Personality Cafe banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 33 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,852 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Obviously this question is aimed more towards those that live and breathe music.
If someone you are interested in just so happens to not like the kind of music you like how does this make you feel and what do you do about it? If anything?

I've only been in three long term relationships and all but the first where interested in exactly the same music, which is what we initially come together over. The first relationship there were differences but we found compromises and I could still handle listening to and seeing bands that I weren't interested in, yet these days I'm not sure I could do that again. I love my music and feel music tastes can be one of several signs of compatibility...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,339 Posts
For me I've never met anyone that listens to the same music as I do. Music is my life though,I think as long as someone is passionate about music then to me i'ts important. I just have deeper connections with people that are more music orientated.I'm not going to lie I do tend to judge people based on their musical taste something that always bugs me "I listen to everything" It's always a ''rolls eyes' moment for me. If i'm in a relationship with someone who absolutley HATES all my music,I dont know It would def. be a problem but not an ending relationship worth problem but a problem,I would try really hard though to find at least ONE band/artist they would like.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,349 Posts
I could do without country music. Most other genres are acceptable. As long as they like diferent types and aren't just playing Northeastern Chile Folk Dance music all day...
Change it up a little, make sure the "shuffle" button will actually shuffle.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,020 Posts
There needs to be some common ground.

I can't stand listening to reggae all day long every day. I would probably shoot myself, in fact. I'm flirting with the idea:dry:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,393 Posts
I don't think it's necessary, but I'd love to share the same kind of music taste with my partner. I'd imagine a woman who listens to the same stuff I do would be an awesome person.:cool:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,987 Posts
It's important, lol. Ending a relationship over it might be a little much though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,691 Posts
I've always done most of my listening through headphones, and have a spare set and amp a partner would be more than welcome to use. If I'm listening to music I'm listening to music usually lost inside my head, I don't use it as background noise unless I'm doing something boring (like cleaning)

Having survived two years at uni living beneath a guy who was heavily into gangster rap (he'd hate me for saying that, he called it something else :crazy:) I know I wouldn't punish myself by living with someone who did like background music unless I liked it too. I like a lot of music but far from the "I listen to everything" some people claim. Every kind of rap definitely goes in the not liked pile for a start, though I still hope to be proved wrong someday.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
815 Posts
The odds are that I could find some common ground with nearly anyone. I like all genres of music with the exception of pop (there are some exceptions though), western, and "gangsta" rap (which I find repulsive).

I probably wouldn't mind listening to their music when we are together and listening to mine when we are not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
244 Posts
Full disclosure - I've never been in a relationship so this is all speculation, but I think even in friendships having some kind of common ground musically is important to me. I think you can learn a lot about someone's personality by knowing what kind of music they listen to. I've even had random guys come up to me and start conversations with me about a band just because I was wearing their T-shirt and I guess that signaled to them that I might be someone they'd be interested in talking to. I know taste in music is one of the big things I look at when trying to figure out how much I have in common with someone.

It would suck to be in a relationship where you were constantly tortured by your partner's crappy music or where music that you felt really connected to was criticized/misunderstood by your partner. It can be such a bummer when you find a band or song you get really excited about and when you try to share with someone they just don't care or get it like you do - it just kills my enthusiasm when that happens. Plus it would be fun to be able to go to concerts with your partner and not have your partner standing there looking miserable the whole time.

That said not sharing musical tastes wouldn't be the end of the world as long as my partner was accepting of my musicial tastes (and hopefully their music wouldn't be so bad that it would make me want to kill myself). I think having musical tastes that are similar but not exactly the same would be ideal because then you could still like each other's music but still have enough differences that you could get introduced to interesting new stuff you might not have heard otherwise.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
815 Posts
I'm really openminded about music, so it doesn't matter much to me. When I started seeing my ex, I was listening to most top 40 pop and he was into alt rock and classic rock. I ended up being just as into it as he was.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,514 Posts
Ideally I'd like there to be some kind of overlap. It's cool if she has her own music and I have my own corner, as long as there's some middle ground.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,852 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
During my last relationship we shared a lot of similar musical interests and we introduced a lot of new bands to each other but there was always a handful of bands that despite how much each of us tried it just didn't happen. The problem was as well that we pretty much lived out of each others pockets so it was sometimes hard to find time to listen to those bands. When the relationship was over I kinda relished in the fact I could go back and catch up with all those great albums. It was like seeing long lost children from a previous relationship. And I know it was wrong to feel like that, it shouldn't be like that.

I remember a Bill Hicks quote that I'm going to have to take out of context a little to fit this but it works and it's true, the point basically is if you love someone shouldn't you love everything single little thing about them? It's a tough one.... when we all have our own tastes and not being identical to your partner is a great thing.. I mean this goes beyond music but music is a great example.
I guess it would be wrong to date someone who is pretty much your mirror but also not someone who is your complete opposite? Compromise? Creating temporary space to retain your own individuality? Does that sound wrong? Give up the things that you don't share an interest in? Is that a treat to individuality?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
179 Posts
I need to have a common ground. The wider the common ground is, the better, but also to have a little difference is cool too if they like a different style and can point out the good music / artist.

I like road tripping, so my partner and I have to be able to agree on the tunes.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,849 Posts
Not important at all. My ex of many years used to listen to jazz quite a bit. I can't stand jazz. And I was at the time dabbling in something he called howling and later horrible industrial screeching lol. However our music mutually grew on each other. I started listening to some of his musical library and he copied over some of my stuff and I know he listens to even now that we are no longer together.

Only thing that I would appreciate in my partner with respect to music is that he doesn't listen to same stuff over and over again but goes out and explores new artists once in a while. I used to know a guy at work who would basically play 1 CD for entire year and that is all he listened to. That just wasn't any fun.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
During my last relationship we shared a lot of similar musical interests and we introduced a lot of new bands to each other but there was always a handful of bands that despite how much each of us tried it just didn't happen. The problem was as well that we pretty much lived out of each others pockets so it was sometimes hard to find time to listen to those bands. When the relationship was over I kinda relished in the fact I could go back and catch up with all those great albums. It was like seeing long lost children from a previous relationship. And I know it was wrong to feel like that, it shouldn't be like that.

I remember a Bill Hicks quote that I'm going to have to take out of context a little to fit this but it works and it's true, the point basically is if you love someone shouldn't you love everything single little thing about them? It's a tough one.... when we all have our own tastes and not being identical to your partner is a great thing.. I mean this goes beyond music but music is a great example.
I guess it would be wrong to date someone who is pretty much your mirror but also not someone who is your complete opposite? Compromise? Creating temporary space to retain your own individuality? Does that sound wrong? Give up the things that you don't share an interest in? Is that a treat to individuality?
I guess what the majority of people say works for them (most of the time). Compromise is compromise, and sure it would be a treat to individuality. But something I've come to learn tells me different: If it's love, there would be no need to compromise. I find that a lot of people come to love the things they can understand. As long as we can understand why someone might find something else appealing, like a certain genre of music, we can love them. Generally speaking, I believe that if it's really love--to love a person is the easiest act conceivable for it requires no effort at all.

But then again... who's to say we can't love what we don't understand?... ;]

Anyway, if it's just straight-up relationships we're talking about, that's a different story--that's when compromise is nearly inevitable, especially if you're going to be living with the person.

Oh, and by the way: I would love to be with the person who is pretty much exactly like me. I don't care what anybody says. x]
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,008 Posts
Obviously this question is aimed more towards those that live and breathe music.
If someone you are interested in just so happens to not like the kind of music you like how does this make you feel and what do you do about it? If anything?

I've only been in three long term relationships and all but the first where interested in exactly the same music, which is what we initially come together over. The first relationship there were differences but we found compromises and I could still handle listening to and seeing bands that I weren't interested in, yet these days I'm not sure I could do that again. I love my music and feel music tastes can be one of several signs of compatibility...
Music taste is not incredibly important. It would be if she is a very musical person and constantly wants to play a certain kind of music when we are around. After all, I don't want hear Justin Beiber playing all day for God's sake.

I know the pains of having to listen shitty music constantly. One Christmas season, I worked for a Disney retail store and they played non-stop: Hanna Montana, Jonas Brothers, and Disney movie classics. I have never been so close to waning to punture my ear drums with a hot poker in my whole life!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,473 Posts
If you are person who appreciates music it should always be case by case to he song the genre. There are polka songs I like, blues, ballads, Country, Hardcore rap songs, if the song causes you to think ,dance, smile or any positive reaction then that is Music. Music also sates who you are and an attentive companion can use that music to better understand you.
 
1 - 20 of 33 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top