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45 Posts
Hello, so I'm an INFP female and I met this ENFJ guy on Tinder.. I fantasized about meeting someone with my ''theoretical ideal match type'' for a while now and it happened quite unexpectedly. It clicked immediately and I really thought I had found that deep connection I was craving for so long. We really texted a lot .. we could talk for 5-6 hours in a row, non-stop. In a 6-days time lapse we talked about teaching me guitar and piano, kids, marriage, buying a house, travel.... not mentioning how much we understood each other on the emotional and moral sides. He told me he really really like me, was very attracted to me, that I was on his mind and everything cheesy you can think about. It was surreal.
Then came the moment when we started talking about our love and sex history. At first he was chill and all and then a couple minutes later, he started telling me about how he could get really jealous and that even talking about the past gets him hurt and upset.. textually: ''I know it’s not right or fair because I wasn’t even around and you’re single so you can do what you want but it does get me jealous. This isn’t a thing where I’m saying don’t tell me. It’s a thing where I’m saying, I can get jealous and you should be aware of it cause I know I’ve been really calm and chill with you but if I ever get angry, hurt or lash out.... you know why. I’m literally having a battle with the hulk in my head every time... and sometimes he wins'' ...
So I tried apologizing and he told me I have nothing to be sorry about, I did nothing wrong, it's his problem. I think I was also very understanding and supportive and showed no sign of being bothered by that.. the conversation still somewhat ended quickly but with the usual ''good night sweet dreams''. But then the day after, when I asked if he was feeling better, he just said not really, with no other words. Later that day I texted him again saying that this weakness doesn't stop me from wanting to be with him.. with no response yet more than 24 hours later. With fantastic Facebook messenger I can see that he saw my message. I can also see that he is not online as often... So now I'm really wondering what I should do.
With the Holidays around the corner I'm guessing maybe he has parties or family over, and got less time to be texting.. Or maybe he's just not wanting to go forward with me, I can't really tell. If it's got to be over then I really need closure, but I got a big whole nothing. No explanation, not even a simple ''please stop texting me''. Just plain ghosting. Should I wait? Is there any chance that he's gonna talk to me again, let's say after the holidays? If so then I don't want to spam and annoy him. But I also have a big urge to ask him to just tell me if he wants to cut contact... It's minimum respect I think...
Please give me some advice!! :\
Then came the moment when we started talking about our love and sex history. At first he was chill and all and then a couple minutes later, he started telling me about how he could get really jealous and that even talking about the past gets him hurt and upset.. textually: ''I know it’s not right or fair because I wasn’t even around and you’re single so you can do what you want but it does get me jealous. This isn’t a thing where I’m saying don’t tell me. It’s a thing where I’m saying, I can get jealous and you should be aware of it cause I know I’ve been really calm and chill with you but if I ever get angry, hurt or lash out.... you know why. I’m literally having a battle with the hulk in my head every time... and sometimes he wins'' ...
So I tried apologizing and he told me I have nothing to be sorry about, I did nothing wrong, it's his problem. I think I was also very understanding and supportive and showed no sign of being bothered by that.. the conversation still somewhat ended quickly but with the usual ''good night sweet dreams''. But then the day after, when I asked if he was feeling better, he just said not really, with no other words. Later that day I texted him again saying that this weakness doesn't stop me from wanting to be with him.. with no response yet more than 24 hours later. With fantastic Facebook messenger I can see that he saw my message. I can also see that he is not online as often... So now I'm really wondering what I should do.
With the Holidays around the corner I'm guessing maybe he has parties or family over, and got less time to be texting.. Or maybe he's just not wanting to go forward with me, I can't really tell. If it's got to be over then I really need closure, but I got a big whole nothing. No explanation, not even a simple ''please stop texting me''. Just plain ghosting. Should I wait? Is there any chance that he's gonna talk to me again, let's say after the holidays? If so then I don't want to spam and annoy him. But I also have a big urge to ask him to just tell me if he wants to cut contact... It's minimum respect I think...
Please give me some advice!! :\