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I was depressed for a long stretch of my life, I was dysthymic, which was a low level chronic state of depression that lasted many years (decades). I'm feeling good now, which is a funny word to use for it, because what a return to health meant to me was that the feeling of both the good and the bad were unbearably intense. It also meant that much of who I thought I was changed as well, which is a kind of exciting, disturbing and worrying ride.

I want to hear of others who had related experiences, and their circumstances where they essentially became new people.

Changes:
  • Learning to deal with strong unfiltered emotions. People, songs, TV shows, situations would bring things up that I wasn't used to. You know, feeeelings.
  • I no longer could relate and interact with people who had been in my life for a long time in the same way. My relationships changed drastically and sometimes ended.
  • I don't quite identify with my old self, my old interests and opinions. I didn't feel like me anymore, but simultaneously I started remembering being a kid again. I guess it was a return to a 'natural' self.
  • New behavior patterns developed, some good some bad, all needing to be evaluated. That can be tiring.
  • There's a type of anxiety introduced, I felt like I was essentially starting over again, like I was sent back to 'Go'.
  • Having to decide very simple things from scratch, like what my opinion is. It's exciting to have that power.
  • My face hurt for a couple months, from smiling and frowning and generally making faces. I was way less expressive before.
  • I lost a large amount of weight, which strangely made me feel more unsubstantial until I got used to it.
  • So many new areas of life to make mistakes in, and very occasionally succeed. I think for most people, being a certain age, you've already established your comfort zones and stay within them and feel somewhat accomplished. But when forced out of them, you realize how much you fell on your ass to get there, and don't relish the prospect of doing it again. But what other choice is there?
 
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