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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
This is mostly a blog. This has been on my mind today so I thought I would share it with you. If you're not interested in my life story, then disregard this thread. I'm mostly getting it off my chest.

My mother had Multiple Sclerosis. She was diagnosed just 3 months after I was born though I know that she was in the early stages probably from a year leading up to that. I have learned that there are different stages of MS. My mother had the most progressive kind. She lost had to use a cane at the age of 26. By age 29, she had to use a scooter. Then it got much worse.

When she was just in her 30s, she had to put in a nursing home. She had become completley paralyzed from the neck down. Her speech was slurred. I had to put my ear right up to her mouth in order to hear her. I seemed to be one of the very few people who could understand her.

My father was ashamed that he wasn't able to take care of her. They never got along anway. He became an alcoholic. My grandparents took custody of me. I visted my mother every weekend. I would always bring a movie with me. Her favorite was Spaceballs- she seemed to really like comedies for some reason.
She was a very fun-loving and free-spirited person dispite her illness. I had fun joking around with her when I was younger. I think a lot of my sense of humor comes from her.

She died of pneumonia when I was 18. Her body was too frail to fight off the disease. It was the middle of my senior year of high school. I developed insomnia, and I wanted to DO something about it even though there was really nothing that could be done. It seemed so unfair to me.

I found out about the MS Walks that the MS Society has, and I raised money for them once a year for six years. Then, I stopped, because I became too issolated from the rest of the world to raise money, and I was flat broke myself. This was during my "self-imporvement" Era which lasted until a couple of months ago when I found out that I was an INFJ and- due to my fantasic insight :wink:- I became self-actualized.

I want to start doing the Walks again. They have them every April. I don't know if I'll be able to raise money for it for this April. Maybe I can though.

I miss mom. :sad:
 

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Sorry to hear about your loss. Though the fact she could hold her humor intact in the face of ultimatum is quite impressive and deserves respect. (Also, I must mention she had a fine taste in comedies)

I'd like to point out term you have used here. It is "self-actualized". Not to stray from the point of this thread, but what exactly does that term mean to you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I know myself inside and out. I recognize all my weaknesses and all my potential. I am completley honest with myself about everything now. I have no pride whatsoever. Everything is what it is, and I don't try to fool myself into thinking that it is any other way or that I am something that I am not.

I know that I cannot be perfect, but I am trying to do better on my weak areas. I am trying to be the best person that I can be.
 

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dsv2e - I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I imagine sometimes you need to just talk. Tonight I feel like doing the same, but I don't have the courage to do it. Your efforts are astounding considering what happened to you, and I appreciate more the other thread you started about internal and external processes. You are really doing a lot for yourself, keep on plugging away, on self-development and doing whatever else you need to do.
 

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Wow. You're a very strong person and I admire how well you dealt with the difficult times. I'm really glad that MBTI could help you improve yourself.

Good luck in raising money! We're rooting for you! :laughing:
 

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You are an inspiration. Your mother and you are blessed to have had eachother. As Female INFJ had said, it takes a lot of courage to speak about these things. Keep on keeping on. It's truly rare to see someone who can find their blessings in disguise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 · (Edited)
Thanks everyone,

It's hard for me to stay off of this forum sometimes. Sometimes, I wake up randomly in the night and get on here. Ever since I started my "crusade", I am pretty much focused here unless I get out of the house and am around other people.

There's still a little bit of "perfectionism" left in me, and I'm trying to deal with that. I worry sometimes that I don't make myself clear in my posts. I am very serious about my writing and about getting my intentions across.

There is a well-thoughtout reason for the words that I choose but maybe my tone doesn't come through right sometimes. Perhaps interpersonal communication would be more benifical.

I need to sleep so bad. Everyone please take care of yourselves. I may have to force myself to stay off of here for a few days.
 

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As the others have said, you are an inspiration. I'm sorry about your Mum and that you had to go through such pain and loss at such a young age.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It is encouraging to see where you come from and where you are headed.
 
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