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Discussion Starter #1
What am I ? Depending on the day, I feel strongly that I’m an 8- wanting to fight to protect others, not wanting to be controlled, can’t imagine being/posing as someone other than who I am.

other days, I’m convinced I’m a 4. I just want to be seen, known, cherished and fought for.

I think I’m an extrovert. I get a ton of energy from being around people when we’re connecting, but when I’m in crowds and I’m not connecting to people, I just want to go home and hide lol. So ‘friends’ think I’m an INFP 4, but my husband thinks I’m an introverted ENFP 8w7.

I test high in the 8, 7, 3, and 4 categories.
I’ve transitioned from being an entrepreneur and feeling really confident about myself to pursuing ministry and worship leading after moving to a place that I’m sure has given me culture shock lol.

Please help. Lol.
 

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Not enough information to type you on, but I would trust your husband instead of your friends. He would know you better.
 

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Not enough information to type you on, but I would trust your husband instead of your friends. He would know you better.
Well I’ve only been married 2 months lol so although my husband should know me better, I think some of my friends who have known my 10+ years have more experiences to base their thoughts on haha
 

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So I found this questionnaire, hopefully it assists in typing me.


0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
  • I’ve been in a new job for the last two years that I feel very insecure in, despite it being a dream position. My job environment has a very different culture than anything I’ve experienced before. Just got married 2 months ago and I’m a 28 y/o F.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
  • thoughts: this is interesting. What do we have readily available to solve this problem. Excited for the change of plans and the experience.
  • Outward reactions: joke and find a solution. Encourage ppl that we’ll be on our way soon and this is a part of the journey.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
  • if I felt like I was able to let loose at the concert and be myself I would be 100% down to go to the party. If I didnt feel like I could be myself, I would get a taxi home.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
  • inward reaction: accept and process what they’re saying. Try to find and relate to the reason they have their beliefs.
  • Outward: affirm their process, share my own beliefs and why
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
  • I’m not sure
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
  • freedom,vulnerability, authenticity, boldness, courage, being a leader. Knowing God and being known by God.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
  • I’m unwavering in who I believe myself to be. I don’t change to suit others preferences or beliefs and I won’t do something unless I want to. If I could change something, it would be my insecurities and my fear of what people think of me. I think comparison and fear hinder me from being authentically who I am.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
  • I process them and determine what is the root of the gut feeling and typically follow them. They’re mostly triggered in relational moments with ppl.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
  • Hanging out with friends and doing something fun, adventurous, new or silly. Being able to let loose with people. In addition to creating and setting goals for the ideas I have.
  • Drains: not being able to be myself in any environment. Having to follow someone’s leadership that feels stifling. Doing something I don’t want to do.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
  • the things I find to be the most vulnerable which can sometimes be my expressions of excitement, joy, tenderness, empowerment, etc
 

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So I found this questionnaire, hopefully it assists in typing me.


0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
  • I’ve been in a new job for the last two years that I feel very insecure in, despite it being a dream position. My job environment has a very different culture than anything I’ve experienced before. Just got married 2 months ago and I’m a 28 y/o F.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
  • thoughts: this is interesting. What do we have readily available to solve this problem. Excited for the change of plans and the experience.
  • Outward reactions: joke and find a solution. Encourage ppl that we’ll be on our way soon and this is a part of the journey.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
  • if I felt like I was able to let loose at the concert and be myself I would be 100% down to go to the party. If I didnt feel like I could be myself, I would get a taxi home.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
  • inward reaction: accept and process what they’re saying. Try to find and relate to the reason they have their beliefs.
  • Outward: affirm their process, share my own beliefs and why
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
  • I’m not sure
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
  • freedom,vulnerability, authenticity, boldness, courage, being a leader. Knowing God and being known by God.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
  • I’m unwavering in who I believe myself to be. I don’t change to suit others preferences or beliefs and I won’t do something unless I want to. If I could change something, it would be my insecurities and my fear of what people think of me. I think comparison and fear hinder me from being authentically who I am.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
  • I process them and determine what is the root of the gut feeling and typically follow them. They’re mostly triggered in relational moments with ppl.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
  • Hanging out with friends and doing something fun, adventurous, new or silly. Being able to let loose with people. In addition to creating and setting goals for the ideas I have.
  • Drains: not being able to be myself in any environment. Having to follow someone’s leadership that feels stifling. Doing something I don’t want to do.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
  • the things I find to be the most vulnerable which can sometimes be my expressions of excitement, joy, tenderness, empowerment, etc
Unfortunately, for most of these questions, I was unable to look into your thought process because you did not answer most of the "why" portions of the questions. As a result, most of the answers are- hate to say this but- they were surface level. You could also explain better by being more specific. For example, I don't know what you do for a living. I have no idea what sort of job you are reacting to- maybe you like that job because you get to hear different people stories, maybe you like that job because it engages your brain and you get to learn new things, maybe you like that job because you one gets to control you...

I'm also not convinced you're an N or an F. Well first, there's no indication of any proclivity towards ideas or abstractions. (aside from the fact you posted on this forum, but there are plenty of Sensors who do so as well.) I also can't trust why you talk about feelings sometimes. Possibly you have some sort of thought process to replicate it or something.

Sorry if this post sounded mean, it wasn't meant to be. I just didn't get to know you, and if I don't know you, I can't type you.
 
I saw evidence of Fi, and evidence of ExxP but weak evidence for being a ExxP
 

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I'm serious. Ask him if he was trying to rate your relationship with him when he said you're an 8, and let me know what face he will make
Ask the friend too, giving a friend a 4 seems kinda mean.
 

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INFJ 4w3 sp/sx
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"My husband thinks I'm an 8, my friends think I'm a 4"
No offenses here and I don't want to be mean, but what are the odds neither your husband nor your friends know very well how the Enneagram works?

FWIW (I agree with @secondpassing there isn't much here to work on) I'm not getting the 8 or the 4 vibe. I'm thinking you may be something else.
 
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