[marzipan01]

I just figured since you all seemed so insightful if you guys could give me some insight on this situation. I am sort of dating this ENFJ guy and as much as I like him and all it seems to me that after reading all this stuff that ENFJs say about how they view ENFPs (my type) as flaky (i.e. not returning calls, not attending, disorganized about where they will be), it makes me feel like my ENFJ guy doesn't really like me considering that he finds it to be such a hassle to answer the phone when he's out doing something. He told me that I think too much and that it's stressful to have to answer the phone when I call because I talk too much. Maybe I do talk too much but doesn't it seem like he doesn't really like me that much if he winces when the phone rings?

 

[Jojo]

Not to worry....We are very forgiving! The good news is he said you overthink that means you are ok and relax. It may also mean loosen up.I can't tell for sure because of limited information it may also mean he feels you don't trust him and you are keeping tabs on him. If he avoids you intentionally then that IS a bad sign. Just tell him how you feel about him and maybe do something spontaneous for or with him.

 

[marzipan01]

Jojo, you sound like a horoscope. :happy: Such sage advice. He's told me I'm crazy and an enigma. I know I'm not keeping tabs on him he just feels reluctant to talk to me because I talk too much. He says I think too much because I feel the need to fill him in on epiphanies I have throughout the day. And yes, I do question everything to the point where I don't get anything done. I do think too much. Sigh. Alas, this all comes back to the question of whether our two types can co-exist in harmony. I was just browsing through the forum and read all these negative complaints about how ENFPs look at everything wrong and how our type is just insane. It doesn't help when your boyfriend says the same thing and when other INFJ family members say it, too. How can I defend my personality? That's like the only thing we as human beings can truly say that we only have slight control over. Really the ENFP thing I don't have control over it. It's how I am. Something bugs me and it comes out in these statements about trends in life and makes me search for what the heck is going on. It's what I do. And asking me to reflect on it only makes it worse. Grrr. :crazy:

 

[marzipan01]

Jojo, I was thinking about what you said in the what ENFJs are looking for in a partner section. I feel that way about wanting someone who is a "partner in crime." And it brings me back to the compatibility issue. Even if ENFJs and ENFPs can date perfectly fine with lots of work in the relationship if it requires so much work can you really have a partner in crime? But then I have dated another ENFJ who we got along great. We liked doing similar things and we are still good friends. But after reading all this negative stuff about my type I feel like the only type that could possibly get me is a fellow ENFP but I just can't stand them. Lol. Mostly it's like pinkrasputin said in another thread that ENFPs compete when they're in public for who is going to be the ENFP of the group.

 

[Jojo]

Jojo, you sound like a horoscope. :happy: Such sage advice. He's told me I'm crazy and an enigma. I know I'm not keeping tabs on him he just feels reluctant to talk to me because I talk too much. He says I think too much because I feel the need to fill him in on epiphanies I have throughout the day. And yes, I do question everything to the point where I don't get anything done. I do think too much. Sigh. Alas, this all comes back to the question of whether our two types can co-exist in harmony. I was just browsing through the forum and read all these negative complaints about how ENFPs look at everything wrong and how our type is just insane. It doesn't help when your boyfriend says the same thing and when other INFJ family members say it, too. How can I defend my personality? That's like the only thing we as human beings can truly say that we only have slight control over. Really the ENFP thing I don't have control over it. It's how I am. Something bugs me and it comes out in these statements about trends in life and makes me search for what the heck is going on. It's what I do. And asking me to reflect on it only makes it worse. Grrr. :crazy:

Just call me Mr.Fortune Cookie... I say you can't defend your personality type but rather accept your personality type. Acknowledge your types weakness focus on its strengths. I posted in another topic that when you trying to sell an idea it's important to its weakness too! Don't sweat the small stuff... Oh and your lucky numbers today are: 7,13, 26,32,38, 42

 

[Jojo]

Jojo, I was thinking about what you said in the what ENFJs are looking for in a partner section. I feel that way about wanting someone who is a "partner in crime." And it brings me back to the compatibility issue. Even if ENFJs and ENFPs can date perfectly fine with lots of work in the relationship if it requires so much work can you really have a partner in crime? But then I have dated another ENFJ who we got along great. We liked doing similar things and we are still good friends. But after reading all this negative stuff about my type I feel like the only type that could possibly get me is a fellow ENFP but I just can't stand them. Lol. Mostly it's like pinkrasputin said in another thread that ENFPs compete when they're in public for who is going to be the ENFP of the group.

Marzipan,
Work on a relationship should be a good thing if the relationship is worth it. If he makes you better and you have more good days than bad then thats healthy. If you are working hard and getting nothing out of the relationship Do not pass Go do not collect $200 Run like hell!
My Partner in Crime is they should compliment you where you are weak they may be strong. I can't but think that the new Green Hornet movie is my example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yo3eI-03OtU
The Green Hornet and Kato are just soooooo different but one heck of a team!

 

[lastholidayhere]

I hate answering the phone when I am out and about with friends. I know this annoys the callers but I feel like I need to give my full attention to those I'm with especially if it will be a long phone call. It doesn't mean that I don't care about the caller its just me prioritizing social interactions...these things are hard for an ENFJ! :crazy: