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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
One of my best friends (an INFJ) has a sister who tested as an ISFP.... Recently, the ISFP divorced her husband of a few years on the advice of online friends after she came to the conclusion she had fallen out of love with him. Furthermore, she's entered into a new relationship with a shady guy she met online who she claims to be in love with, but he refuses to speak to her over the phone, has no webcam, and even though he is apparently the proprietor of a business, there is no information at all online including either his name or the name of the business - that he conveniently just decided to close. Beyond all of these warning signs, the only source she has that this guy is trustworthy is a mutual friend who she also hasn't ever met or spoken to in a non-text-based format. >< There's more to it, but this is basically what's going on.

The INFJ (and her INTJ husband) has tried to talk to her sister, to get her to at least consider the possibility of the guy not being who he says he is....but the ISFP rejects any hint that she's not absolutely justified in trusting these people. She's belligerent and has convinced herself that her family hates her because they don't understand her feelings or her recently chosen lifestyle into bdsm - when they really just want to convey that they love her and just want her to be safe as well as happy. -_-;;;

So....I guess what I'm asking is, how do you go about approaching an ISFP who's already defensive and adamant that everyone is against her....in a way that will make her consider that maybe it's not the best choice to jump blindly into meeting a guy without a backup plan for her own welfare?
 

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The type-related part probably has to do with seeing the good side of everyone first, feeling valued through serving someone else, taking things too much at face value, and picking & choosing which realities to consider based on feelings.

She is sick but I could see how personality could predispose her to this.

I'm not sure how to get through to someone who insists on lying to themselves... and she is probably afraid, deep down but simply can't be objective about facing the possibility.
 

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I don't think there's much you can do. You'll have to let her learn for herself, unless you think she could be potentially in a dangerous situation in which case you should at least warn her. You won't be able to stop her from doing what she wants, but when she snaps out of it or learns the hard way, don't say you told her so.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you for your replies. :frustrating: I linked them to my INFJ friend - she didn't think there was anything else she could say or do at this point, but I figured it was worth asking just in case. Not that I expect any type has a magic word... :p
 
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