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So, I tend to cry when someone is irritated at me or yells at me. Today, while starting to practice my driving, my father got irritated and yelled at me in the driveway, which made me irritated back, and so he yelled even louder and I turned off the car and ran back to the house crying.

It has been a while since I have gotten upset like this. But it is my FIRST time being upset like this and knowing I am an HSP. First observation I notice, is boy am I overwhelmed and how quick that feeling sets in and how quick my fight/flight response is. It's so quick! Since learning I was an HSP, I wondered if there was any material I could find that could help me temper this reaction in myself...but I haven't found it and today after really feeling it and how quick it comes, I'm starting to think the answer is that maybe...I can't temper this reaction. I probably would have fought harder to keep my cool if the car was moving and it would be unsafe to flee.

Anyways, during situations like this I would typically go to my room and sob and play music or tv and think over and over again how much it sucks to be misunderstood and treated so bad and feel so bad.

Well, I did go to my room and sob and thought some negative self-put down thoughts...but I did my best to stop thinking such things...then I also decided to try to sleep. I NEVER sleep when I am upset, but since learning that I am an HSP, I wanted to try it. I wanted to try thinking that I am upset right now, NOT because I am emotionally weak, but because my "system was frazzled". haha. It's sort of silly, but I wanted to try thinking in this new way. I turned off the light and tried to relax myself, to sort of de-stimulate....well, an hour has passed (just lying in the dark for a while) and I am feeling better and sort of surprised that I feel better so soon.

I am also surprised that I actually don't feel bitter towards my dad (which is how I usually feel in cases like this)...I think it is natural for him to be impatient and I doubt he is a HSP like me who knows what I feel like...so this is kind of a new turning point, that I actually have some empathy for the supposed "perpetrator". I know that he "doesn't mean it" to be so mean that I feel paralyzed with bad feelings.

And a new thing I am realizing is that I "don't mean" to be so emotional...it's so automatic.

Anyways, I know in the end that public perception sees me as weak, but I'm gonna have to learn to bring up my self-esteem and worth, in order to combat such negativity.
 
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