you don't have to be , its ok :wink:
pinkrasputin said:
It sounds like you may have some experience with women who don't know their bodies very well. This is usually the reason why they can't tell you what would get them off. They don't know. And it really doesn't take sexual experience with a whole bunch of partners in order for a person to get to know their body, it takes them getting to know themselves or their bodies through masturbation. They should discover parts of themselves and make love to themselves so they know what gives them pleasure.
I do have bad experiences and I'm aware there is something that I have to learn about the reason I attract these types of women, those with sexual inhibitions or lack of knowledge about their own sexuality.
pinkrasputin said:
I know it would be hard for you to encourage them to do that on their own without you.
But I would just foster the conversation if they ever brought up conversation about masturbation. They should be doing it on their own to figure themselves out.
.....
I would also suggest doing a few other unorthodox things to her while doing this just to make SURE she squeals but I don't want to hear the comments so I won't go into detail. Just make sure to MAKE her explore. Stick fingers in new places, etc. :wink: Let her tell you what she doesn't like but you have to at least try. Some women are just too modest to "go there" themselves. They need you pushing the limits politely.
Oh my dear I-wanna-meet-this-loving-ENFP-but-I-can't-cause-she-is-too-far Pink, I thought you figured me out by now. I talk about these things all the time even with women friends. I have 0 problems talking about anything that I'm concerned. NONE. I even advice each and every women that I respect to go "wild" with another woman, it will be good for her. The problem is that I keep attracting these types of women and there is nothing you can do or say about it. It's an experiential knowledge that I have to acquire not intellectual.
pinkrasputin said:
If they are not too modest, you may be able to get one to do it in front of you.
I am sure you know to start by first going down on them for a long time until they cum a few times. Take a little bit more control don't come up until they've orgasmed. When you're down there, look up at them and ask "would do you want me to do. Teach me" Be sure to ask that while your hot breath is reaching their clitoris. That's a turn on :wink: Even if she gets embarrassed or shy, continue to breathe on her spot. Keeping looking up at her and lick it and then ask "do you like that?" That's pretty damn hot.
If every woman could be like you ... the world would be a better place.
I'm playful as fuck but with dull and frigid/semi-frigid women. What can I do. Keep searching, that's what I can do. Most women on this planet are awful in bed, searching one with the level that I require is a very hard battle.
pinkrasputin said:
I really encourage you to make her orgasm with oral sex before you enter her. Don't let her tell you to just "go inside now". That is her probably giving up on your ability to make her cum with just your mouth. Prove her wrong.
Now, once inside and after you have teased the crap out of her make sure you do all those suggestions that David Daida suggests. I remember, isn't there something in the book about counting? Anyway, I also think a lot of teasing will get you very far. Hold out for a long time. I know for me, after I climax once the next two are just around the corner. So if a guy first makes me orgasm while he goes down on me, and then he enters, it doesn't matter if he starts to climax quickly. I will probably be right there with him.
If you are a person who comes super super quick, you can also go down on her and bring her to her edge. Keep asking her if she is about to cum, and when she says she is, enter her and you can both climax together.
Another thing is, I would really encourage her to climb on top of you and let her grind. Let her take control. Tell her that you like to lift you your pubic bone to feel her clit. Don't make her feel pressured to "pump" you, encourage her to go slow and grind so that she can feel your pubic bone against your clit. She will find her rhythm. Reach up to her and pull her neck down towards you in order to give her a passionate kiss while she is grinding on top of you. You probably already know about using your thumb to help her when she's on top. But I think you tilting your hips us so she can grind even more would be awesome.
Another thing is, if you really feel you climax too quickly and you also have a very short refractory period, perhaps you should be masturbating more outside of sex. This will cool your engines a bit.
All this is really good, very good, but I already know all this and plenty of it more, the problem is that you assume my partners were at that level of understanding, you don't have to be a luxury call girl to be good in bed but you need a certain level of understanding which most people don't have. I really appreciate you writing it.
pinkrasputin said:
So if you go slow, do you go limp? What about you going slow is upsetting your partners. How do you appear "not excited"? If I knew the answer to that maybe I could help you more.
I can't go slow , don't have that much patience and I believe it's also the woman that doesn't know how to temper me. I know what tempers me but women of that breed are hard to find. They have to earn my patience , they have to challenge me in a way I can't really describe, it's a body language, a certain confidence she has from her womanhood, me going slow means that she has to offer me something while I go slow, that is not an easy thing to do for a normal woman, it's actually impossible.
What really I was all about is that I have to trade my pleasure for hers by not getting too excited but I wonder if I can be excited and keep my ejaculation for a long time (probably I should search more about tantric sex ) . I need more experience , I should of not posted this, I don't have the answer for it , but there's nothing that anyone can do intellectually to "solve" my problem, I was just curious if someone else has the same issue as I do, I wasn't looking for a "fix".
Thank you very much for taking the time to write such a long answer. Now I wanna summon my ENFPness and give you some lovin'. Look what you've done to me ... :blushed: