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Has anyone found any useful methods for dealing with the opposing sides of their INFP personality?

I have found that the Fi/Ne side of me desires something (which I can't yet identify) much different from what my Si/Te side has brought me in life. I have largely embraced the Si/Te side of me, because I live in a very expensive area (SF) and cannot survive unless I force myself to be productive.

But a couple times each week I notice myself rushing home after work feeling angry and stressed, or noticing a deep sense of dissatisfaction or emptiness when calming down at night.

Surely it's part of the young adult experience. But I do wonder if other INFPs have made use of any techniques to realign or bring to light their desires, and operationalize them in some way.

If you'd like to read more about what I'm referring to, when talking about the Fi/Ne - Si/Te pull, I'm referring to this blog post: INFP Personality Type: The Creative Seeker

Thanks for your time.
 

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Based off the article it looks like you may have an identity crisis soon? And that we cannot skip to developing Te but have to develop the 1st 3 first and that our functions won't be developed until we are nearing 40. So yea that article was a good read and contributed to me doubting life even more.

Sorry I don't have any constructive info to answer your question.
 

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USE THAT NE OF YOURS MR. If you want a damn satisfying life then start brainstorming! YOU SHOULD BE A CREATIVE FRICKEN MONSTER OF AN INFP. You're an adult. Have some fun. Survival is insufficient ;)
You can either keep processing the world using your Te or you can simply start to use your true strength of Ne to express yourself, and it's in using your Ne that you'll be happiest, so you might as well start now. So... You know... Maybe just use these blimmin' tips and start brainstorming on a big bit of paper? Grap a pen. Use your Ne. :crazy:.

I dunno I hope this makes sense, I'm currently learning about the functions. Here goooooes!

Tip number 1. Is to experience the world MORE. EVERY DAY. Do something every day that you have never done before and your world will grow extraordinarily fast. Do something for yourself. Do something with someone else. Go on an adventure. Talk to somebody new (mmm, try out an ISTJ). Watch something funny. Experience other's people's art. Honestly. Just experience the external world, explore it, explore it, explore it, explore it, explore it. The world's your... Oyster? KEEP LEARNING ABOUT THE WORLD. Use all your new experience to evaluate what you value personally, what you want and what you dream of. Using Ne with Fi is mm.

Tip number 2. Choose something. Choose a freaking OUTLET! We are the CREATORS! :tongue: All because of our Ne and because of our beautiful Fi which you've abandoned :heart-borken:. Think about the arts. Music, writing, painting/sketching, photography, film, theater. AND MAKE THINGS. Express yourself in a way that's totally not Te when you get home. Have you ever had an interest in other cultures? What were you interested in as a child? Use your Si to get you excited about what once was. What did you get excited about? What did people say "wow" to you about your skills when you were just a little fellah? Think about some of those funny little dreams you've had that you haven't actually really ever forgotten? And then choose one. Choose a hobby and go hard. Just go freaking hard. Use those developed inferior functions of yours and make the blimmen time. Don't take your time to choose. Be impulsive, use your Ne and Fi. If you wanna learn the guitar, learn the guitar. If you wanna learn how to draw figures as well as Leonardo Da Vinci, or cook in the kitchen better than Ramsay, CHOP CHOP.

Tip number 3. People are important. A wiide variety of people are important. A handful of trustworthy, real people to explore the world and discuss ideas with are also (much more) important, but I like to think acquaintances first. Grow a new network of acquaintances. Talk to people, learn from people. Have a soda with someone interesting and try and connect with them! Make NFJ friends, NFP friends, STP friends and STJ friends. Make SFJ and SFP friends. Make all the friends! Having a safe network is important to everybody when they're feeling empty and tired and perhaps a little terrified.

Keep using Te! Use it to have realistic goals etc etc.
Keep being objective
Use Te to support your Fi.

The more you explore and experiment, the more you'll know what you want deep down. The best way is to start with your primary and secondary functions, your other's aren't naturally your strong points and should come naturally with your Fi and Ne.
Whether you end up needing to leave your expensive home to start exploring, or you work out a way to use your Fi/Ne while you're in the grip of Te is up to you.
 

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USE THAT NE OF YOURS MR. If you want a damn satisfying life then start brainstorming! YOU SHOULD BE A CREATIVE FRICKEN MONSTER OF AN INFP. You're an adult. Have some fun. Survival is insufficient ;)
You can either keep processing the world using your Te or you can simply start to use your true strength of Ne to express yourself, and it's in using your Ne that you'll be happiest, so you might as well start now. So... You know... Maybe just use these blimmin' tips and start brainstorming on a big bit of paper? Grap a pen. Use your Ne. :crazy:.

I dunno I hope this makes sense, I'm currently learning about the functions. Here goooooes!

Tip number 1. Is to experience the world MORE. EVERY DAY. Do something every day that you have never done before and your world will grow extraordinarily fast. Do something for yourself. Do something with someone else. Go on an adventure. Talk to somebody new (mmm, try out an ISTJ). Watch something funny. Experience other's people's art. Honestly. Just experience the external world, explore it, explore it, explore it, explore it, explore it. The world's your... Oyster? KEEP LEARNING ABOUT THE WORLD. Use all your new experience to evaluate what you value personally, what you want and what you dream of. Using Ne with Fi is mm.

Tip number 2. Choose something. Choose a freaking OUTLET! We are the CREATORS! :tongue: All because of our Ne and because of our beautiful Fi which you've abandoned :heart-borken:. Think about the arts. Music, writing, painting/sketching, photography, film, theater. AND MAKE THINGS. Express yourself in a way that's totally not Te when you get home. Have you ever had an interest in other cultures? What were you interested in as a child? Use your Si to get you excited about what once was. What did you get excited about? What did people say "wow" to you about your skills when you were just a little fellah? Think about some of those funny little dreams you've had that you haven't actually really ever forgotten? And then choose one. Choose a hobby and go hard. Just go freaking hard. Use those developed inferior functions of yours and make the blimmen time. Don't take your time to choose. Be impulsive, use your Ne and Fi. If you wanna learn the guitar, learn the guitar. If you wanna learn how to draw figures as well as Leonardo Da Vinci, or cook in the kitchen better than Ramsay, CHOP CHOP.

Tip number 3. People are important. A wiide variety of people are important. A handful of trustworthy, real people to explore the world and discuss ideas with are also (much more) important, but I like to think acquaintances first. Grow a new network of acquaintances. Talk to people, learn from people. Have a soda with someone interesting and try and connect with them! Make NFJ friends, NFP friends, STP friends and STJ friends. Make SFJ and SFP friends. Make all the friends! Having a safe network is important to everybody when they're feeling empty and tired and perhaps a little terrified.

Keep using Te! Use it to have realistic goals etc etc.
Keep being objective
Use Te to support your Fi.

The more you explore and experiment, the more you'll know what you want deep down. The best way is to start with your primary and secondary functions, your other's aren't naturally your strong points and should come naturally with your Fi and Ne.
Whether you end up needing to leave your expensive home to start exploring, or you work out a way to use your Fi/Ne while you're in the grip of Te is up to you.
I like this post, the Fi is strong with this one.
 

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I really feel you with this one -- I have also had to embrace my Si/Te side. It's hard to step out of it because it's honestly satisfying to be productive. At the same time, I would never want this for my whole life (at least not without an end goal).

I try to utilize the Si/Te towards my Fi/Ne goals. For instance, if you really like animals and feel passionate towards their cause, you can start volunteering at a shelter. Or if you think you want to travel, you can work and save up to go to Europe. These are just ideas that I've had for myself, but the point is to not let your Si/Te keep going without getting something out of it for yourself (or your Fi/Ne part).

It's a little different if you're not sure what it is will make you happy or satisfy that part of yourself. But I'm sure there are causes, hobbies, etc that you care more about than others. Even if it's just a curiosity or a slight feeling, those things are worth exploring. As said before, connecting and talking to other people or making new friends helps as well to bring new perspectives into life.
 

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I tried to be realistic but just ended up falling off the cynic cliff.

My advice is don't fall off the cynic cliff. It's not fun.
 

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I really feel you with this one -- I have also had to embrace my Si/Te side. It's hard to step out of it because it's honestly satisfying to be productive. At the same time, I would never want this for my whole life (at least not without an end goal).

I try to utilize the Si/Te towards my Fi/Ne goals. For instance, if you really like animals and feel passionate towards their cause, you can start volunteering at a shelter. Or if you think you want to travel, you can work and save up to go to Europe. These are just ideas that I've had for myself, but the point is to not let your Si/Te keep going without getting something out of it for yourself (or your Fi/Ne part).

It's a little different if you're not sure what it is will make you happy or satisfy that part of yourself. But I'm sure there are causes, hobbies, etc that you care more about than others. Even if it's just a curiosity or a slight feeling, those things are worth exploring. As said before, connecting and talking to other people or making new friends helps as well to bring new perspectives into life.
How do you embrace the Si/Te side, what does it look like, just going to work and shutting up?
 

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@intrasearching - I haven't really found any practical ways to deal with it. Sometimes I get this glazed sad look on my face and my ISTP is like "twirler, why do you look so sad?" I annoy myself in this. The working world, day-in and day-out can be highly unsatisfying - I agree. What am I doing with my life, even? Blah. I say, discard this negativity, and throw yourself into your existing friendships. And, realize there are tons of people who have it worse off than you do. This is really me talking to myself, right?

I agree with @allovertheshow, especially Tip #3 about people. As much as many people annoy me, they do inspire me. And, what she said about creating. Creating definitely helps me. I had one of those blah weekdays last week, and I decided to bake some oatmeal cookies. They were awesome, and the creating of sometimes awesome took my mind off myself and the mundane.

Feel less, do more (fun).
 

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How do you embrace the Si/Te side, what does it look like, just going to work and shutting up?
In my experience, there have been two ways to embrace the Si/Te side.

The first one focuses on simple accomplishments and the happiness I get from that. I like finishing assignments, doing well on tests, getting good grades – I like feeling accomplished and productive. It’s not necessarily painful, I think we all like to feel productive. It’s kind of like when you clean your room, wash the dishes, and do all your errands, it feels pretty good afterwards. I’m sure this applies to work as well, I like to just be good at my job and that makes me feel good.

So the first way is about those small satisfactions that feel good in the moment. The second is about finding satisfaction in the long run. What good is it to run without a goal? What really keeps me going is knowing that I’m working towards a goal. I’m not just doing work for the sake of doing work, or just to feel those small satisfactions. I’m in school with the goal of becoming a veterinarian in mind – I want to have the ability to help animals. In this way, I kind of use of Si/Te side to work towards an Fi goal.

Si/Te is very useful, but I always have to remind myself that just working hard won’t get me what I really want from life (though you can use it to your advantage). It just.. helps me survive in society. I still have to go the hard route of self-discovery and making friends and all that :) I hope this helped, this is just my experience so not sure if it’ll apply to others.
 

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In my experience, there have been two ways to embrace the Si/Te side.

The first one focuses on simple accomplishments and the happiness I get from that. I like finishing assignments, doing well on tests, getting good grades – I like feeling accomplished and productive. It’s not necessarily painful, I think we all like to feel productive. It’s kind of like when you clean your room, wash the dishes, and do all your errands, it feels pretty good afterwards. I’m sure this applies to work as well, I like to just be good at my job and that makes me feel good.

So the first way is about those small satisfactions that feel good in the moment. The second is about finding satisfaction in the long run. What good is it to run without a goal? What really keeps me going is knowing that I’m working towards a goal. I’m not just doing work for the sake of doing work, or just to feel those small satisfactions. I’m in school with the goal of becoming a veterinarian in mind – I want to have the ability to help animals. In this way, I kind of use of Si/Te side to work towards an Fi goal.

Si/Te is very useful, but I always have to remind myself that just working hard won’t get me what I really want from life (though you can use it to your advantage). It just.. helps me survive in society. I still have to go the hard route of self-discovery and making friends and all that :) I hope this helped, this is just my experience so not sure if it’ll apply to others.
Just the sheer fact that you can work hard without getting lazy about things that aren't directly linked to your interests puzzles me.

I work a job now and can BARELY focus or work hard with out pressure that I'm gonna fired or something lol. Maybe I need that goal in mind like you say but my goals lie outside of my job since my job isn't tied to them at all, so it drains the crap out of me before I even start. And I can't get up the motivation to want t be good at this job because I couldn't careless about what I do there, so I keep telling myself I'm going to search for a job I care more about, or I just work on projects on the side.

Is it just goals that help you keep up a good work ethic?
 

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Nah, I don't think only the goals keep me going. Most of the time, I enjoy the feeling of getting things done and being productive -- it's kind of like a habit now. And I think it's a little different for me since I'm talking about school. Education has always been a value of mine (Fi) because my family never got an education in their country, so I always feel like school is a privilege for me.

But whatever the case, I think there has to be some enjoyment in what you're doing day to day or else it will feel miserable -- especially if it's a bad atmosphere to where you feel like you'll be fired. Goals are good, but there are a lot of other factors like the people you're around, the atmosphere, the hours, etc. Honestly, the day-to-day factors are probably more important if you want to 'embrace' the Si/Te side. The goals just make it so you're not aimless. Searching for a new job where you like the coworkers or atmosphere or what you're actually doing might be helpful. Sorry I feel like I contradicted my last post, but thinking about it again I really do think you have to like what you're doing first (at least a little) to feel motivated.

Do you know what type of job you're looking for that might be a better environment for you?
 
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