[CristianLuca]

When I'm too excited I cum pretty quick . When I'm not excited I can go on for very long time, without stopping, for more then an hour. The problem is that women feel that I'm not that excited and they don't get excited either. I can't fake my orgarsm, but I want them to climax as well. It doesn't have to happen every time but I want to make her cum at least once when we started. I feel pretty sad when I climax 6 times on one night and they don't , not even once, even though "the act" is taking for a long time. I tried to talk to all of them a lot of times but they say they don't know. When it comes to understanding my girlfriends sexual mechanisms each and every time I felt alone on the path, it's like they didn't care, and yet they wanted me to somehow figure it out, they didn't say it, but it's pretty obvious and by my standards I'm fully dedicated to understand every "corner" of their sexuality. I'm pretty sure I need more experience. Any similar experiences ?

EDIT : People, I don't need an advice from you so don't waste energy to write it, I'm just curious if someone else has similiar experiences.

 

[pinkrasputin]

Well I am sorry. It sounds like you may have some experience with women who don't know their bodies very well. This is usually the reason why they can't tell you what would get them off. They don't know. And it really doesn't take sexual experience with a whole bunch of partners in order for a person to get to know their body, it takes them getting to know themselves or their bodies through masturbation. They should discover parts of themselves and make love to themselves so they know what gives them pleasure. I know it would be hard for you to encourage them to do that on their own without you. But I would just foster the conversation if they ever brought up conversation about masturbation. They should be doing it on their own to figure themselves out.

If they are not too modest, you may be able to get one to do it in front of you.

I am sure you know to start by first going down on them for a long time until they cum a few times. Take a little bit more control don't come up until they've orgasmed. When you're down there, look up at them and ask "would do you want me to do. Teach me" Be sure to ask that while your hot breath is reaching their clitoris. That's a turn on :wink: Even if she gets embarrassed or shy, continue to breathe on her spot. Keeping looking up at her and lick it and then ask "do you like that?" That's pretty damn hot.

I would also suggest doing a few other unorthodox things to her while doing this just to make SURE she squeals but I don't want to hear the comments so I won't go into detail. Just make sure to MAKE her explore. Stick fingers in new places, etc. :wink: Let her tell you what she doesn't like but you have to at least try. Some women are just too modest to "go there" themselves. They need you pushing the limits politely.

I really encourage you to make her orgasm with oral sex before you enter her. Don't let her tell you to just "go inside now". That is her probably giving up on your ability to make her cum with just your mouth. Prove her wrong.

Now, once inside and after you have teased the crap out of her make sure you do all those suggestions that David Daida suggests. I remember, isn't there something in the book about counting? Anyway, I also think a lot of teasing will get you very far. Hold out for a long time. I know for me, after I climax once the next two are just around the corner. So if a guy first makes me orgasm while he goes down on me, and then he enters, it doesn't matter if he starts to climax quickly. I will probably be right there with him.

If you are a person who comes super super quick, you can also go down on her and bring her to her edge. Keep asking her if she is about to cum, and when she says she is, enter her and you can both climax together.

Another thing is, I would really encourage her to climb on top of you and let her grind. Let her take control. Tell her that you like to lift you your pubic bone to feel her clit. Don't make her feel pressured to "pump" you, encourage her to go slow and grind so that she can feel your pubic bone against your clit. She will find her rhythm. Reach up to her and pull her neck down towards you in order to give her a passionate kiss while she is grinding on top of you. You probably already know about using your thumb to help her when she's on top. But I think you tilting your hips us so she can grind even more would be awesome.

Another thing is, if you really feel you climax too quickly and you also have a very short refractory period, perhaps you should be masturbating more outside of sex. This will cool your engines a bit.

So if you go slow, do you go limp? What about you going slow is upsetting your partners. How do you appear "not excited"? If I knew the answer to that maybe I could help you more.

 

[CristianLuca]

Well I am sorry.

you don't have to be , its ok :wink:

It sounds like you may have some experience with women who don't know their bodies very well. This is usually the reason why they can't tell you what would get them off. They don't know. And it really doesn't take sexual experience with a whole bunch of partners in order for a person to get to know their body, it takes them getting to know themselves or their bodies through masturbation. They should discover parts of themselves and make love to themselves so they know what gives them pleasure.

I do have bad experiences and I'm aware there is something that I have to learn about the reason I attract these types of women, those with sexual inhibitions or lack of knowledge about their own sexuality.

I know it would be hard for you to encourage them to do that on their own without you.
But I would just foster the conversation if they ever brought up conversation about masturbation. They should be doing it on their own to figure themselves out.
.....

I would also suggest doing a few other unorthodox things to her while doing this just to make SURE she squeals but I don't want to hear the comments so I won't go into detail. Just make sure to MAKE her explore. Stick fingers in new places, etc. :wink: Let her tell you what she doesn't like but you have to at least try. Some women are just too modest to "go there" themselves. They need you pushing the limits politely.

Oh my dear I-wanna-meet-this-loving-ENFP-but-I-can't-cause-she-is-too-far Pink, I thought you figured me out by now. I talk about these things all the time even with women friends. I have 0 problems talking about anything that I'm concerned. NONE. I even advice each and every women that I respect to go "wild" with another woman, it will be good for her. The problem is that I keep attracting these types of women and there is nothing you can do or say about it. It's an experiential knowledge that I have to acquire not intellectual.

If they are not too modest, you may be able to get one to do it in front of you.
I am sure you know to start by first going down on them for a long time until they cum a few times. Take a little bit more control don't come up until they've orgasmed. When you're down there, look up at them and ask "would do you want me to do. Teach me" Be sure to ask that while your hot breath is reaching their clitoris. That's a turn on :wink: Even if she gets embarrassed or shy, continue to breathe on her spot. Keeping looking up at her and lick it and then ask "do you like that?" That's pretty damn hot.

If every woman could be like you ... the world would be a better place.
I'm playful as fuck but with dull and frigid/semi-frigid women. What can I do. Keep searching, that's what I can do. Most women on this planet are awful in bed, searching one with the level that I require is a very hard battle.

I really encourage you to make her orgasm with oral sex before you enter her. Don't let her tell you to just "go inside now". That is her probably giving up on your ability to make her cum with just your mouth. Prove her wrong.

Now, once inside and after you have teased the crap out of her make sure you do all those suggestions that David Daida suggests. I remember, isn't there something in the book about counting? Anyway, I also think a lot of teasing will get you very far. Hold out for a long time. I know for me, after I climax once the next two are just around the corner. So if a guy first makes me orgasm while he goes down on me, and then he enters, it doesn't matter if he starts to climax quickly. I will probably be right there with him.

If you are a person who comes super super quick, you can also go down on her and bring her to her edge. Keep asking her if she is about to cum, and when she says she is, enter her and you can both climax together.

Another thing is, I would really encourage her to climb on top of you and let her grind. Let her take control. Tell her that you like to lift you your pubic bone to feel her clit. Don't make her feel pressured to "pump" you, encourage her to go slow and grind so that she can feel your pubic bone against your clit. She will find her rhythm. Reach up to her and pull her neck down towards you in order to give her a passionate kiss while she is grinding on top of you. You probably already know about using your thumb to help her when she's on top. But I think you tilting your hips us so she can grind even more would be awesome.

Another thing is, if you really feel you climax too quickly and you also have a very short refractory period, perhaps you should be masturbating more outside of sex. This will cool your engines a bit.

All this is really good, very good, but I already know all this and plenty of it more, the problem is that you assume my partners were at that level of understanding, you don't have to be a luxury call girl to be good in bed but you need a certain level of understanding which most people don't have. I really appreciate you writing it.

So if you go slow, do you go limp? What about you going slow is upsetting your partners. How do you appear "not excited"? If I knew the answer to that maybe I could help you more.

I can't go slow , don't have that much patience and I believe it's also the woman that doesn't know how to temper me. I know what tempers me but women of that breed are hard to find. They have to earn my patience , they have to challenge me in a way I can't really describe, it's a body language, a certain confidence she has from her womanhood, me going slow means that she has to offer me something while I go slow, that is not an easy thing to do for a normal woman, it's actually impossible.

What really I was all about is that I have to trade my pleasure for hers by not getting too excited but I wonder if I can be excited and keep my ejaculation for a long time (probably I should search more about tantric sex ) . I need more experience , I should of not posted this, I don't have the answer for it , but there's nothing that anyone can do intellectually to "solve" my problem, I was just curious if someone else has the same issue as I do, I wasn't looking for a "fix".

Thank you very much for taking the time to write such a long answer. Now I wanna summon my ENFPness and give you some lovin'. Look what you've done to me ... :blushed:

 

[amanda32]

Post Deleted.

 

[Red Panda]

Maybe if you masturbate before, you can last longer, have you tried it? I used to be like your girlfriend because I was tensed but now I can cum 2-3 times even before my boyfriend comes once. It's probably not your fault.

 

[CristianLuca]

amanda32 thank you for your long post as well but I'm sorry to dissapoint you but you haven't told me anything that I already do not know. These things are basics that I figured a couple of years ago. I didn't post it to look for an advice.

 

[sofort99]

Post Deleted.

well god damn it. That was some of the best advice the boy was ever going to get, no matter how much he thought he knew.

 

[CristianLuca]

well god damn it. That was some of the best advice the boy was ever going to get, no matter how much he thought he knew.

You felt so hurt in your own egotistic head by the idea that someone could actually know something that looked that most people around you don't, probably because you felt your penis shrinking of the thought of a 24 could know something that you (probably older) already know, making what you know useless to me, that thought was unbearable to you so you had to keep your own image of self-esteem on top by validating her deleted post , a validation that only shows to me what incapable you really are to grasp something that might not be so linear and bookish and you seem so proud of something that her advice is something that only people as "mature" as you could only understand, people that are here to instruct/fix others, there's no one else that can do that, specially a 24 yo, and specially when such guru in sexuality and life experience is around, of my "friend" try come with something smartef next time and less arrogant when you come around my door, your not the only one here "knowing" stuff, oh you mighty chucknorris of life-jutsu.

 

[Psilocin]

Have you tried giving 'em a deep massage before the deed?

 

[CristianLuca]

Have you tried giving 'em a deep massage before the deed?

for 1-2 hours, full body massages, same results, there was psychological issues, romanian girls are really behind with sexuality although they might say other wise, we are still a fucking communist country.

 

[Psilocin]

for 1-2 hours, full body massages, same results, there was psychological issues, romanian girls are really behind with sexuality although they might say other wise, we are still a fucking communist country.

There's your problem.
They's uncumfertible.

What other steps do you think you could take to increase that level of comfort?

 

[pinkrasputin]

for 1-2 hours, full body massages, same results, there was psychological issues, romanian girls are really behind with sexuality although they might say other wise, we are still a fucking communist country.

Romanian girls behind in sexuality?

Okay, my Romanian ex husband made it seem like Romanian women were freaks. One of his ex's used to put milk on her who-ha and let her kitty lick it! Not kidding. She was also bisexual too. So I just thought all Romanian girls were this way. I hardly imagined them prudes.

 

[CristianLuca]

There's your problem.
They's uncumfertible.

What other steps do you think you could take to increase that level of comfort?

I'm not there to babysit her, either she meets me half way or get the fuck out, that simple. There's a limit to doing the therapist on her, some people are not where you are and will probably never be, nothing you can do about it, just respect that and leave them be. Now that's and advice from you mr. Psilocin, you seem to have an overextended therapist mindset, I don't.

 

[sofort99]

LOL!

The good new is we know what's wrong with you.

The bad news is we know what's wrong with you.

The good news is you'll grow out of it.

The bad news is I'm afraid for you it's going to take a while and It'll be painful.



God... I remember when I was 24 and knew everything.


But even then, I don't think I would have come to a forum and told everybody I don't know how to make a girl cum and when somebody like amanda32 told me exactly what was going on and what to do about it, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have told her I didn't want the help.

Of course, maybe you don't need the help. But I'm pretty sure the unfortunate girls that wind up fucking you do.

A real man would know that men don't really understands women, women don't really understand other women, and half the time women don't even understand what's going on with themselves. So when a woman offers insight on their inner workings like amanda32 did earlier, a man would have STFU, nodded his head appreciatively, and say "thank you" even if it wasn't relevant to the subject. Although in this case, amanda32 told you what was going on with you and what to do about it. You would have seen that. If you didn't already know everything.

And that's not even what a smart man would have done. That's just what a man that didn't drool in a cup would have done.

A smart man would have taken the opportunity and asked "Really? Tell me more..."

 

[Psilocin]

I'm not there to babysit her, either she meets me half way or get the fuck out, that simple. There's a limit to doing the therapist on her, some people are not where you are and will probably never be, nothing you can do about it, just respect that and leave them be. Now that's and advice from you mr. Psilocin, you seem to have an overextended therapist mindset, I don't.

It's a lot easier to say "I don't want your advice", prick. :\

A real man would know that men don't really understands women, women don't really understand other women, and half the time women don't even understand what's going on with themselves. So when a woman offers insight on their inner workings like amanda32 did earlier, a man would have STFU, nodded his head appreciatively, and say "thank you" even if it wasn't relevant to the subject. Although in this case, amanda32 told you what was going on with you and what to do about it. You would have seen that. If you didn't already know everything.

And that's not even what a smart man would have done. That's just what a man that didn't drool in a cup would have done.

A smart man would have taken the opportunity and asked "Really? Tell me more..."

This here is gon' be stored in the memory banks for future reference.

 

[pinkrasputin]

When I'm too excited I cum pretty quick . When I'm not excited I can go on for very long time, without stopping, for more then an hour. The problem is that women feel that I'm not that excited and they don't get excited either. I can't fake my orgarsm, but I want them to climax as well. It doesn't have to happen every time but I want to make her cum at least once when we started. I feel pretty sad when I climax 6 times on one night and they don't , not even once, even though "the act" is taking for a long time. I tried to talk to all of them a lot of times but they say they don't know. When it comes to understanding my girlfriends sexual mechanisms each and every time I felt alone on the path, it's like they didn't care, and yet they wanted me to somehow figure it out, they didn't say it, but it's pretty obvious and by my standards I'm fully dedicated to understand every "corner" of their sexuality. I'm pretty sure I need more experience. Any similar experiences ?

Oh oops. Sorry. I might be the one responsible for setting this entire thread astray. I did ignore your question. For that I'm deeply sorry. My Ne when rampant and I failed to stick with the prompt. I wrote what I wanted to write and not really empathizing. Sorries.

Honestly, I have experienced this before. I don't like it. I feel like when someone expects me to know what to do to them, that makes them seem lazy to me. And uncommunicative. I also worry that they will be like that outside of the bedroom. Will I have to guess every need?

I hear you saying you bring a LOT to the table. I believe you do work hard to understand your partner's body. But it's to point. I'm say way. I think most of us are. That's why it is always suggested to lose the inhibitions and state what you want from your partner in bed. Both partners should be willing to bring something to the table.

I hear your frustration.