[digitalceremony]

As I've got to know more and more people, I've come to realize something that rather disturbed me. This could just be my interpretation, but does anyone else get the impression that some others, in particular INXXs, are frightened by our bubbly, exuberant "confidence"?

I put 'confidence' in inverted commas because often my apparent confidence is just that; a display. The reality is that I'm actually rather shy and insecure... I just like to make other people feel at ease.

Since beginning my art course, I've met a couple of INTX guys (the guy I'm seeing now is most likely an INTJ). I found they appeared to be drawn to me, but in the way that they kind of watched me from afar with quiet awe- if I hadn't approached them first, they wouldn't have spoken to me. I find this somewhat flattering, but also kind of unnerving due to what I was always told- that it should be the guy who initiates everything. And to be honest, the thought of appearing "frightening/unapproachable" to people, especially guys, is upsetting. I want people to feel like they can come talk to me whenever they want- I don't bite, I swear! :crying:

 

[Finaille]

I am totally the opposite; I attract introverts like crazy; I think 90% of my friend group consists of introverts.

It's the extraverts that I seem to scare away; often, I don't always fit in large groups which tend to consist of a lot of ESxx... those tend to look at me like I'm terrible poison and tend to not interact with me.

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

I am totally the opposite; I attract introverts like crazy; I think 90% of my friend group consists of introverts.

It's the extraverts that I seem to scare away; often, I don't always fit in large groups which tend to consist of a lot of ESxx... those tend to look at me like I'm terrible poison and tend to not interact with me.

I agree. Introverts have consistently been attracted to me. They appear a bit stand offish at first, that is because they are so puzzled by my behavior. They're curious that's for sure, although they do like to admire from afar in the beginning. They observe what is happening, therefore taking everything in before they decide on whether to act or not. Once i can make them feel completely comfortable, i can open them up like a can of soup

And to the OP. Its not necessarily up to the guy to do the approaching. Women can be assertive too.

 

[SenhorFrio]

My three best friends are introverts, I do most of the talking-apparently they like to listen

 

[xEmilyx]

I like to watch from afar at extroverts, i'm not the one that initiates conversation or the relationship usually. It's not that your intimidating, it's talking that's intimidating. lol I'm more or less afraid that the extrovert won't like me because I'm introverted and strange (according to society) I find it refreshing when someone's an extrovert because I don't have to make up most of the conversation, I get to do what I'm good at (listen).
Don't worry they're not scared OF you, just scared of people in general maybe.

 

[Swordsman of Mana]

not much of an E/I correlation.

types that like me
- NTJs
- ESTJs
- EFPs
- ISFJs

types that hate me
- STPs
-INFJs

the rest are more neutral or 50/50 love hate

 

[chameleon333888]

Well, at least from an INFP perspective I can tell you that at first I'm a little frightened by all that exhuberance and confidence, but eventually I warm up to it. I think most introverts enjoy the optimism, but we just don't know how to be quite so expressive of it ourselves. I always get nervous around EFNP's at first because I worry that I'll be a Debbie Downer to them. It's not so much that I think "Whay are they alwys like that? That's odd and scary." It's more like, "Why are they being so nice to me? What did I do to deserve this? I don't want to ruin their good mood with my doubts and insecurities. Better let them pass me by and find someone who'll keep them happy."

The thing is, you EFNP's never do! Gosh, I love how it fells to be around EFNP's, makes me feel like I really matter to somebody. :happy::happy::happy:

I bet they might be a little shy at first, but most introverts probably enjoy your enthusiasm. Keep up the bubbles and sunshine!

 

[The King Of Dreams]

I would say that it's pretty even with me. However, most of my friends are N's. I have a new ISTP friend who thinks I'm awesome and funny. It's nice to be liked like that

 

[SteffiQueenOfTheNerds]

I can definitely agree to this statement right over here, introverts can be extremely threatened by me.
I actually learned about it when I was in a forum with my INFP sister; SevenOfCups, they pretty much were all talking to her but when I came in; everyone ran away. It was like I was introvert repellent.

I am extremely bubbly and even the way that I type things also shows that I'm enthusiastic as well; I use a lot of exclamation points and sometimes I ENLARGE letters just for the emphasis. xD
Which I can see why people would be afraid of me, I even have a hatred thing for when people capitalize their entire phrases too. (If that even made sense)

But I think that in real life, I'm very warm and introverts aren't that afraid of me.
I love introverts to death and I opened up all of my introverted friends even to the point where they talk more than I do. Which is totally fine with me!

In conclusion, I believe that introverts have a love/hate relationship with me in particular.
Even though I normally tend to find myself drifting towards them more, especially INTP's and INTJ's which never seem to be interested in me in the least. |:A

 

[The King Of Dreams]

Uh, I think I attract introverts. Usually the male Introverts like hanging out with me. Which I deem as PRETTY COOL.

 

[Paradox1987]

Almost all of my friends are extroverts, whilst my closest friend is an ambivert, with introvert leanings. I have a lot of introverted acquaintances though. I guess I can wear more introverted people out trying to get them to follow my whimsical, spontaneous mind to where it wanders... *shrugs*

 

[Lilsnowy]

My closest friends are introverts, either female intuitives or male thinkers. I have many more introvert friends than extravert, and oddly, I find it exhausting to be around extraverts like me. I think because I have always worked in a high energy, people-oriented field (retail) that, when work is over, friendships are places of rest for me.

However, I'm going to an event this Friday so I asked an extravert to go with me. Neither of us know anyone else, so it should be exciting and we're both up for that.

 

[The King Of Dreams]

My closest friends are introverts, either female intuitives or male thinkers. I have many more introvert friends than extravert, and oddly, I find it exhausting to be around extraverts like me. I think because I have always worked in a high energy, people-oriented field (retail) that, when work is over, friendships are places of rest for me.

However, I'm going to an event this Friday so I asked an extravert to go with me. Neither of us know anyone else, so it should be exciting and we're both up for that.

First of all, it's good to see you again :3
Second of all, I kind of get a little tired when I'm around a bunch of extroverts.

 

[uniquegirl]

I don't know if intimidating is the right word. I have always felt like I had to compete with extroverts. I needed to be as outgoing and involved in as much as them. Obviously, my introverted energy cannot keep up with that. Plus, society has a tendency to think that being introverted is wrong so I feel at times when I am around extroverts that I am not good enough. Don't get me wrong. I do like extroverts, but I just feel better at being myself around other introverts.

Also, us introverts like to warm up to people before really conversing with them. Sometimes extroverts tend to pry and it makes me feel uncomfortable just because I haven't had the chance to feel comfortable around them yet.

 

[Hapalo]

Enfps draw a lot of attention, when they talk to introverts that attention is focused on the introvert.
Getting a lot of attention out of nowhere is scary.

 

[The King Of Dreams]

I hope introverts are able to tell that we value them. I hope it takes the edge off of them (if there is any).

 

[Nafatali]

Can’t say that I can relate to Introverts being frightened or threatened by my extroversion. But then again, I’m not exactly a larger than life sort of ENFP. Yes I have my crazy moments (mainly when my Ne and Te are activated and reach their peak), but generally the need to make people around me comfortable outweighs everything else. Probably more a 9 thing :wink:.

 

[Up and Away]

much less scared of EF's than ET's, but for me it came/ perhaps still comes down to not confidence in the slightest, but rather "openness"

anger denial jealousy envy etc..

that being said, if you truly are open, just keep accepting the introvert with the knowledge that those things will pass once you crack them out of their shell a bit

sometimes they need a bit of space though, and u can try it again later, perhaps toned down a bit depending on the person

 

[Zster]

I find this somewhat flattering, but also kind of unnerving due to what I was always told- that it should be the guy who initiates everything.

Umm, not sure how old you are or what demographic you hail from, but I am fairly certain that this day and age, at least where I have been, this is antiquated thinking. Girls AND guys can initiate, or at least start the game of flirting. Introverts of EITHER gender are unlikely to risk rejection by putting themselves out there. They often will respond favorably to overtures from a warm extravert though. If your initiating has worked, I do not see a problem.

I would not say that my natural effervescence SCARES introverts, but it might put some off who cannot believe that such outgoing behavior can be natural and sincere. I actually appreciate that filter. I prefer not to waste my time on those who get hung up on how one "should behave" or goes around thinking ill of others ("she can not be for real - is obviously faking it or has an agenda"). Their loss!

 

[thetruehell]

As I've got to know more and more people, I've come to realize something that rather disturbed me. This could just be my interpretation, but does anyone else get the impression that some others, in particular INXXs, are frightened by our bubbly, exuberant "confidence"?

I put 'confidence' in inverted commas because often my apparent confidence is just that; a display. The reality is that I'm actually rather shy and insecure... I just like to make other people feel at ease.

Since beginning my art course, I've met a couple of INTX guys (the guy I'm seeing now is most likely an INTJ). I found they appeared to be drawn to me, but in the way that they kind of watched me from afar with quiet awe- if I hadn't approached them first, they wouldn't have spoken to me. I find this somewhat flattering, but also kind of unnerving due to what I was always told- that it should be the guy who initiates everything. And to be honest, the thought of appearing "frightening/unapproachable" to people, especially guys, is upsetting. I want people to feel like they can come talk to me whenever they want- I don't bite, I swear! :crying:

In your dreams