[Serrintine]

So I always seem to have a bone to pick with being misunderstood.

In the sense that I may say something offhand, or show/share something I like or thought was interesting, or do nothing at all really, and then when someone has a reaction to me and I get from their words and their tone of voice that they just received an impression of me that I did not intend...

I immediately go on a crusade to "cleanse my name." I must explain myself. I must have them see that I am not [insert whatever undesirable phrase].

That sounds really petty, I know. But being misunderstood is one of the most frustrating things to me. There's a preciseness to how I want to present things, and when the preciseness misaligns with another's interpretation, I just can't let it slide. I think this is why sometimes I come off as way too serious, literal, and humorless.

People usually laugh at my immediate over-reaction though. Ah, at least we end in good humor?

 

[Lucky AcidStar]

I think you just described why I tend to avoid interacting with people. Ugh :/

Add that if one can't explain oneself, the mind goes on FOREVER imagining every possible scenario for explaining oneself, until either the mind forgets or you finally get to explain oneself.

 

[Lightlilly]

I've come to accept that no one is going to get the right impression
I just don't care what they think anymore :/
tired of trying to explain myself - something that the most wouldn't understand anyway -_-

 

[strafen]

I have an awkward tendency to make every thing in life perverted. I guess by now I just go with the flow and laugh along with the crowd. Works every time T_____T.

 

[GoodOldDreamer]

This is an advantage of being a 9w1. I just go along with whatever people say and don't bother them with contrary responses. ;o) I'm quite convinced that the people who want to understand me will put effort into doing so, and that most people won't so I shouldn't be concerned about it.

 

[WickedQueen]

People have misunderstand me all the time. I just don't have enough attention to even bother.

 

[gabschaves]

I also feel it, is not a good feeling. It is we, INFJ's are constantly worried if we hurt someone, but we no longer exigesntes us.

This feeling diminished when I really started to think before you speak

 

[Bast]

Haha, this is exactly what I do. I feel like I have a complete, well-formed thought in my head, but as soon as I try to verbalize it to someone else it comes out all mixed up. Even though I'm a serious person by nature, I avoid talking about serious things at all costs because I feel like I can't express myself accurately.

 

[ohnoezitsjoez]

I also have tempered my expectations when it comes to be understood. The phrase "you missed the forest for the trees" was written for me because it happens all the time.

I dont need to be agreed with or liked at all, but it grates my cheese if someone walks away with a genuine misunderstanding of my point or me.

 

[setzer]

I dont need to be agreed with or liked at all, but it grates my cheese if someone walks away with a genuine misunderstanding of my point or me.

Oh god this. Fine, everyone wont like me it's a fact, so I'm not going to try.

 

[owlet]

I find it kind of frustrating at first, and try to explain myself as best I can - then I just walk away and leave it and, when I think about it later, it's actually quite funny Also, I've got into the habit of finding different ways of saying the same thing so everyone can understand me eventually (but I only bother for important points these days).

 

[Agape]

LOL...I couldn't help but laugh when I read your question..was talking about that a few minutes ago. People tend to misunderstand not only what I said but my intentions. I learned to accept that things/statements just are..depending on their culture, upbringing and past experiences people will see things in a different light. People can't avoid getting emotional attached to the information you share with them..that's human nature for you. Language also have so many limitations, word sometimes just fall short to express some feelings and even statements. Will be really great if you could just touch someone arms and transmit your ideas and feelings through touch lol..that way there couldn't be any misunderstanding.

@Serrintine...just curious..been our enneagram tri-types so similar...do people sometimes misunderstand what you are saying and think that you are flirting with them?. This have happened to me quite a few times.

 

[Serrintine]

LOL...I couldn't help but laugh when I read your question..was talking about that a few minutes ago. People tend to misunderstand not only what I said but my intentions. I learned to accept that things/statements just are..depending on their culture, upbringing and past experiences people will see things in a different light. People can't avoid getting emotional attached to the information you share with them..that's human nature for you. Language also have so many limitations, word sometimes just fall short to express some feelings and even statements. Will be really great if you could just touch someone arms and transmit your ideas and feelings through touch lol..that way there couldn't be any misunderstanding.

@Serrintine...just curious..been our enneagram tri-types so similar...do people sometimes misunderstand what you are saying and think that you are flirting with them?. This have happened to me quite a few times.

Yes, language is my vitriolic best friend. The only thing that can immediately aid me in expressing myself, and yet my words always come out so clumsy.

I avoid anything that might be misconstrued as flirtation. To be misunderstood as flirting with someone is one of those things that embarrass me the most. To my knowledge, no one has ever seriously thought I was flirting with them (I have the image of a prude, haha). Usually they just find it exaggeratedly hilarious that I would say anything mushy or fluffy.

What exactly do you mean by people thinking you are flirting with them? Anything specific that you say or do?

 

[Serrintine]

Haha, this is exactly what I do. I feel like I have a complete, well-formed thought in my head, but as soon as I try to verbalize it to someone else it comes out all mixed up. Even though I'm a serious person by nature, I avoid talking about serious things at all costs because I feel like I can't express myself accurately.

Sometimes your opinions are greatly appreciated though! Like right now. It would be an injustice to have you be silent on important matters. But of course that's exactly what I do more often than not.

I have trouble vocalizing my thoughts. They come out in grammatically incorrect forms and stutters. Writing is much much much easier. I may have gotten slightly better at speaking over the past year though. I made an effort to communicate with my friends more before we all left for college.

 

[musicman]

So I always seem to have a bone to pick with being misunderstood.

In the sense that I may say something offhand, or show/share something I like or thought was interesting, or do nothing at all really, and then when someone has a reaction to me and I get from their words and their tone of voice that they just received an impression of me that I did not intend...

I immediately go on a crusade to "cleanse my name." I must explain myself. I must have them see that I am not [insert whatever undesirable phrase].

That sounds really petty, I know. But being misunderstood is one of the most frustrating things to me. There's a preciseness to how I want to present things, and when the preciseness misaligns with another's interpretation, I just can't let it slide. I think this is why sometimes I come off as way too serious, literal, and humorless.

People usually laugh at my immediate over-reaction though. Ah, at least we end in good humor?

Ha, yeah I do exactly this quite frequently. It drives me crazy if I think someone may have gotten the wrong impression from something that I said.

 

[Agape]

Yes, language is my vitriolic best friend. The only thing that can immediately aid me in expressing myself, and yet my words always come out so clumsy.

I avoid anything that might be misconstrued as flirtation. To be misunderstood as flirting with someone is one of those things that embarrass me the most. To my knowledge, no one has ever seriously thought I was flirting with them (I have the image of a prude, haha). Usually they just find it exaggeratedly hilarious that I would say anything mushy or fluffy.

What exactly do you mean by people thinking you are flirting with them? Anything specific that you say or do?

Think is a combination of who I am/personality and what people interpret. Thought of an example:

Scenario: college cafeteria. I see someone with a sad face/crying. Could be an acquaintance, friend or even a stranger(rare but has happened).Because I want to cheer you up and make you feel better, I decided to buy you an ice cream and listen to what is afflicting you. After that I cheer you up and by the end of the conversation you will feel much better. Knowing that you are better, I say goodbye and continue doing what I was doing. Some people could start making assumptions of why I decided to do that. A girl might start to think that I like her...when all I was doing was trying to make you feel better. In my experience some people confuse kindness with romantic interest.

After reflecting for a while...maybe I have a flirtatious personality. For me to flirt is to make others feel good about themselves and that is something that I excel( lifetime of practice). In all my interactions I have the purpose of caring( try at least), of contributing to the emotional, mental or physical wellness of the being/person I am interacting with...so my caring and nurturing ways could be interpreted by someone as flirting.

 

[rambleonrose]

What I find frustrating is that often times, when I feel I am speaking my ideas very detailed and clear, purposely (I feel..) take my words and twist them to represent my idea and myself as something that was never intended. This can be jokingly or seriously, either way, it makes me want to punch you in the face.
Or if they ask me over and over again the same question (whether it be opinion or asking a fact) and I give them my answer over and over, even more detailed each time hoping they get the point, and they just refuse to accept my answer. If you don't like my answer, ask me a goddamn new question.

 

[rambleonrose]

Oh but because of this I don't really mind what someone may think of me, I just hate that character trait in people that do that. It makes me view you as someone I don't really care to be around. People are going to think what they want, if they're worthwhile, you'll come around to each other eventually.

 

[Kyrielle]

What I find frustrating is that often times, when I feel I am speaking my ideas very detailed and clear, purposely (I feel..) take my words and twist them to represent my idea and myself as something that was never intended. This can be jokingly or seriously, either way, it makes me want to punch you in the face.

Yes! That makes me so mad, or in most cases, very embarrassed. I like to occasionally make traditionally personal and taboo topics subject to objective theoretical discussion (because I find the ideas behind these things interesting). There is nothing that makes me more upset than to have someone take my objective viewpoint and spin it around to be about me on some personal level. I can barely articulate my indignation at someone making that about-face on me. It's just so juvenile!

 

[The Proof]

People have misunderstand me all the time. I just don't have enough attention to even bother.

I'll second that, if they think I'm whatever, I let them, unless something big is at stake (which never really happens) I'll be ok with whatever they think

Life's too short to care about what other (flawed, mentally and physically) people believe