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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey ENFP's,

So, for the past months I've been talking to and texting with an ENFP girl I've known for a few years. I'm in my (very) early 20s and live in the UK. I'm absolutely confused about her and especially what she thinks of me because her body language, what she says and what she does all seem to contradict each other... I'm trying to approach the situation very realistically so I'm going to try to explain the situation and give a few examples, hopefully some of you (preferably ENFP girls) can help me out;

We text pretty much every day for instance, and even if we do not, she'll usually text me before I text her. Though, she often takes a long time replying (sometimes hours) in which case I think to myself "she possibly can't like me." I've been of emotional support to her too, so the above seems to tell me she's just approaching me as a friend. When we do have times where we "rapidly" text so to say, we can talk for hours on end about every topic under the son... it clicks very well and it's tbh the first time I've been able to talk for so long with a girl in general. And other times, when she takes hours replying, it's just a boring conversation going back and forth. If I kinda let her "manage" the conversation, we'll literally text 7 days a week with hours between replies.

Now the plot twist: Whenever we meet, her body language clearly tells me she is very very nervous and awkward. It takes time for her to get comfortable and "become herself" again. Conversations we text about continue in person and we can literally spend hours just talking to each other; there is some sort of extreme honesty and sincerity when we speak to each other so it just clicks.

Once, at a time when she takes hours replying, I made her clear that she isn't putting the same effort. She told me it wasn't on purpose and that she's sorry if she comes over like that - this is an extremely big sign to be that she just wants to be friends.

I may have come over as very desperate and in love, which is actually not the case (maybe a bit :D) I'm trying to approach this very realistically but I need to know what she feels about me.
 

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Try asking her to describe her ideal guy if it sounds like you she's interested if not she see you as a friend 😃as an enfp - I always forget to reply to text immediately - with anyone - it's like spur of the moment and then I lose my phone or do something else - it's never intentional :)


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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Try asking her to describe her ideal guy if it sounds like you she's interested if not she see you as a friend ��as an enfp - I always forget to reply to text immediately - with anyone - it's like spur of the moment and then I lose my phone or do something else - it's never intentional :)


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Hhhhhh my life is surrounded with ENFP's... brother and mother, and now this girl. You guys can drive me nuts :) - Thank you for the help, really appreciated. I'll ask her exactly that soon.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I don't text anybody first unless I'm really interested in them. Even with people I'm interested, I sometimes take a while to text back.
Gotcha - I see this relating back to other ENFP's I know. Kinda strange that this could be a personality thing. I'd think this would be more of a habit unrelated to any MBTI
 

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@cao99

To be honest, and I know you've probably considered it and/or heard it a million times before, but I would suggest being direct with her and asking her if she'd like to go on a date/how she feels about your relationship.

I can be extremely guarded and that kind of honesty takes me out of my shell. Even when I'm really interested in somebody, it takes a lot for me to feel secure enough to really reveal my emotions, unless I feel they are genuine and creating a comfortable space for me to reciprocate.
 

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ENFPs aren't typically big texters (well, maybe younger ENFPs are - I'm in my 20s) so the fact that she texts you back at all is a good sign. Frankly, I don't initiate with people I'm not interested in so I'm not hard to read. If she's like me, she's interested in you. :happy:

The number 1 attraction killer for me is when a guy isn't confident. It just makes me feel even more awkward when he beats around the bush or tries to worm his way into a relationship by fake-friendly, simpering behavior. I need the guy to be more confident in his feelings than I am in my feelings so don't show that you're uncertain. What's the worst that could happen? She doesn't reciprocate and you're embarrassed for a bit and then you get over it. Not the end of the the world.

Just make it known that you think she's attractive (don't be dramatic and emotive about it :wink: ) with some compliments about her personality. Definitely keep sappiness to a minimum and she should respond well. I don't recommended saying "I really, really like you! I have feelings for you! You are wonderful!" because that kind of directness can be overwhelming. Remember, ENFPs are introverted feelers. We have a hard time receiving that kind of proclamation unless we're really in the mood. That can come AFTER you've completely won us over. We like a slow burn.

The easiest way to show your intentions is to ask her on a DATE ("Blah blah do you want to go to X place for dinner on X night? My treat"). Don't leave it up to her to decide the place and time - that's on you.

Less overthinking, more doing. Seriously, don't sweat this. Don't try to analyze her body language or whatever. Just go for it. :crazy:
Best of luck, @cao99!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
ENFPs aren't typically big texters (well, maybe younger ENFPs are - I'm in my 20s) so the fact that she texts you back at all is a good sign. Frankly, I don't initiate with people I'm not interested in so I'm not hard to read. If she's like me, she's interested in you. :happy:

The number 1 attraction killer for me is when a guy isn't confident. It just makes me feel even more awkward when he beats around the bush or tries to worm his way into a relationship by fake-friendly, simpering behavior. I need the guy to be more confident in his feelings than I am in my feelings so don't show that you're uncertain. What's the worst that could happen? She doesn't reciprocate and you're embarrassed for a bit and then you get over it. Not the end of the the world.

Just make it known that you think she's attractive (don't be dramatic and emotive about it :wink: ) with some compliments about her personality. Definitely keep sappiness to a minimum and she should respond well. I don't recommended saying "I really, really like you! I have feelings for you! You are wonderful!" because that kind of directness can be overwhelming. Remember, ENFPs are introverted feelers. We have a hard time receiving that kind of proclamation unless we're really in the mood. That can come AFTER you've completely won us over. We like a slow burn.

The easiest way to show your intentions is to ask her on a DATE ("Blah blah do you want to go to X place for dinner on X night? My treat"). Don't leave it up to her to decide the place and time - that's on you.

Less overthinking, more doing. Seriously, don't sweat this. Don't try to analyze her body language or whatever. Just go for it. :crazy:
Best of luck, @cao99!
Thanks - this is helping me out tremendously. It's a bit surprising to me that taking a while to reply could be a thing relating to character types. I would have guessed it would be closer related to a habit or something.

Also, something else that indicates to me she's just slinging me on, is that we can spend hours talking about roles of men and women in relationships and even when being a parent (lol), but in the process we never hint to a possibility of us being together. It's very awkward and very weird, but in these conversations she'll state her concerns and some things that make her anxious about this topic - being THIS open about THIS subject really makes me doubt. What do you think of this?
 

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You should probably try to take more of the lead. Us ENFP's are used to taking the lead, but traditionally it's the man's role and so she might think that YOU'RE not interested in her if you don't push it.

Tbh though, if I liked someone, I would never really take hours to reply to their stuff. She is at least somewhat into you as you guys talk for hours. ENFP's thrive on that and is everything we're looking for. Take more initiative and ask her out on a date, we (like you guys) love the romantic stuff. Cheesy candlelit dinners under the stars, takeout at home, romantic things.
 

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Hey ENFP's,

We text pretty much every day for instance, and even if we do not, she'll usually text me before I text her. Though, she often takes a long time replying (sometimes hours) in which case I think to myself "she possibly can't like me." I've been of emotional support to her too, so the above seems to tell me she's just approaching me as a friend. When we do have times where we "rapidly" text so to say, we can talk for hours on end about every topic under the son... it clicks very well and it's tbh the first time I've been able to talk for so long with a girl in general. And other times, when she takes hours replying, it's just a boring conversation going back and forth. If I kinda let her "manage" the conversation, we'll literally text 7 days a week with hours between replies.

Now the plot twist: Whenever we meet, her body language clearly tells me she is very very nervous and awkward. It takes time for her to get comfortable and "become herself" again. Conversations we text about continue in person and we can literally spend hours just talking to each other; there is some sort of extreme honesty and sincerity when we speak to each other so it just clicks.

Once, at a time when she takes hours replying, I made her clear that she isn't putting the same effort. She told me it wasn't on purpose and that she's sorry if she comes over like that - this is an extremely big sign to be that she just wants to be friends.

I may have come over as very desperate and in love, which is actually not the case (maybe a bit :D) I'm trying to approach this very realistically but I need to know what she feels about me.
I can relate to you.

I have been attracted to a ENFP-girl, who has shown some indications of interest in the past.

One of the main trouble with her is that she doesn't ever initiate a conversation with me (with one or two exceptions), but when we end up in an face-to-face conversation she seems like she's enjoying the conversation we're having.

But when I initiate first a conversation to another girl than her in a group where she is, she seems very shy, almost to passive levels (not taking eye contact and not acknowledging my presence in the group.

One time I was sitting next to her while talking with another guy (I realized that her sitting place was next to me when she sat there and I noticed her bag had originally been next to her chair, but I was already chatting with the guy and she was talking with another one, I decided to continue the conversation with him normally. Also, there were many people in the room so I didn't want to put pressure on her.) As I was chatting with him, this girl suddenly turned her head towards me and gave me this emotionless but still very deep gaze. Like, O_OIt was a very powerful move from her but I held my ground and didn't flinch.
Still, I did response to her gaze, though without saying anything.One other time I complimented her when hanging out in a group where she was with (I complimented to a cool thing which she did), and she reacted to my compliment with zero acknowledge.
She sat just frozen, with a neutral smile, looking forward and not saying a thing.
As a reaction it was me who turned awkward for this lack of feedback and I eventually bailed the group, bidding them a "... Well I'm going now. See you guys!"

The reason why I reacted like this was because back in high school, I once approached a girl I really, really liked. She was waiting for an appointment to the local study councelor, when I tried to begin a small talk with her.

I began the conversation by asking her a single question in a friendly manner. She didn't respond anything, but reacted with zero feedback like this girl here - perhaps in an even more passive way as she didn't even smile. I asked her again the same question, with same response.

As a result I had an immediate panic attack and retreated to elsewhere.

This lack of feedback from the ENFP-girl created a momentarily Se-connection with this earlier memory of mine and it was like a hit to the face.




But anyways, I have conversated with her on FB (I'm once again always the initiative person) and the last time I conversated with her it took always from 15 to 20 minutes for her to respond to my text. No exceptions. (Then again, I was talking about politics with her - about a current subject which was at the news, mind you - so maybe the choice of topic wasn't the best one :laughing:. I did realize I should probably come up with a better topic, but just when I was about to start building a connection with her, she starting to ask more personal questions about me, she had to go and then left the conversation..)

But in your case, it took hours before she responded? Geesh! And I thought the responses in my chat were taking too long :S

It was really frustrating to always wait for her to respond, but as you ENFP-guys mentioned, you ENFP's not being the one for text conversations, may explain something.
 

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I can definitely say she has interest in you. Her talking to you constantly doesn't necessarily mean anything, we talk to everyone and anyone for energy. But the fact that you've helped her with emotional and personal stuff means a lot to us. We really value anyone who takes their time to try to help us when we need it. Her taking hours of replying isn't your fault and she's sincerely sorry, we forget.

Here's the thing though, if she does it often, she may not have a lot of interest in you.
If it's occasional, it's a complete accident.

You directly told her that she wasn't putting in the same amount of effort, that was a poor choice. That makes us feel really bad and hard on ourselves, we try to please everyone.

I would definitely recommend this: Find subjects that she enjoys and talk about them a lot, you'll become someone even closer to her. Talk to her about very serious subjects as she allows you, we love doing that with INFJs. Show her your real self, open up as much as you can, it's hard for INFJs but we love them. And finally, take her on a date or something similar, ENFPs want to try everything and look at every option, I doubt she'd say no.

TL;DR
Ask her on a date, talk to her about serious subjects, be nice.
<3
 

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Thanks - this is helping me out tremendously. It's a bit surprising to me that taking a while to reply could be a thing relating to character types. I would have guessed it would be closer related to a habit or something.

Also, something else that indicates to me she's just slinging me on, is that we can spend hours talking about roles of men and women in relationships and even when being a parent (lol), but in the process we never hint to a possibility of us being together. It's very awkward and very weird, but in these conversations she'll state her concerns and some things that make her anxious about this topic - being THIS open about THIS subject really makes me doubt. What do you think of this?
You're welcome.

Hm, well, it doesn't matter what I think. :wink: The opinions of a bunch of strangers about this woman's feelings aren't going to make a difference as to the outcome of you asking her out. Just go for it.

ETA: Even if you're crazy about her, try not to show it too much. Translation: Do not be clingy, do not ask "Why are you slow to respond to texts?", do not burden her with your feelings at this point. Maybe even be a little bit elusive, mixing things up if you're in the same routine of contacting her at a certain time. If it's one thing ENFPs don't like, it's a) boring people, meaning people who have no lives, and b) being pinned into the corner by someone saying "Why are you not giving me enough attention?!" Once an ENFP falls for you, he or she will smother you with attention. Delayed gratification, my friend.
 

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You're welcome.



ETA: Even if you're crazy about her, try not to show it too much. Translation: Do not be clingy, do not ask "Why are you slow to respond to texts?", do not burden her with your feelings at this point. Maybe even be a little bit elusive, mixing things up if you're in the same routine of contacting her at a certain time. If it's one thing ENFPs don't like, it's a) boring people, meaning people who have no lives, and b) being pinned into the corner by someone saying "Why are you not giving me enough attention?!" Once an ENFP falls for you, he or she will smother you with attention. Delayed gratification, my friend.
This exactly


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I can relate to you.

I have been attracted to a ENFP-girl, who has shown some indications of interest in the past.

One of the main trouble with her is that she doesn't ever initiate a conversation with me (with one or two exceptions), but when we end up in an face-to-face conversation she seems like she's enjoying the conversation we're having.

But when I initiate first a conversation to another girl than her in a group where she is, she seems very shy, almost to passive levels (not taking eye contact and not acknowledging my presence in the group.

One time I was sitting next to her while talking with another guy (I realized that her sitting place was next to me when she sat there and I noticed her bag had originally been next to her chair, but I was already chatting with the guy and she was talking with another one, I decided to continue the conversation with him normally. Also, there were many people in the room so I didn't want to put pressure on her.) As I was chatting with him, this girl suddenly turned her head towards me and gave me this emotionless but still very deep gaze. Like, O_OIt was a very powerful move from her but I held my ground and didn't flinch. Still, I did response to her gaze, though without saying anything.One other time I complimented her when hanging out in a group where she was with (I complimented to a cool thing which she did), and she reacted to my compliment with zero acknowledge.
She sat just frozen, with a neutral smile, looking forward and not saying a thing.
As a reaction it was me who turned awkward for this lack of feedback and I eventually bailed the group, bidding them a "... Well I'm going now. See you guys!"

The reason why I reacted like this was because back in high school, I once approached a girl I really, really liked. She was waiting for an appointment to the local study councelor, when I tried to begin a small talk with her.

I began the conversation by asking her a single question in a friendly manner. She didn't respond anything, but reacted with zero feedback like this girl here - perhaps in an even more passive way as she didn't even smile. I asked her again the same question, with same response.

As a result I had an immediate panic attack and retreated to elsewhere.

This lack of feedback from the ENFP-girl created a momentarily Se-connection with this earlier memory of mine and it was like a hit to the face.




But anyways, I have conversated with her on FB (I'm once again always the initiative person) and the last time I conversated with her it took always from 15 to 20 minutes for her to respond to my text. No exceptions. (Then again, I was talking about politics with her - about a current subject which was at the news, mind you - so maybe the choice of topic wasn't the best one :laughing:. I did realize I should probably come up with a better topic, but just when I was about to start building a connection with her, she starting to ask more personal questions about me, she had to go and then left the conversation..)

But in your case, it took hours before she responded? Geesh! And I thought the responses in my chat were taking too long :S

It was really frustrating to always wait for her to respond, but as you ENFP-guys mentioned, you ENFP's not being the one for text conversations, may explain something.
Haha this is our Fi. When we're feeling something, we tend to shut down and just feel within us. If this happens while I'm in a relationship, I'll just hold my girlfriend and not say anything and try to "push" those feelings to her so she can feel what I'm feeling.

Us ENFP's are also very self critical and unsure of things sometimes. So that's probably why she doesn't start convo with you. She might be thinking, "if he liked me, he would contact me! Men usually pursue."

On the topic of not responding, if you engage an ENFP enough, we will respond immediately. To gauge how well it's going with an ENFP, you just need to see how much the ENFP wants to see you, and how much he/she wants to talk to you while you guys are not together physically. If it's going well, this answer will be always.
 

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I can relate to you.

I have been attracted to a ENFP-girl, who has shown some indications of interest in the past.

One of the main trouble with her is that she doesn't ever initiate a conversation with me (with one or two exceptions), but when we end up in an face-to-face conversation she seems like she's enjoying the conversation we're having.

But when I initiate first a conversation to another girl than her in a group where she is, she seems very shy, almost to passive levels (not taking eye contact and not acknowledging my presence in the group.

One time I was sitting next to her while talking with another guy (I realized that her sitting place was next to me when she sat there and I noticed her bag had originally been next to her chair, but I was already chatting with the guy and she was talking with another one, I decided to continue the conversation with him normally. Also, there were many people in the room so I didn't want to put pressure on her.) As I was chatting with him, this girl suddenly turned her head towards me and gave me this emotionless but still very deep gaze. Like, O_OIt was a very powerful move from her but I held my ground and didn't flinch.
Still, I did response to her gaze, though without saying anything.One other time I complimented her when hanging out in a group where she was with (I complimented to a cool thing which she did), and she reacted to my compliment with zero acknowledge.
She sat just frozen, with a neutral smile, looking forward and not saying a thing.
As a reaction it was me who turned awkward for this lack of feedback and I eventually bailed the group, bidding them a "... Well I'm going now. See you guys!"

The reason why I reacted like this was because back in high school, I once approached a girl I really, really liked. She was waiting for an appointment to the local study councelor, when I tried to begin a small talk with her.

I began the conversation by asking her a single question in a friendly manner. She didn't respond anything, but reacted with zero feedback like this girl here - perhaps in an even more passive way as she didn't even smile. I asked her again the same question, with same response.

As a result I had an immediate panic attack and retreated to elsewhere.

This lack of feedback from the ENFP-girl created a momentarily Se-connection with this earlier memory of mine and it was like a hit to the face.




But anyways, I have conversated with her on FB (I'm once again always the initiative person) and the last time I conversated with her it took always from 15 to 20 minutes for her to respond to my text. No exceptions. (Then again, I was talking about politics with her - about a current subject which was at the news, mind you - so maybe the choice of topic wasn't the best one :laughing:. I did realize I should probably come up with a better topic, but just when I was about to start building a connection with her, she starting to ask more personal questions about me, she had to go and then left the conversation..)

But in your case, it took hours before she responded? Geesh! And I thought the responses in my chat were taking too long :S

It was really frustrating to always wait for her to respond, but as you ENFP-guys mentioned, you ENFP's not being the one for text conversations, may explain something.
It could mean one of two things she either likes you and is unsure and quite shy or she only see you as a friend . I don't usually show interest unless the guy take initiative or I know that the other person is without a doubt interested in me - however once I know then I make sure the other party knows that I'm interested - and depending on the guy my approach may be subtle or playful but it's definitely obvious . However I rarely ever text or call first - along with responding immediately ...or I may respond in long text and conversation at spur of the moment and then disappear after a while - it's not q good habit I know lol must be the Ne


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Haha this is our Fi. When we're feeling something, we tend to shut down and just feel within us. If this happens while I'm in a relationship, I'll just hold my girlfriend and not say anything and try to "push" those feelings to her so she can feel what I'm feeling.

Us ENFP's are also very self critical and unsure of things sometimes. So that's probably why she doesn't start convo with you. She might be thinking, "if he liked me, he would contact me! Men usually pursue."
We are so similar! I love what you said about being self-critical. It's so, so, SO true, and definitely something I'm working on. Having Fi-Ne can be pretty torturous sometimes. It gets tiring! You give great advice.

On the topic of not responding, if you engage an ENFP enough, we will respond immediately. To gauge how well it's going with an ENFP, you just need to see how much the ENFP wants to see you, and how much he/she wants to talk to you while you guys are not together physically. If it's going well, this answer will be always.
Hmm, not sure if I agree with this. I have learned to clear my head space and focus 100% on tasks at hand while leaving feelings for later when I can deal with them. Used to obsess about guys pretty hard, though. I do say it outright when I need space ("Sometimes I won't respond to your texts until the end of the day because I need to focus on what I'm doing - it's nothing personal!") so there's no game playing.
 

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Haha this is our Fi. When we're feeling something, we tend to shut down and just feel within us. If this happens while I'm in a relationship, I'll just hold my girlfriend and not say anything and try to "push" those feelings to her so she can feel what I'm feeling.

Us ENFP's are also very self critical and unsure of things sometimes. So that's probably why she doesn't start convo with you. She might be thinking, "if he liked me, he would contact me! Men usually pursue."

On the topic of not responding, if you engage an ENFP enough, we will respond immediately. To gauge how well it's going with an ENFP, you just need to see how much the ENFP wants to see you, and how much he/she wants to talk to you while you guys are not together physically. If it's going well, this answer will be always.



It could mean one of two things she either likes you and is unsure and quite shy or she only see you as a friend . I don't usually show interest unless the guy take initiative or I know that the other person is without a doubt interested in me - however once I know then I make sure the other party knows that I'm interested - and depending on the guy my approach may be subtle or playful but it's definitely obvious . However I rarely ever text or call first - along with responding immediately ...or I may respond in long text and conversation at spur of the moment and then disappear after a while - it's not q good habit I know lol must be the Ne




We are so similar! I love what you said about being self-critical. It's so, so, SO true, and definitely something I'm working it. Having Fi-Ne can be pretty torturous sometimes. It gets tiring! You give great advice.

---

Hmm, not sure if I agree with this. I have learned to clear my head space and focus 100% on tasks out hand while leaving feelings for later when I can deal with them. Used to obsess about guys pretty hard, though. I do say it outright when I need space ("Sometimes I won't respond to your texts until the end of the day because I need to focus on what I'm doing - it's nothing personal!") so there's no game playing.



Thank you all for your input!

I am grateful to know more of you ENFP's and about this girl and the mechanisms behind her behaviour. This helps me understand her better.


She has a male guy friend whom she spends a good amount of time with. They do banter and stuff, but in the end they didn't seem to have anything serious going on. The male's quite charismatic (albeit conservative. He's probably an ISTJ btw) and he tends to spend time with many different women, but doesn't really pick any of them for an actual romance.

This is why it was difficult for me for a long time to make a move - I always thought that she was actually interested of this ISTJ male. Like, "They're almost always together when at a bar and she seems to really enjoy his company. There's no reason why they wouldn't be dating or have romantic feelings towards each other." It didn't help to realize that her attitude towards me was, well.. The complete opposite: Shy vs open, closed/formal, vs bantering, doesn't really do initiatives vs spends a lot of time and actually does initiatives.

It's a bit ironic, as earlier when I didn't know that much about her, she had a habit of sending more signals towards me. But now, when I know more about her (being an ENFP and knowing the mechanisms behind ENFP behaviour) - and as this ISTJ male is also pursuing other women more actively, she's become more passive. She has still the same quirkiness and she seems to be always very happy to talk with me (mind you, only after I've opened an conversation with her. Before that she's into her normal shy self in regards of her stance towards me)



She's going away for quite some time - we are speaking of months instead of weeks. What is your opinion on time's effect on feelings? Does she leave the potential feelings to "pend" and just get back to them once it's time for that, or do they tend to dwindle and eventually disappear?

If the potentially romantic feelings have disappeared from her when she returns, then so be it. There's not much that I can do, then.

But in my case, I'll probably focus on something else while she's away. Perhaps I'll meet someone new and interesting - or perhaps not. It's hard to tell. However, once she returns and depending on her attitude towards me then, my Fe could activate like she wasn't even anywhere for the whole time. This is one of our INTP's strenghts: Time is simply a relative concept for us.
 

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@Space Ryder - it's not type related but girls do have guy friends and vice versa - and some we may be really close with - I know I have a lot of guy friends that I banter and hangout with but from the way it sounds since the girl is shy around you and not the other guy it seems like they're relationship is strictly platonic and btw no offense to istj but I find intp way way way more amusing ( have a thing for ti ) As being gone - I think once a person disappear or if I go away I'll shift focus on doing other things but if I'm interested in a person before seeing them again will definitely reminisce the same effect :) if I'm in a relationship with somebody how space and distance wouldn't matter much as long as I know that we're together . Hope that helps


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@Space Ryder - it's not type related but girls do have guy friends and vice versa - and some we may be really close with - I know I have a lot of guy friends that I banter and hangout with but from the way it sounds since the girl is shy around you and not the other guy it seems like they're relationship is strictly platonic and btw no offense to istj but I find intp way way way more amusing ( have a thing for ti ) As being gone - I think once a person disappear or if I go away I'll shift focus on doing other things but if I'm interested in a person before seeing them again will definitely reminisce the same effect :) if I'm in a relationship with somebody how soave and distance wouldn't matter much as long as I know that we're together . Hope that helps.
I am aware of this and I was not truly jealous about it. I completely agree with you, females and males both have all the right to have friends of both gender. It just made my actions harder to make, not knowing for sure..

Yeah, it could very well be that they are just friends.. It's been over a year now and they are still not in a relationship, plus the guy is clearly interested of other women.
 
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