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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When it comes to love, I once thought:

1) That finding in the partner certain similarities that remind me of myself would make it an ideal relationship. Not so much. It can be confusing whether it's genuine attraction or many moments of ''oh my, another one just like me!'' which create comfort. It must be hard to wonder at some point whether it is the person I am actually wanting or I'm falling in love with myself all over again (LOL!) My life has been a learning series of differentiating between actual love and comfort (trust me, being me, that got kind of hard and dramatic).

Falling into those patterns got me in an abusive relationship once. It led us to be trapped into playing revenge games afterwards, ouch.

2) I used to think it would be enough that the person would love me and understand me completely. While it would fulfill me in lala land and me wanting to feel like some young dreams can actually be forever, I realize that's not enough. The ideal person has to actually help me grow or push me in desired directions. To achieve that, there has to be some sufficient degree of self actualization both on his part and mine. Or at least that I can feel like I can still rely on him with some hope even after some of the toughest storms have passed.

An old impression I have about love that never goes away until now:

When I fall in love for real, I always hate the idea of possibly caring too much whether other people define it as right or wrong. This has been a source of friction and conflict for me with certain people in my life. I tend to bulldoze my way at times, regardless of what other people might say and I tend to show extreme irritation whenever people seem to want to force their ideas that how I ''fall in love'' might be wrong. That never changes until today, surprisingly. I want love to be something entirely personal and spiritual for myself.
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