Personality Cafe banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
272 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This probably isn't really related to type that much in reality, but I'd like some advice on how to broach the matter I guess. I've posted this in the ISFP section, but maybe some ISFJ perspectives on the situation would be handy as well. Stop me from going all Ne worst case scenario and acting inappropriately.

My girlfriend isn't much of a texter. She doesn't really call either. Anyhow I usually interact with her through skype. But since it's exam period, I decided to cut back on the long 3+ hour conversations by not logging on. She knows that too. So we've been texting every now and then to keep in contact.

Last night I felt stressed out from all the work. So I dropped her a text about how unprepared I was. I guess I was looking for some words of encouragement or support but it's been more than 24 hours and I haven't really gotten any text message back. This isn't anything new though. It's random in when I'd get a reply, sometimes it's be within hours. Other times it'd be 2-3 days later (Amusing that there's another thread about ISFPs and texting).

I decided just a while ago to give her a phone call, but I just got the voice message instead. She often doesn't have her phone on her, so I've gotten used to the fact that it she probably won't pick up. In fact, I'm extremely surprised and taken aback when she does. It's that rare I guess?

But onto the main point. Despite having missed my calls, my girlfriend doesn't ever seem to return these missed phone calls. Sometimes she'll apologise through text for not receiving my calls. Other times, I won't hear anything from her for a few days and it's as if I never actually called her.

It's a bit confusing? I'm just wondering whether it's something I should bring up with her (I probably should) but how to approach the topic? I don't want to seem like I complaining again about her not really calling or texting back. We're totally different in our needs for communication.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,761 Posts
Wait until after exams are over to bring it up. You should definitely have a talk about when you are communicating. Maybe she just doesn't like phones very much? I can definitely be the same way.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,721 Posts
I think this is type related...I think ISFPs tend to be much more independent than ISFJs. Sometimes they find ISFJs to be clingy. I think it's down to Fe vs. Fi.


It sounds to me like compromising is the best thing. On your part, I think it would help if you only contact her when it's something you feel is really important emotionally. If it's something you think you'd be ok without mentioning it to her, then let it slide and try to not contact her.


But, in return, you and her could agree that if it is something important, and you feel like you really need to talk to her, then she'll agree to always pick up or respond. You might even be able to include it in the text.

That way she wouldn't feel as overwhelmed, and you would still be able to talk to her any time you feel like you really need to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jem11899
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top