likely to be even more docile).

 

[littledeer]

That seems kind of discriminatory. Most people on psych meds are not violent. And, most of the time, I'd say they're over medicated instead of under medicated (in which case, they're likely to be even more docile).

QFT. It's been my experience as well that when someone on psychotropic drugs is acting strange it's usually due to one of three situations: they are taking too much, something else they are taking is interacting with the drug in a bad way, or they have just switched medications.

The kindest thing you can do is to inform this person that they should see their doctor. I've had to do this several times and usually it goes over well if you show genuine concern. Sometimes the person doesn't have the money to see the doctor and this opens another can of worms.

He's probably not going to get violent in public. If he does, there will be other people around to help.

I'd continue to be friendly. People with psychiatric problems need acceptance. Many of these people have been rejected time after time and it feeds into their illness. This doesn't mean that you should put yourself in harm's way and you should definitely set some boundaries. If he's asking prying questions or starting to get out of control, tell him to back off or leave if necessary.

 

[PinkHippo]

QFT. It's been my experience as well that when someone on psychotropic drugs is acting strange it's usually due to one of three situations: they are taking too much, something else they are taking is interacting with the drug in a bad way, or they have just switched medications.

This ^^, as littledeer said. However, something being wrong with their medication can be a constant state depending on what disorders they do have. Growing up I had a friend who was bi-polar. The problem being when she would hit her manic or "high" phase in her cycle she'd stop taking her medication, stop going to various therapy sessions, because she didn't feel she needed to and if she didn't want to go/take them, there was no way you could make her. Additionally, she would ignore requests and appointments made through her doctor at this time too. This made her "crash" or depression side of this cycle extremely hard. Not only was she crashing as part of her cycle, she was having to deal with medication imbalances too. She never did get things regulated and/or figured out.

Despite it being discriminatory, I personally would keep things as acquaintances but do still be friendly. In other words don't give him the cold shoulder. One thing I've had to learn as an ISJT is to trust my intuition, it isn't always 100% right but usually when warning flags are waving there's a good reason. JMHO.

 

[Holgrave]

She never did get things regulated and/or figured out.

Despite it being discriminatory, I personally would keep things as acquaintances but do still be friendly. In other words don't give him the cold shoulder. One thing I've had to learn as an ISTJ is to trust my intuition, it isn't always 100% right but usually when warning flags are waving there's a good reason.

It's particularly hard to for some people to continue taking medication. I think there's some sort of cognitive dissonance because many people feel like they're better, so why take the medication. But they need to understand that just because you're not having symptoms anymore, doesn't mean you're cured.

I'm not saying that you should become best buddies with him, but you have to realize that he's been dealing with this for several years, so he's probably become a social outcast. He may not realize that what he's doing & saying is unnerving. Just something to keep in mind.

 

[LeelaWho]

Many times i have directly said something to him while he was is in stare mode and he has been quiet for a few seconds then i have to ask 'again" which snaps him out of it. Some things/question he has asked have been very random.....out there during talks.

if this is the only thing about his behavior that's bothering you, then I think you're being picky. :dry:

My best friend has narcolepsy. She does this ALL the time and can't control it. It's unbelievable how rude people are to her. They'll yell her name, act like she purposely ignored them, treat her like she's stupid, etc.

I'm not telling you to be bosom buddies, but repeating a question is such a minor thing to be complaining about when compared to the frustration of phasing out, not remembering the last thing people said, having misunderstanding people be constantly rude to you, not realizing that you've changed topics, etc.

Not trying to sound mean, but I've met a LOTS of people like you who bolt for the hills when they see this happen. My friend barely talks about her narcolepsy now because so many people refuse to get out of their comfort zone.

 

[nightowl]

I have not been mean to this person yet. It has just been recently that these things this person does is coming more to light.

Isn't everyone picky?

 

[Holgrave]

I have not been mean to this person yet. It has just been recently that these things this person does is coming more to light.

Isn't everyone picky?

Bolded part that disturbs me.

Picky? Yes. Discriminate because of something someone can't control? No.

 

[Yardiff Bey]

I'm finding it interesting the differing viewpoint from the male and female sides.

I wonder what would be said if @nightowl had said that the guy was "creepy".

 

[nightowl]

The bolded yet will be outside looking at you with its "creepy" eyes!

 

[Holgrave]

I wonder what would be said if @nightowl had said that the guy was "creepy".

There are degrees of creepiness. Is this guy consistently creepy or sporadically? I do creepy things sometimes. Example: When stressed I'll talk out loud to myself... even in public. Is it creepy? Definitely. Can I control it? No. Have I tried? Yes. Does it push people away? I can't say for sure, but it probably does. Anyways, point is, we all have quirks, some of them creepier than others. But it sounds as if nightowl has already made his choice, so it's a moot point anyways. I wouldn't call anything that he did creepy. Only thing slightly creepy is asking those questions, but nightowl could've told him it made him uncomfortable and declined to answer.

Honestly, I would take it as a compliment that the guy told you that stuff about him. He obviously trusts you with that knowledge. It's not an easy thing to admit to someone.

 

[nightowl]

There are choices, they will be made when the time comes and what is this about "sound" I don't hear gongs ringing! At time people may say things just to get reactions and play with a person.

 

[Holgrave]

At time people may say things just to get reactions and play with a person.

Exactly.

10char

 

[LeelaWho]

I have not been mean to this person yet. It has just been recently that these things this person does is coming more to light.

Isn't everyone picky?

No. Not everyone is picky.

I'm finding it interesting the differing viewpoint from the male and female sides.

I wonder what would be said if @nightowl had said that the guy was "creepy".

This is a little low isn't it?

Women can be just as creepy as men. No one's suggested otherwise.

Phasing out isn't "creepy". And women's general abuse and over-use of that word is a whole nother topic.

 

[Yardiff Bey]

This is a little low isn't it?

Interesting.

 

[niss]

Be an emotionally safe person. Maintain boundaries. If you are uncomfortable with answering a question, don't mince words - come right out and say that you are uncomfortable answering the question.

I've been in many weird situations. Those that involve people with mental issues or that have med problems (self-induced or otherwise) can get really strange very rapidly. I've even had them turn dangerous. Be careful.

@Niccolo Machiavelli