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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi guys! Lately I've been wondering about my mom's personality type. Of course I could just ask her to take a Myers-Brigg personality test online, but I don't think she's in the mood to do something like that right now. Here's a brief description of her:

* She is for sure an ExFx - incredibly extroverted & also outgoing.
* My dad is an ENFP and for the most part they do get along, but when they fight with one another things can get very loud. They bounce back pretty quickly.
* She values sensitivity in other people to the point where she sees less sensitive people (such as my INTJ sister) as being flawed.
* She is very religious and spiritual, has principles that are set in stone.
* She sounds like an ENFP when I describe her here, but I really don't think that she's an ENFP. There's just something different about her that isn't like my dad but I just can't put my finger on it.
* She's less open-minded than my dad.
* 90% of the time when she interacts with my INTJ sister they end up arguing with each other. My INTJ sister loves talking with my ENFP dad (the whole ENFP x INTJ thing). I think that this further proves how my mom is not an ENFP, because if she were an ENFP my sister would be more interested in whatever she has to say.
* This probably has more to do with me than her, but I feel like she misunderstands me a lot as an INFP. She perceives me as cold, distant, and rigid/perfectionist. I feel like if she were to type me she would say I'm like an INFJ. She's aware that I'm sensitive and everything, but she just perceives me kind of differently I think.
* She will put me on a pedestal at times and compare me to herself when she was younger.

I'm thinking she could be an ESFJ or an ENFJ and she could be projecting her feelings of being more rigid and uptight onto me, but I'm not sure. I wanted to hear your guys' input on this. Please feel free to ask any questions on how she generally behaves :)
 

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Defintely EXFJ if it's true about her being extremely rigid about her values, but a lot of INFPs express anger at SJs not understanding them, so I would say ESFJ. Problem is, if she bounces back well with your dad, I wouldn't say Si, which an ESFJ uses, unless her desire for harmony and Fe rules out despite her objections, but on the other hand,

She will put me on a pedestal at times and compare me to herself when she was younger.
this seems incredibly Si. Unbelievably Si. All Si relatives I know do this. So I'm going to stick with ESFJ.
 

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Defintely EXFJ if it's true about her being extremely rigid about her values, but a lot of INFPs express anger at SJs not understanding them, so I would say ESFJ. Problem is, if she bounces back well with your dad, I wouldn't say Si, which an ESFJ uses, unless her desire for harmony and Fe rules out despite her objections, but on the other hand,



this seems incredibly Si. Unbelievably Si. All Si relatives I know do this. So I'm going to stick with ESFJ.
Contrasting and comparing is an Ne/Si thing. I noticed Grace did it herself as well, by comparing her to her dad. :)

There's not much information to go by, but the little you gave us corresponds with ESFJ quite well. Critical of the cold, aloof, distant and insensitive? I'd go with Fe/Ti Si/Ne valuing, but with such little information there could be a loophole I'm missing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Now that I've read stuff online specific to ESFJs, I am really starting to think that she's an ESFJ. I'm not sure what else to include, but I feel like I did leave this out: she's insecure about herself, and she has been for what seems like her whole life. As a child her mom showed a lot of favoritism toward her younger sister and was (and still is, to be honest) very critical of her. I think because of this she expects bad outcomes over positive outcomes and can be hard on herself. Some times she will say things that are extremely ignorant and biased and my INTJ sister (of course) will be the only one who will be brave enough to point this out to her and offer her some constructive criticism. My mom will react very dramatically, call my sister rude and insensitive, and then go on to say something about how she feels attacked. She doesn't respond well to criticism at all. My dad usually, to avoid conflict, will side with my mom in a situation like this. Overall I'd say she can focus too much on how others perceive her (self-conscious), is very altruistic and genuinely kind, is incredibly stubborn in her ways, and does not respond well to criticism. I'm not sure what else to include, but if you need to know anything more to determine whether she's ESFJ or something else then just ask (thank you both for your insightful responses, btw!)
 
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