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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I have a confession. I think I've been underusing my Fi.

It's nothing huge, but I can sense deep inside I've been a little off-kilter these past few years. I've become so objective/goal oriented, trying to structure my life. You can see it in my posts, my Te has become more pervasive in my functionality.

To a certain extent that is normal for my "stage of development", I think I'm at that young adult stage, where it's normal for Te to punch its way through.. However, I remember in my late-teens when my Te was in its juvency, my Fi was fairly dominant, now I'm 26 my Te is solid, but something has had to give to make that happen..

My Fi is still there, but I remember when it would really connect with something, I would feel SO invigorated and empowered- I rarely get that anymore, and I can feel that even though my Te is helping me achieve my goals, it's gotten to that point where it's tipping a little bit too far. Even if this is a stage in my life that requires pragmatism and planning, I'm giving up just that 10% too much where my Fi feels like it's being put in the shade. I need to get some balance back.



So in this interest- I would like to make a special request for some examples of situations/experiences, big or small, where your Fi has fired and connected on all cylinders, and generally kicked some ASS :perc3:

Dig deep in your pockets people, I need some extra inspiration right now
 

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I definitely want to take a stab at your question. I had two or three thoughts. First I want to relate to your experience, because I do. Second I want to talk about the process of learning an expertise. Last I want to talk about what some people would call "psychic" experiences.
I did have to re-claim my Fi with a new job and new culture. In my current job my people skills with my co-workers are key, in my last job efficiency and system analysis was what was needed more. I was very lonely in my last job as manager and I was starting to not like myself or my interactions with people as much-- in fact, I was having all these dreams about hanging out with the "mean girls" in high school lol. You know it's bad when your dreams take you back to Jr. High. I am quite happy with myself and my friendships right now, but this was all a learning experience, reclaiming Fi. The efficiency part of me was screaming when I first got to this job-- it still screams sometimes... I'm starting to realize that you all must be getting to know me too well! lol!
A while back I read a description of the process of becoming an expert on something. This is definitely up your alley, I'd say. You might already know all about it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreyfus_model_of_skill_acquisition
I know my Ne and Fi and Te all work together on the one thing I am an expert on. Probably Si as well, but I can barely perceive my Si.
Anyway, when I get counseling people, and yes, for me it's diet counseling/teaching and there's this amazing flow. I know what I'm looking for and when there are discrepancies it opens a whole different area of questions and it just flows. I few questions and I can get in deep. I figure that each type must use all their primary and auxiliary functions when they do something they are an expert at.

Are you guys sick of hearing about my job and life yet? Can I tell you another? Last evening I knew my patient was going to die if I didn't get my care team on my same page. I knew because I'd been able to ask the right questions because people automatically know I care and they will usually feel safe telling me stuff and then also she was dying because of an area in nutrition-- dang I'm trying to be HIPPA you know. Sorry for no particulars. That's Ne and Fi at work together. So luckily, the care team (doctor, pharmacy, nurses) trust me more and more, and together we were able to prevent the patient from dying. I think it's still a close one. I need to keep a close eye for the next several days.
Today the thing I am most proud of myself for was following my "gut" feeling to call my sister. I am spiritual and I think there are so many connections between us all that I have stopped trying to rationalize and instead I go with my "gut". But that is just a phrase. What I truely feel is a heart and mind message of some sort. Both heart and mind together told me this morning to call my sister and I'm so glad I did. A while back when I almost had a patient die and I felt like I was drowning because I couldn't convince my care team of the severity of her condition, like in the middle of my prayer one dietitian who has kind of been mentoring me (I am amazingly fortunate that extremely skilled women often take me under their wing-- all I can be is profoundly grateful) called me out of the blue. She said, "Alesha, can I help you? What is going on?" She didn't explain, but I know she is incredibly empathetic and caring. I just feel she sensed a "disturbance in the force" the way I do. And she gave me the strength to just keep duking it out-- end of story, we got the patient treated and she came to see me today, alive and beginning to thrive. Following these intuitive feelings always brings the BEST things in life. These are the most tender, amazing, beautiful experiences by far. I know some of you must know what I mean, and although I have my own spiritual explanations--- I don't spend two seconds on the explanations anymore. All I want is to go on feeling and obeying what my heart and mind say is right for ever. Often these heart and mind impressions come to me when I am first waking in the morning-- a very important time for me to pray/meditate and listen.
 

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There are little moments that I feel like my Fi kicks ass when I call people out on their morality but you know, in actuality my Te normally takes control with Fi 's guidance. Te is more of the 'kick ass' function because it doesn't take any survivors. Fi is more gentle, more caring and it would be more coercing than forceful.

I've been thinking though, and maybe I need to start a thread like this to help my own Fi, that I need to focus on making a difference, being more charitable and feeling like I've done something to impact the world or at least someone's world. I was pretty in inspired after watching Chester Bennington's memorial concert to be more active. He probably was an ENFP himself (INFP at the least) so using him as inspiration is a pretty good start. Obviously he managed to make a difference with his music, it managed to help others through tough times but, as much as I wish my art could do that it's not something which you can predict. It's a goal of mine but perhaps a goal that you can't actively seek. But he helped others in other ways, he would actively go to disaster zones with the rest of the band to physically help them rebuild and volunteered with a charity that provided solar power to these areas. It's like in every aspect in his life he inspired and he helped.

One of my friends went to the Syrian border to help refugees. I thought that was amazing. Most people would just sit on their asses and say "isn't this terrible" and accept that there is nothing that they can do and just be grateful that it isn't them suffering. I'm guilty of being passive too. I even feel like donating money isn't enough. We shouldn't sit by and expect someone else to take the role of hero when we can be the ones genuinely making a difference.
 

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I guess this is an example - nothing revolutionary, but a means to describe me working on all cylinders.
My two roommates went out drinking. Around 3 am I heard them come to the back door hooting and hollering. I woke up, hearing them through my window. I waited patiently for them to come inside and for the noise to die down. Instead, their voices moved away towards the road and only grew louder. I knew what to do and I knew the consequences if I didn't make a move. The neighbors would have called the police and my roommates defensive and brash nature when drunk would have had them potentially get in an altercation/arrested. I also took in mind my neighbors simply being awoken at 3 in the morning. I was still in my underwear and I went outside into the front yard. "Guys get back in the house" as I wave my hands towards them. "It's 3 in the morning and you guys are out here in the street. The neighbors are going to call the police as they've done to us in the past. Come on guys, lets get inside." - Roommates response - "Damn the neighbors, but I respect YOU, so I will come inside - how did we get in the street?" When I fire on all cylinders like that - there is nothing I can't accomplish - the influential ability, charm, directness, understanding, and leadership. This is what I strive for and I can usually be there most of the day. Learning to accept myself and be ok when I fall into what I believe is the grip.
 

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I was going to write out a really long response to this, but it was getting out of hand. So I'll just say that things that make me morally livid definitely get my Fi going, followed by Te trying to figure out what to do about it.
 

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There are little moments that I feel like my Fi kicks ass when I call people out on their morality but you know, in actuality my Te normally takes control with Fi 's guidance. Te is more of the 'kick ass' function because it doesn't take any survivors. Fi is more gentle, more caring and it would be more coercing than forceful.

I've been thinking though, and maybe I need to start a thread like this to help my own Fi, that I need to focus on making a difference, being more charitable and feeling like I've done something to impact the world or at least someone's world. I was pretty in inspired after watching Chester Bennington's memorial concert to be more active. He probably was an ENFP himself (INFP at the least) so using him as inspiration is a pretty good start. Obviously he managed to make a difference with his music, it managed to help others through tough times but, as much as I wish my art could do that it's not something which you can predict. It's a goal of mine but perhaps a goal that you can't actively seek. But he helped others in other ways, he would actively go to disaster zones with the rest of the band to physically help them rebuild and volunteered with a charity that provided solar power to these areas. It's like in every aspect in his life he inspired and he helped.

One of my friends went to the Syrian border to help refugees. I thought that was amazing. Most people would just sit on their asses and say "isn't this terrible" and accept that there is nothing that they can do and just be grateful that it isn't them suffering. I'm guilty of being passive too. I even feel like donating money isn't enough. We shouldn't sit by and expect someone else to take the role of hero when we can be the ones genuinely making a difference.
This is what inspires me too. This post inspires me. This is when I feel like if I could gather a dream team of friends it would be people who could get me involved in doing things like this. Amazing post, Falling Foxes, shows who you are very keenly. It's very humbling to think of people who do such things and I do wish I could too and I don't know exactly how to keep my life going (financially or relationship-wise) and make such sacrifices. Humbling and inspiring!
 
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I guess this is an example - nothing revolutionary, but a means to describe me working on all cylinders.
My two roommates went out drinking. Around 3 am I heard them come to the back door hooting and hollering. I woke up, hearing them through my window. I waited patiently for them to come inside and for the noise to die down. Instead, their voices moved away towards the road and only grew louder. I knew what to do and I knew the consequences if I didn't make a move. The neighbors would have called the police and my roommates defensive and brash nature when drunk would have had them potentially get in an altercation/arrested. I also took in mind my neighbors simply being awoken at 3 in the morning. I was still in my underwear and I went outside into the front yard. "Guys get back in the house" as I wave my hands towards them. "It's 3 in the morning and you guys are out here in the street. The neighbors are going to call the police as they've done to us in the past. Come on guys, lets get inside." - Roommates response - "Damn the neighbors, but I respect YOU, so I will come inside - how did we get in the street?" When I fire on all cylinders like that - there is nothing I can't accomplish - the influential ability, charm, directness, understanding, and leadership. This is what I strive for and I can usually be there most of the day. Learning to accept myself and be ok when I fall into what I believe is the grip.
Awesome example! I also understand what you mean about the grip, I think. For me I'll do something brave that nobody else could/would do and then torment myself on why nobody else did it and why did I think I was so special and then if I'd kept quiet I would have been even MORE tormented. Is this the grip for you? Maybe not.... it's my self-doubt grip often though.

@Tridentus I think this has been the neatest thread. So cool to hear of what we can accomplish, what we are inspired by, and our very meaningful moments.
 

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Discussion Starter #9 (Edited)
I think this has been the neatest thread. So cool to hear of what we can accomplish, what we are inspired by, and our very meaningful moments.
Ne is our most natural function, we can afford to take it for granted. However, I feel like we underrate Fi. We're always eulogising about Ne or discussing how to improve Te.. When I look back at my most blissful moments, the moments I feel most connected and my confidence is at invincible "I am actually magic" levels- I always have that warm glow of Fi connecting in the moment, purring with contentment like a cat lying in sunlight. Either I'm connecting with someone in an Fi way, I've just stayed true to my deeper Fi values and it's paid off, someone else has benefited in a major way from my Fi's influence, or I'm just in an environment where my Fi has many sources of connection at once.

Ne is natural, and Te is a tool, but neither can do that for me.
 

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Ne is our most natural function, we can afford to take it for granted. However, I feel like we underrate Fi. We're always eulogising about Ne or discussing how to improve Te.. When I look back at my most blissful moments, the moments I feel most connected and my confidence is at invincible "I am actually magic" levels- I always have that warm glow of Fi connecting in the moment, purring with contentment like a cat lying in sunlight. Either I'm connecting with someone in an Fi way, I've just stayed true to my deeper Fi values and it's paid off, someone else has benefited in a major way from my Fi's influence, or I'm just in an environment where my Fi has many sources of connection at once.

Ne is natural, and Te is a tool, but neither can do that for me.
I like it! Would you be able to bring out a few specific examples? I learn best with stories and would love to hear more. =)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I like it! Would you be able to bring out a few specific examples? I learn best with stories and would love to hear more. =)
Well just for example, one of my more simple Fi beliefs is that in a group of people, people should be respectful of other people's individuality, and to be open minded. If I'm effectively able to sort of influence the atmosphere of the group in that direction in subtle ways (you know what I'm on about) that feels great. One specific thing might be.. If a certain member of the group is a bit quirky, and other people are ignoring them, let's say I'm gelling with everyone else- I'll take the time to engage with that person, and then everyone else will follow suit and it will create this culture of acceptance in the group. Kind of like have you see Graham Norton? He's a great facilitator because he creates a culture of equality with his guests, even though sometimes he'll have a Hollywood megastar on, and then some quirky celebrity from the UK- that dynamic at a party or something would be tilted.. It just would be.. but Graham creates this atmosphere of equality which actually benefits everyone. On another talk show they might feel competitive underneath.

Or.. if just.. Like I've tended to date INFPs, and they're all about individualistic morals as an Fi-dom, and if we make a connection on that level where we have that mutual recognition of each other- that is very fulfilling and therefore attractive. I dated one who told me she was into like 90s rap (she was kind of typical INFP, even wore flower patterns with a glam-chic style, etc. you could see it from a mile away), someone else made a joke that she seems like she would be more into taylor swift that I could tell would make her feel judged, so I played it off with a joke that diffused it in a harmonious way. You know when you've scored attraction points with someone? That was an Fi-based one lol.

But yeah, for me it's all about being consistent and having all the small things add up. The bigger moments are cool when they happen though.
 

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Awesome example! I also understand what you mean about the grip, I think. For me I'll do something brave that nobody else could/would do and then torment myself on why nobody else did it and why did I think I was so special and then if I'd kept quiet I would have been even MORE tormented. Is this the grip for you? Maybe not.... it's my self-doubt grip often though.

@Tridentus I think this has been the neatest thread. So cool to hear of what we can accomplish, what we are inspired by, and our very meaningful moments.
Tormented is definitely the word I would use to describe the grip. For me, it's when I become overly anxious. I lose my connection with life and others. Like everything I do is wrapped up in my head (anxiety) and I come off as emotionally withdrawn. It begins to spiral and I see the negative side in everything I do. I'm acutely aware of the process as it happens and it takes a little bit of time to find the light again. But yes, you and I share the same description with the grip - tormented. I'm learning to let go when it happens. To take a breath and step back. To accept it and be at peace with it. It's no easy task.
 
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