Missinterpretations of ENFPs!

I smoke weed occasionally, which is not really a vice, and my friend told me that to any person off the street they'd never get that vibe from me, lol.

I suppose sometimes I can be mistaken for an idiot because of my childlike enthusiasm, but they're usually somewhat surprised to see I'm not.

Or, I'll appear distant (could be mood, situation, circumstances, etc), and then people will be surprised to see later that I'm very warm and outgoing.

Eh, depends.

At this current moment in time I don't really care much for anything. I should shower.

That I don't 'care' ...because I am laid back, rarely stressed, and often in my own head..I am actually a very hard worker, and a closet perfectionist, but it doesnt show because I am so cool and collected. I am almost always positive, happy, singing or encouraging others.
I have been accused of being disrespectful...because I am late often(I am working on this, it is a life long struggle), or in my own world or doodling...I have also been accused of having ADD.....

Nothing could be further from the truth..I care often too much, and I respect everyone..no matter their station in life

I think we are misunderstood sometimes by close minded people who don't take the time to understand us.

I guess I have a hard time with that because I seek to understand everyone.

Anyway..babbling, but thanks for starting the thread...I can relate. *sigh*

It seems like to me that, for some reason, most of the J's I know just assumed I was a J too. I mean I can see why. I'm always on time (or just fashionably late in Latin America) because I know waiting annoys some people, I dress "well" (I don't think so... I'm more budget "business casual"), and I'm good enough at improvising that it probably looks like I'm organized and prepared for everything.

Well, that was all before my intuition commanded me to grow a beard. Why does it work like that? :tongue:

Depends on what they see me doing more often, people can misinterpret me in two ways. 1 - that I'm immature. If they see me trying to deal with my own issues, they see a very confused, impulsive person. 2 - that I'm extremely level-headed and cool. If I'm dealing with others' issues, I'm ridiculously objective (to a flaw, really) and rational.

Both are wrong, obviously, because I'm somewhere in the middle. The second scenario is more interesting, though, because when another person is upset, I try to analyse their issues and offer a nice, logical solution, and all they need is a hug. >.< I'm learning to stop being reasonable and becoming sympathetically subjective. For example, when my friend was going through a break up, I tried to actually figure out why it hadn't worked out, and all she wanted to hear was that he was an idiot. :/

I can be subjective too, though... Dunno, really, I confuse myself. >.>

I can even be subjective and objective at the same time. In my current relationship, I'm objective towards my own behaviour in that I know I'm not a nice person. I am, however, subjective towards his in that I always imagine he has some good reason for being so irritating. I always end up blaming myself and apologising to him.

It's so cool! roud:

Back to the subject, though..

I usually make a very ENFP-ish first impression, as I'm the poster child for ENFP when in the right mood. And when I meet new people, I usually am in said mood. But I can fall into these self-analytical conditions, where I'm mean and disrespectful towards just about anyone. So I make all kinds of wrong impressions...

I have a very hard time evaluating just what people think of me, but usually, when I'm underestimated, I blame it on subtle misogyny before I blame it on me being interpreted as silly or flaky. I do seem to end up surprising people all the time with things I say and think (usually getting laughs), but that seems to drift out into respect over time.

I probably do come off as absolutely odd to strangers, though. Off-putting behavior saved with a warm sympathetic smile.

Really, I just don't know...

Oh I'm totally a teaser and I say some pretty gross stuff especially around SJ women and all my guy friends. Never let an SJ woman make you think they don't appreciate dirty jokes, they find them funnier then even we do, and yes that is in the scientific Jungian literature about SJ types.

You boys out here that like an SJ girl would do good to remember what I said.

yeah, I've gotten dumb, fake, shallow. I'm not of these things though.

The dumb part comes from the fact that I speak before I think sometimes, or think out loud.

The fake part comes because I'm actually really nice and welcoming, moreso than most, so other people who meet me think I am being fake.

The shallow part comes from a running joke I have about being a golddigger. I've just learned that more than one person takes me serious about it :mellow:

I get mistaken for being gay a lot, and the other big misconception being that I'm a hardcore party animal, because I'm so energetic and outgoing, and also very empathetic, I can emotionally and physically burn out... so I need some time and space to be real with myself about stuff I need to do for me!

I was at a D&D [yeah, D&D of all thigns] thing the other day with another one of my ENFP friends, and she was feeling very out of it [one of those needed to retreat into her Fi for a bit today because someone messed with her value system big time the night before kind of days

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I thought I was on my own when I did that....and it was just an off day....Man im learning some stuff on here...Thanks Ish

Pie x roud:

People have called me "flighty" before... but it's not the kind of flighty they were implying. They thought I was "flighty" as a way of life... but I'm not. I value security and stability very highly and lack ability to function without them. "Flighty" is my reaction to things, not my home base. I become flighty when I feel that things in my life are no longer in my control. I tend to test the people in my life, as if to gauge their loyalties, when things get hard... and if the response isn't what I necessarily expected to hear, I get antsy.

Basically, I live my whole life tensed up and braced for impact. But that may be more of a counterphobic 6 enneatype thing than an ENFP thing. Moral of the story: I'm not flighty!

Also, like everyone else, people think I'm a complete idiot. I actually know way more about things than I let on... I let the "stupid" facade stick, though. It's easier to figure people out when their guard is down, which it will be if they think you're not intelligent enough to understand them.

Hey Ish,

Ive been thinking about what you said about your friend retreating into her Fi ....To begin with, it really was just an obversation, but on reflection, it's one my major bug bears that I 'just live with'.....But i really want to know more about it....

If you get a chance or the whim to elobrate on that, I would love to hear your thoughts

Pie x

BassClef said:

I've gotten lots of analytical and logical - a lot of it is due to working in an engineering heavy job and I know what they want to hear.

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Oh, I do this. I have this reverse babel fish that changes all my Ne/Fi work to thinking and sensing words to deliver to the rest of the world.

Part of the reason I love PerC so much is that I get the chance to shed that fish and converse on here in my native tongue.