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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
How to deal with immaturity and conflict in values

Overview of the situation is that we've formed committees in our university for different nationalities. My country's committee is working closely with one of the other nation's, however i can see conflicts start to arise :frustrating:...Recently, we had an informal gathering and a group of my committee came 2 hours late. Although it was informal, at that particular time they entered, the presidents were making announcements so the group was asked to wait outside by the other nation's head. They took this very personally and left. Nowadays they have started stating, on our online forum for announcements, that they were "ill-treated" and that next time gatherings should involve only our own nationality :shocked:.

My point of view: Their statement was a big blow as the leader of the other nation (who they were mad against) is the person who had a major role in the formation of our country's committee. This seems to me as ungrateful, immature and unreasonable of them :angry:, not to mention working with other nationalities is inevitable, we must learn to work together, not just within our own nationality. I've worked with that particular group on previous occasions and they are all of similar nature i.e. lack of responsibility and value for others time. Eg: They volunteer for work but they always back out in the end

My reaction: By the time I was aware of the situation, the group had left the gathering so I was not in the center of the conflict. However knowing that these problems have risen and seeing their posts on the forum, more problems are anticipated, it upsets me a great deal. I don't know if its because I am an ISFJ but while dealing with conflicts I become extremely stressed and panic. I have difficulty in controlling emotions, thinking clearly and standing my ground :unsure:. I would really appreciate any insight fellow ISFJs or other types have in how to approach this conflict. I am considering asking someone who can deal with conflicts better to help resolve this, however I would like to improve myself too if possible. Also, perhaps i may have overlooked certain things that justify the group's reaction although I don't see it now...was it really justified or was it just immaturity on their part
 

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Seems like a tactic more than immaturity. They most likely arrived late to be noticed as they were. In fact, their behavior is more than likely a ploy to get the other groups more pliable to their demands/input. However, this is a student committee, so it could just be inexperience.
 

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Tell them that while it's informal and voluntary, they can't speak for their whole party/nationality, and to adress people in person when discussing conflicts, saying it online only serves to make them look like they're being passive agressive, that it was about turning up so late, and it was during an important part of the meeting, not because of anyone's nationality that they were asked to wait outside - you can let them know that you felt the same way as the person who asked them to wait outside - and any others who feel the same as you could too. If they value the meeting enough to feel ill treated about not being able to attend they should make more of an effort to match their actions to their wishes.
 
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