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Hello everyone!

I need help typing an ex boyfriend, who I dated for about 4 months and stay in contact with. I can't decide if he is an INTJ or an ISTJ-- following is a list of his traits. Let me know if you have any more questions and I will try and think of the answers... this is just what I can come up with off the top of my head!

-Has told me he "doesn't deal well with change" (more ISTJ I think?)
-Strong need for alone time, considers himself to be (and comes off as) very independent and strong-willed
-Somewhat arrogant (he admits this) and tends to always think he is right, but in arguments he will apologize, just not as quickly as I do
-Pursuing a master's degree in engineering and is extremely dedicated-- pushes himself to get A's, spends a lot of time studying and gets easily stressed by schoolwork, always seems to be thinking about what he has to do
-Doesn't like authority and says he has no problem telling people who he considers to be idiots what he thinks of them (not exactly his wording)
-Not very emotionally demonstrative at all, not very verbal, but very understanding/supportive if I am upset
-Had no problem committing to me or being in a "relationship" fairly soon, but made it clear he didn't need to be in a relationship
-Very square-- he drinks, but not a lot, and doesn't approve of drug use etc.
-Likes grammar rules, will correct my grammar, seems intellectual and knowledge-seeking for its own sake
-Seems to hold himself to very high standards in general
-Told me that he was attracted to me because I was bold enough to flirt with him and initially called him to ask him out. He had no problem pursuing me after this.

I would think ISTJ but he does seem to be intellectual and has an independent, strong-willed aura which is what I find most attractive.

Thanks!
 

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Sounds like an INTJ to me; I've known INTJs that don't deal with change well but they still manage to do it when it is needed. What are some of his interests? Do you find him creative? Is he very traditional, meaning that he carries his families rules and traditions with him?
 

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Interests: Constantly reading BBC world news and Time Magazine, up to date on world news and politics, jogs, sails, and rock climbs, reads for pleasure when he has time, likes to watch old Westerns.

Creative... not sure if I know his thinking process well enough. He definitely does well in higher math and aced the GRE without studying. One thing I have noticed is our sense of humor doesn't always quite line up.. we do tend to find similar things funny but sometimes if I throw something out as a joke or to build up an inside joke we have, he responds in a kind of literal way and doesn't seem to pick up on it, at least in a way that I can tell.

I don't know him well enough to know if he carries on family traditions, but I know he does care and worry about his family a lot... he seems very concerned about their well-being and really loyal. Don't know if this helps at all?

Oh, and sometimes he will say something off-hand that's kind of hurtful (nothing major), but he usually catches himself (without me even saying anything) and says it came out wrong... he is never intentionally mean but sometimes a little tactless. This might be T in general though and not INTJ specific.

Thanks!
 

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Okay, I'll change it to ISTJ; But his resistance to authority has me questioning if his Ne isn't higher than most other ISTJ, which would explain why you can find similar things funny.

Another Question: Does he seem to make jumps in information, work with gaps of information, or does he always have to have all the information before making a decision?
 

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If they find similar things funny, it could have to do with the Te and Fi that INTJs and ENFPs share. I would think he seems more INTJ than ISTJ...that's just me :/
Although your answer to Wulfdot's question would probably help a lot...
 

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I don't know, I never paid close enough attention to tell if he works with gaps of information! Sorry :(
I do have emails that we have sent back and forth, I don't know if this will help or if you can analyze someone's writing style for MBTI type (I also feel like a big weirdo posting this online, hopefully he never finds it, but here goes!):

[Talking about grading papers for a class he TA's]
About grading: the issue is trying to assign points fairly when they don't get the right answer, or make a mistake, or don't show their work etc. But if I can read their writing, and they are clear, it is easy to determine if their work is correct and, if not, where their mistake lies. That's the beauty of a subject like this...there really is only one correct answer and, while there are multiple ways by which to reach it, it is also usually easy to separate correct from incorrect. However, when they're wrong, I feel like I don't have enough experience to be entirely fair, or to know how many points to give and for what. For instance, you usually see similar mistakes when people mess up, but some people document the rest of their work better and, while they still get the wrong answer, they at least demonstrate that they understand some other skill involved in solving the problem. And then some people fuck up so badly that you feel bad for them... I feel like I'm determining people's fates with my pen, haha. But I should get over it...I think it makes me too easy of a grader.

[Replying to me talking about a course I took senior yr]:
Haha, don't worry about getting too "out there", I have taken a few classes like that too. I took a couple classes from this professor (he was somewhat crazy, spoke using made-up words sometimes, took mushrooms, and spent half of each year in a tiny village in Sierra Leone). His classes were about whiteness and otherness, Modernity, the "violence" involved in reduction and categorization into Modernity, and I could go on and on. He liked me, and I did really well in those classes (I took them during my first and second quarter at UW...they were full of seniors who ate that shit up, while I was quiet but wrote my papers with my own vocabulary of made-up words). He had a funny way of grading, which perhaps I should adopt...if he liked your paper, he would give you an infinity. But, among the people I asked, I was the only one to ever get a "quantum" (which I assume is even more impressive than an infinity). I didn't have the will to inform him that "quantum" really means "discreet" (in the sciences, at least. Not colloquially I guess) and thus is not really comparable to "infinity". The whole basis of quantum physics is that you cannot continually divide energies...a quanta is the smallest bit of energy that you can have...haha.

Is this far too nerdy for an ISTJ...?
 

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Hello everyone!

I need help typing an ex boyfriend, who I dated (only) for about 4 months and stay in contact with(but not by his choice, so if I try to ask him about his type he'll ignore me). I can't decide if he is an INTJ or an ISTJ-- following is a list of his traits (according to me). Let me know if you have any more questions (about him) and I will try and think of the answers... this is just what I can come up with (wait for it!) off the top of my head!

-Has told me he "doesn't deal well with change" (Nickles and dimes? Meant take it slower? Meant what exactly?) (more ISTJ I think?)
-Strong need for alone time (Strong need for time alone from me*), considers himself to be (and comes off as (to me)) very independent and strong-willed
-Somewhat arrogant (he admits this) and tends to always think he is right, but in arguments he will apologize, just not as quickly as I do (because I'm perfect and couldn't possibly be the person in wrong)
-Pursuing a master's degree in engineering and is extremely dedicated ($_$ -Kaching!)-- pushes himself to get A's ($_$ -Kaching!), spends a lot of time studying ($_$ - Kaching! & opportunity to cheat with a guy I actually like, a nice extravert like myself!) and gets easily stressed by schoolwork (and I think it's fun to add more stress by arguing with him, calling him names like arrogant, etc.) , always seems to be thinking about what he has to do (and I think that should include me, despite that he doesn't like me.)
-Doesn't like authority and says he has no problem telling people who he considers to be idiots what he thinks of them (not exactly his wording) (I know because he calls me an idiot all the time and won't stop no matter how mean I say it is.)
-Not very emotionally demonstrative at all (that I know of), not very verbal (that I know of), but very understanding/supportive if I am upset (because he's Human, not the robot I just accused him of before the end of the same sentence.)
-Had no problem committing to me (while testing the waters to see if I was worth it) or being in a "relationship" fairly soon, but made it clear he didn't need to be in a relationship (IOW made it clear he had the strength to dump me if I didn't prove worth his time.)
-Very square (and lame, and boring, what a, like, total loser!) -- he drinks, but not a lot (because he's a nerd), and doesn't approve of drug use (because he's a nerd) etc. (etc. blah, blah, blah... I think he's a loser... Why did I ever date him in the first place? Does that make me a loser? Oh, no! I hope my B(oys)F(or)F(***)s don't find out!)
-Likes grammar rules (while I obviously don't give a flying dung about how stupid I look), will correct my grammar (because I'm an idiot, like he says), seems intellectual and knowledge-seeking for its own sake (which is SO not the definition of an intellectual or scholar, right? Nah, because we peeps who don't care about grammar are the scholars! Those of us who only learn what's required to not fail a class or get fired from a job are the geniuses!)
-Seems to hold himself to very high standards in general (while I have no standards at all, save the one that I will marry a man out of my league for his money! So, help me find out his type so I can figure out how to manipulate him into taking me back!)
-Told me that he was attracted to me because I was bold enough to flirt with him (because most people mistakenly assume Introverts are reserved out of disinterest or unavailability and don't bother trying) and initially called him to ask him out. (...because he wasn't going to ask me out because he's not into me. In fact, I threw myself onto him to have him those four months! And, I'm still trying to rap-I mean sna-Imean-catc-I mean win his love!) He had no problem pursuing me after this. (Yep... All him... I initiated the flirtation, and the calling, but it was his fault, he is so the one into me, that loser.)

I would think ISTJ but he does seem to be intellectual (not like I'd know the difference between a real intellectual and someone just trying to overachieve for career success) and has an independent, strong-willed aura (so I claim, but I'm a fake psychic seeing as I couldn't tell this relationship was blatantly doomed from the start) which is what I find most attractive. (No, wasn't at all his money. Had to be the aI can't see because I'm not a psychic.)

Thanks!
Sorry, but I just had to. You're clearly stalking this guy.
FYI: I'm an INTJ, and if I ever dated someone like you it'd be purely by mistake, and it'd definitely end before 6 months by way of me dumping him. And, FYI, I block guys like you online, and would no doubt call the cops or something if treated like that in person. You can't go around forcing yourself on men and thinking it's okay just because you're the one with a "vajayjay." He wasn't into you, you were into him. He clearly dumped you for quite a few reasons, and my stronger than yours iNtuition tells me you wanted the info of his type (without his awareness of you having that info., or of how you got it) so you could manipulate your way back onto his lap. That's called rape, sweety.
 

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Sorry, but I just had to. You're clearly stalking this guy.
FYI: I'm an INTJ, and if I ever dated someone like you it'd be purely by mistake, and it'd definitely end before 6 months by way of me dumping him. And, FYI, I block guys like you online, and would no doubt call the cops or something if treated like that in person. You can't go around forcing yourself on men and thinking it's okay just because you're the one with a "vajayjay." He wasn't into you, you were into him. He clearly dumped you for quite a few reasons, and my stronger than yours iNtuition tells me you wanted the info of his type (without his awareness of you having that info., or of how you got it) so you could manipulate your way back onto his lap. That's called rape, sweety.
Helpful :dry:

I'm not too good at the whole 'guess the type thing' but he does sound quite a lot like the only ISTJ I know (my father-in-law). He also doesn't deal with authority well, and has a lot of stories about revenge he got on people who 'screwed him over' because they felt they could as they were in a position of power over him.

That said, he also sounds he has INTJ traits (helpful too, I know...).

Have you looked at the cognitive functions model? INTJs (Ni-dom) and ISTJs (Si-dom) have very different dominant cognitive functions, although I don't know how well you knew him.

This might be helpful in determining his dominant function.
 

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yeah, just forget him or rape him. either way he looks like an istj. no intj likes to jog, sail or rock climb, those are usually istj things. westerns too. intjs like hard sci fi
 

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ZOMG YES! I have a need to REPOST THIS EVERYWHERE, for its sheer WIN.
 

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My brother is an INTJ and my father is an ISTJ. When you describe your Ex, it sounds reminiscent of both but it seems to resonate more with my brother. I'd say your ex is an INTJ. Oh, and my brother likes to jog, and he's going to do surface ships in the navy.
 
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