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There's a kinda barrier between my mum and dad. They are always arguing. Of course,in their opinions,they themselves are correct but since our childhood,we are taught that only father is wrong. Because my mum is very frank and close to us so she would gossip about dad and tell us how she has suffered so much. Whereas my dad was always out of town due to work and never got time to instigate us against mum. And because we have always listened everything against dad, we would always take mum's side in every argument. I admit, mum has suffered a lot due to dad's family but still I don't wanna blame dad for anything. Mum thinks dad just cares about his family(i.e.,my paternal relatives) and doesn't care about us. This is what is fitted in our minds from beginning. As i have grown older now, i can understand who is right and who is wrong. And i conclude that there is just a very little understanding about each other and nobody is to be blamed.
Few days ago, another fight took place. They probably won't speak to each other for a long time. They are eating and sleeping in separate rooms.
Although it's very normal at my home, I have seen all this since i was a kid, still it affects everytime any argument happens. I know both of my siblings get affected too but they won't express it. And i guess, being youngest, i am more than just affected. Today i was again reminded of this issue by mum. She was complaining again about dad. That's why i came here. It's a new stress in my mind. I sometimes get those weird feelings in my heart area. I am not hopeless at all because i am praying for them but the effect it has on me is just indescribable


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There's a kinda barrier between my mum and dad. They are always arguing. Of course,in their opinions,they themselves are correct but since our childhood,we are taught that only father is wrong. Because my mum is very frank and close to us so she would gossip about dad and tell us how she has suffered so much. Whereas my dad was always out of town due to work and never got time to instigate us against mum. And because we have always listened everything against dad, we would always take mum's side in every argument. I admit, mum has suffered a lot due to dad's family but still I don't wanna blame dad for anything. Mum thinks dad just cares about his family(i.e.,my paternal relatives) and doesn't care about us. This is what is fitted in our minds from beginning. As i have grown older now, i can understand who is right and who is wrong. And i conclude that there is just a very little understanding about each other and nobody is to be blamed.
Few days ago, another fight took place. They probably won't speak to each other for a long time. They are eating and sleeping in separate rooms.
Although it's very normal at my home, I have seen all this since i was a kid, still it affects everytime any argument happens. I know both of my siblings get affected too but they won't express it. And i guess, being youngest, i am more than just affected. Today i was again reminded of this issue by mum. She was complaining again about dad. That's why i came here. It's a new stress in my mind. I sometimes get those weird feelings in my heart area. I am not hopeless at all because i am praying for them but the effect it has on me is just indescribable


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Hey man, sorry to hear about your parents. It's a tough gig that's for sure.
Why don't you try talking to your parents? I doubt it will make them see eye-to-eye (and it will probably be the toughest thing you ever do), but at least they will hear your perspective.

Well bro, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me anytime.
 
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So sorry to read that. Can you ask your mother not to say those things to you?

Even if she won't stop, can you politely excuse yourself and go to your room or leave the house? I do this often with a friend who goes on about things I don't want to hear: "Sorry, I can't hear this any more" or "I have to leave now."
 

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There's a kinda barrier between my mum and dad. They are always arguing. Of course,in their opinions,they themselves are correct but since our childhood,we are taught that only father is wrong. Because my mum is very frank and close to us so she would gossip about dad and tell us how she has suffered so much. Whereas my dad was always out of town due to work and never got time to instigate us against mum. And because we have always listened everything against dad, we would always take mum's side in every argument. I admit, mum has suffered a lot due to dad's family but still I don't wanna blame dad for anything. Mum thinks dad just cares about his family(i.e.,my paternal relatives) and doesn't care about us. This is what is fitted in our minds from beginning. As i have grown older now, i can understand who is right and who is wrong. And i conclude that there is just a very little understanding about each other and nobody is to be blamed.
Few days ago, another fight took place. They probably won't speak to each other for a long time. They are eating and sleeping in separate rooms.
Although it's very normal at my home, I have seen all this since i was a kid, still it affects everytime any argument happens. I know both of my siblings get affected too but they won't express it. And i guess, being youngest, i am more than just affected. Today i was again reminded of this issue by mum. She was complaining again about dad. That's why i came here. It's a new stress in my mind. I sometimes get those weird feelings in my heart area. I am not hopeless at all because i am praying for them but the effect it has on me is just indescribable


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Sorry to hear that. Watching the two people who brought you into this world acting like that can create all sorts of insecurities and issues. Your parents are your primary teachers of how to communicate in healthy ways with others, as you grow up, and they did not model that behavior for you and your siblings very well. That can seriously impact your future. You may benefit from talking to a professional, as this may affect how you relate to a potential partner someday. I hope you find the help you need. Good luck!
 
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