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Hi INTPs, I'd like to hear all about your experiences moving to new places, away from everyone you know.
  • What was your rationale for doing so?
  • How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?
  • What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?
  • Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?
  • What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?

I ask because I'm considering it.
 

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Hi INTPs, I'd like to hear all about your experiences moving to new places, away from everyone you know.

  • What was your rationale for doing so?

It had to be done. Moving to get a degree.




  • How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?

It had to be done so there's really no regretting about it. There are times when I feel lonely (Si Fe-loop) and times when I feel happy, free, independent.




  • What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?

It depends on chance and your own commitment if you get friends or not. I got a bunch of friends but they all have moved away one by one to another area. Now I'm pretty much alone.




  • Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?

The first week was hard. After that I got along by myself.




  • What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?

You are free and independent. You can start anew if there are things which you prefer leaving behind. Change of scenery and new perspectives.

Then again you can feel occasional loneliness if you don't get friends.




I've been thinking of moving nearer to my close ones when a few more years have gone by. I've been alone enough.
 

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What was your rationale for doing so?
Four times for education, more times for jobs or projects. This sounds all work-related, but most of the times I could choose where I was being relocated. I have moved for two main reasons:

1) Self development - both professionally and personally, I like a good challenge. I believe each person has a large playground to re-engineer and improve themselves. In order to explore the limits of my playground and truly understand my limitations, I take a series of well-calculated risks and test myself. Since my teen years I have noticed my performance drops if things get too simple and straight-forward. In the same way I am reluctant to discuss the trivial and obvious, I fear a trivial life. I am addicted to extremely high levels of meaningful difficulty and moving provides plenty of these.

2) Checking potential locations for settling down - I am collecting both personal experiences and factual data on the cities I have lived in. Once I decide to settle down, I will use this data base to make an informed decision.

How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?
Sometimes it was difficult, other times it was very difficult. Absolutely yes.

What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?
Deep and meaningful connections: It is rarely easy, unless you move to INTPstan, in which case please share the coordinates :)
Just human buzz: This is quite easy. Living in the center helps. Doing sports or anything that involves a class helps. Living in a culture where people are warm and open about chatting you up helps.

Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?
I can't help with this one. I have always felt isolated and different, even in my small, cozy Southern hometown by the sea. So nothing really changed dramatically in this department. I just grew up and went for depth over breadth. No matter where you go, you will find people you like and people you don't.

What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?
Understanding yourself better. Then reinventing yourself in the direction you choose.

Your identity will loom large in front of you and you will find it hard to deny to yourself many of the things you would normally brush aside. You will have no distractions - it will all be up to you. There is no better experience than this.
I don't know how it would affect you, but I am quite negative the first 4 months. I am noticing all the things I dislike and strongly miss everything and everybody I found valuable from my previous location. Give it a real chance, go for at least a year.

I ask because I'm considering it.
I would really like to share a quote by Søren Kierkegaard with you and all the other INTPs on the forum.
Each time I find myself in such a situation, I remind myself:

Have I dared wrongly, oh well, then life will help me with the punishment. But have I not dared at all, who will help me then?
 
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Moved to England last fall for a teaching position. There's few jobs in Canada in the field. The school I ended up at was abysmal and I quickly left and found a job at a much better school. It's been overall a great experience.

As a person who absolutely hates loud places like bars, parties etc., and doesn't like drinking, it's extraordinarily difficult to find like-minded people. I made a few friends at university societies. With them plus the many good friends I've made online, I haven't felt too isolated. In a way, since I never had any good offline friends before I moved, it was rather painless to relocate.

Things became routine within a week of moving here. I haven't felt homesick at all. I've met my social quota and have therefore been content. I enjoy my job and that's what matters the most.
 
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-What was your rationale for doing so?
I had always wanted to live abroad. Get to know other countries, a different culture. It was also a necessary step since I had to for academic reasons. Once here in my new country of residence, after four years living in the same city I had to move again, this time within the country so I didn't lose contact with the people I befriended previously. At least not entirely. My rationale was luckily in accordance with my all time wish. Now I'm thinking about moving again, I'm a restless ass :unsure:

-How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?

It's the best decision II've ever taken. I knew it from the moment the plane took off. I was so happy. I also have this thing, some sort of adrenaline rush when I 'leave things behind' to start or explore something new. I may have become addicted to it, hence the considerations I mentioned previously.

- What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?

I didn't have to do much, to be fair. Since the main reason was academic and furthermore, a specialization within my field, finding like-minded people was bound to happen. I have to say though that I haven't made friends 'outside' this circle. It's not like I had many outside my circle back where I lived anyway, so there's no real change in that. I have to point out that I haven't made any new friends in the city I live now, just aquaintances.

-Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?

No. I think I had the advantage that I moved to a country where they speak my language! That, I think, can make a huge difference. You may be decently good or fluent in a second language but there's always a barrier, at least at the beginning, that makes things harder. I had some issues getting accustomed to some habits, getting their sense of humor and realizing that most people here don't share mine, that I had to be louder if I didn't want to be stepped over, etc. mostly cultural differences that may be hard to get a grasp on but are also one of the reasons you move abroad, right?

- What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?

It depends on so many things. If I had moved abroad when I was 20 because I was in love with someone who was living or moving away, that would have been a bad decision. Now I'm old enough to know when things are important, so in a situation like that I would have to give it some deep thought and who knows, maybe I'd do it and it would be a wise choice. Maybe moving abroad as a manner of escape is a bad choice, because the things/issues people usually run away from -not saying crimes, ha!- are things they carry themselves, and obviously will follow them somehow. A good reason, in my view, is a choice that stems from reason. It has to be a 100% rational, cool headed decision. Even if you do it for love, your choice has to be reached via careful consideration of potential developments and outcomes, your own capacity to adapt, to endure eventual difficulties, etc.
 

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What was your rationale for doing so?

I've always had a touch of wanderlust..

but it was mostly the crushing weight of reality, or defeat.

How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?

In the short term, it was a practical solution... but inhibited, in that, I was making it up as I went along. It wasn't anywhere remotely near what I had planned or envisioned for myself... had I been more invested or able to step back and recognize what it was at the time, perhaps it would have been a good choice. Although, considering my options at the time... it was the better choice.

What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?

I still relied on my networks; crashed parties and couches. At the time, I was professional jerk of all trades, involved in multiple subcultural scenes and interests as well as being involved with volunteerism to some extent.. which gave me a way in with other like-minded people... and several people that just needed an exchange, on the low and affordable -- which, if nothing else, if not providing some social need, did help expand my personal networks. -- where I had to stay a few months at a time, it was more difficult to find a good roommate than it was finding anything else.

Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?

One of my gigs took me to smaller town, literally a one street town, isolated in every direction.. and being stuck with a bunch of kids that hadn't even so little as bought toilet paper for themselves, and questionably, ever wiped their own arses... or dealing with the disgruntled townies that didn't seem to understand that this seasonal event was the only thing keeping their town afloat. It wasn't so bad when the performers came along, made great friends with one, and there was plenty of hiking, other activities to be had.. but that was the worst of the scenes.. and the only one I left from early.

In other scenes, I'd say it was more moving from existential crisis to existential crisis than it ever being or needing to confront feeling isolated.

What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?

In my own case, they didn't factor into it.

The rest applies to the general sense... be it security from blankets to bars.
 

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Oh, god, how I wish I could move to anywhere but the town where I live now. But poverty + lack of skills to secure a job elsewhere and spare funds to pay for food & shelter in the meantime.

Other than that, I don't have any active IRL friendships here anyway, so I wouldn't be missing much. My only concern would be what I could do if I lost my job and all my money while living far away from my parents and other family. I guess I would have to come back here and sleep on their couch unless I found another job quick. Fuckin money and stuff...
 

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I moved to Australia on my own after travelling India for a while.

[*]What was your rationale for doing so?
People had said there was good money to be earned there, even on a basic, low-paid 'Working Holiday Visa', which is what every traveller gets. Well, only travellers whose home countries have such a visa arrangement with Australia.

[*]How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?
It was brilliant. One of the best times of my life. However this may also be down to the fact that I was deeply in love with a girl at the time. I may have been blinded by the various love hormones. I'm not sure though. It was all very good. When I arrived I stayed in a hostel and made a couple of good friends. I then moved to a nice house-share and landed a job in a factory with great people.

[*]What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?
I find myself to be like-minded with most people in some way. I don't push myself into too much of a niche, if that makes sense.

[*]Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?
The isolation was FANTASTIC. I knew a couple of people, got a good dose of socialising at work, then spent my downtime studying for the maths exams which eventually got me onto my physics degree when I came home later.

[*]What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?
GOOD - Freedom, new life, new you.
BAD - You may feel a little too disconnected from the life you left behind, which you'll inevitably need to return to at some point, in some way.


ALSO.

I know I've just given my Australia example, as that's the most extreme case of me moving away, since I arrived 100% alone. However I have another example:

I moved to London to start my degree course. I knew a couple of people there already. HOWEVER. It was shite. I just didn't settle, for a number of reasons. My social life was active enough, I had flat mates and stuff, but it all just seemed a little grim. I didn't enjoy it. I'm not sure why.

And another example:

I moved to China last September to start a year of study here. Again I arrived entirely on my own. But I've been living in a dormitory with loads of other international students, including plenty of Brits, so I've settled well.

The interesting thing about this time in China is that it's made me gain a new love for my immediate home life - the place I grew up in, the simple life I had before. I think it's probably because of the vastly different culture I'm in here. It's given me a good chance to reflect on my own way of life, and think about the little things I really enjoy the most. I realise that those little things were not available in London, but they were on my doorstep back home (in the north of England). So when I get home I'm transferring to a university closer to home and can't. fucking. wait.

Hmmm, to conclude I think I'll say:

Living far away in new places has made me realise just how important it is to appreciate, and connect with, the things I knew best, the things I grew up with, and the life that makes 'me' who I am.

However I think that I only realised this because I went out and had the experience of arriving alone and living at these other places.

So yes, move away, do it on your own, grow as a person and everything will be hunky-dory.
 

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Hi INTPs, I'd like to hear all about your experiences moving to new places, away from everyone you know.
  • What was your rationale for doing so?
  • How has it gone? Do you feel like it was a good choice?
  • What did you do to create new connections with like-minded people in places where you moved? Was it difficult?
  • Did you have problems with feeling too isolated, and how did you deal with them?
  • What do you think are good/bad reasons for moving away from everyone you know?

I ask because I'm considering it.
I used to do that all the time!!...Now I regret it, because I might have learned how to form a long-lasting relationship and grow some stability, some connections, blah blah.
I first did some moving around because I absolutely hated everyone I knew, but then in my next location, I also hated everyone. Turns out, I would hate everyone everywhere I go, because I'm not meant to connect with other people. :sad:
 
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