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Need help - I can’t find my type by myself

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1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.

I am currently taking escitalopram (antidepressant) and isotretoin (acne treatment). My main issue is anxiety, which could lead to panic attacks and depressive crisis - the last one was 2 years ago, but I am fine now. I am male, 24, and currently I feel determined to grow professionally and reach smaller goals regarding knowledge, health and entertainment.


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2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
https://www.flickr.com/photos/iwonapodlasinska/24910336518/in/explore-2017-12-02/
https://www.flickr.com/photos/bereal4ever/24920099388/in/explore-2017-12-02/

I like both, but I prefer the one with the boy in the woods. To be short, it is a boy surrounded by trees, at the dawn/twilight, starring the sun.
It is somehow calming for me, the setting makes me wonder what is the story behind it, and it makes me think of my own childhood. I wish I could walk in the woods like in this picture, listen to the noises, feel the different smells. It is kind of bucolic and refreshing for me.

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3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?

I am a private person. But once I start hanging with someone, it is easier to get to know me. However, I always tend to keep some of my thoughts and opinions to myself. It is easier to show my opinion than my feelings. Sometimes it is hard to put my feelings in words, I may be struggling and still keep my stoicism. I never cry next to other people, unless there is no way to hold it back. People often say I am emotionless but that is not true at all. I feel things very deeply, and sometimes I make my decisions considering how other people and I will feel after.

My sense of humor is rather dark and not obvious. I do not feel like entertaining other people and I am far from being a typical party host. At a party I would just stay next to a few friends where it is not very loud. I do not quite like parties to be honest, I prefer smaller reunions at someone’s house or at a pub.

I am not the most intellectual person, although I like to rationalize things and having brief discussions on subjects that I have interest. I prefer to just study a subject by myself, and the themes could vary a lot. I like themes such as astrophysics, ecology, genetics, medieval and modern history, literature, AI, music, high tech business etcetera. My area of work is IT and engineering, but I think I really could work with anything, except sales, customer service and careers where I should take care of people directly.

I am reliable but not selfless, responsible but a procrastinator, controlling but not bossy. I think I am never on the extremes, I look for balance in every area of my life. I do not take too many risks, and I like to be prepared to what will come.

I could do this for hours, but I think it would be too long, so I will stop for now.

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4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?

I would like to be someone who is confident, creative, active, intelligent, wit. Someone who can react fast to whatever happens, and is able to make the wisest decisions for everybody (or at least the majority) even when there is shortage of resources and time. Someone who is respected and acknowledged for its fairness, knowledge and potential. A natural leader. Someone who finds whatever makes sense for him and excels in the areas of interest. Someone who can figure out how to find happiness.
I want to be like this because that would make me someone successful and able to handle different kinds of situation in life. I often feel too worried about the future, too shy, not confident enough, too stuck in my ways. I would like to change that.

I do not want to be someone who is shallow, deceitful, phony, dumb. Someone who changes sides every time and use other people to achieve its goals. Someone who thinks the world spins around himself, and who has a big ego but lacks talent, intelligence and authenticity. Someone who cheats and even brags about it. Someone who is like a boss rather than a leader. These are traits that displease me, that is why I would not want to be like that.

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5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?

There definitely are. People tend to see me as cold, distant, apathetic, smarter than I really am, polite, shy, often arrogant, indecisive. Some of these may be true, but people do not realize how it is hard for me to get out of my inner world and show more interest in what is happening right now.

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6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.
1. Reason (19 votes)
2. Knowledge (17 votes)
3. Success (16 votes)
4. Capability (16 votes)
5. Dependability (16 votes)
6. Perseverance (15 votes)
7. Excellence (15 votes)
8. Adaptability (14 votes)
9. Satisfaction (12 votes)
10. Insightfulness (12 votes)
11. Recognition (9 votes)
12. Control (9 votes)
13. Justice (7 votes)
14. Balance (7 votes)
15. Peace (6 votes)
16. Motivation (5 votes)
17. Respect (5 votes)
18. Growth (4 votes)
19. Creativity (3 votes)
20. Hopefulness (3 votes)


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7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?

Before the situation happens, I act normally and I even look forward to the changes, I can not help having all kind of expectations. But once the situation comes, I often feel anxious and worried. I start being pessimistic. Then, after it is over, I feel like I should not have worried that much in the start and before. That is how it happened in college, in my internship, when I started studying piano.

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8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

I try to deep breath and look for the best course of action. I become very concentrated in my own thoughts and feelings. I become easily irritable and I might have to find somewhere calmer to relief stress. If it is too stressful and I just can not take it, I completely shut down from the world, I start feeling sick and I might not get out of my room - I could look for help once I have processed my feelings.

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9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
I act much more naturally. I am more open to new people and new experiences. I talk more, I live in the moment. I can react faster to sensorial stimulus. I am able to see more possibilities around me. I forget about anything that makes me worried. I use to feel like this while I am traveling to somewhere new.


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10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?

Socialization has always been a big challenge for me. I feel like I must find the right thing to say, and sometimes nothing comes up, so I don’t say anything and just listen. One-on-one interaction is way easier, I am even able to have a good level of intimacy with other people in this case. Group interaction is harder, I am prone to talk to a maximum of 3 people at the same time, or else I could be overwhelmed and it drains out my energy.


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11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?

I feel neutral about society. I try to fit in socially, and I follow most of the norms, since I have already been a misanthrope in the past and it was quite depressing and lonesome. Even though I follow the norms and share some values with other people, I think that some of these things do not make sense, as they may be prejudicious, biased and not supported by facts and logic. I follow the customs and traditions that make sense for me, like exchanging gifts with special ones, being together for a birthday or Christmas. There are details that do not make sense to me, like blowing candles on a cake, singing happy birthday, or setting up a Christmas tree, so I do not make those.
I have mixed feelings about other people. I can not live alone, and I love my family and friends. But I think that society is a real mess, and I have to be cautious about how I rely on people and the social structure overall. I try to expect the best from other people, but I can not help judging and finding flaws.


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12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
I am fine with authority, but it must have a reason to exist - productivity, leadership. I do not like someone demanding things that do not make sense for me, or things that go against my values, or things that will harm myself or other people. I tend to question authority and not completely trust it, although I often need guidance if I am cooperating with other people. I appreciate a good leader, someone who has vision, a strategic mind, someone who discusses things with the subordinates and acts reasonably.


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13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
Although I think the world is chaotic, I need to have order in my thoughts, my relationships and my surroundings to feel better. My room is clean but not quite tidy, I appreciate organization but it can not take too much of my time.
I do not like chaotic relationships, I appreciate transparency, respect and the absence of conflicts.
Although I procrastinate a lot, I always keep my schedule in mind, and I like to have my tasks ordered so that I won’t loose track of them.


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14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?

I fear dying above everything, either by some illness, an accident, a world calamity. I think I still have much to learn, much to accomplish, much to live, places to know, people to meet. I do not want to die now. I take a lot of care with my health and safety, I try not take risks that could expose me to death.


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15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?

Although it is not on my values list, I think my biggest desire is to have a life worth living. That means being happy and satisfied with whichever path I have chosen in life.
Apart from that, I want to have a successful career, have my own place to live, have a family and loyal friends, travel a lot, keep discovering new things and acquiring more knowledge, find new ways of entertainment, be healthy, live in harmony within the world. I think most of these goals came from my family and my upbringing (school, college).


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16.
a) What activities energize you most?
Listening to music and playing the piano, reading my books, traveling, driving on the road, going out to eat, watching movies and tv shows, walking on the beach/park.

b) What activities drain you most? Why?
Having to talk to a lot of strangers at the same time, negotiation, conflicts, feeling unsafe (like passing through a dangerous neighborhood, or practicing a dangerous sport), having to persuade and convince people. I suppose most of these show my fear of socialization and of danger.

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17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.

I want to understand who I am, what I am able to do and see what are my limitations and possibilities. I know these are just frameworks, but I feel bothered that I do not quite fit in a type. Finding this out is a challenge and like challenges.
My only certainty is that I am an introvert. The rest confuses me, and I feel like I could be any introverted type. I won’t say the type I think I am because I do not want to have people biased while reading this.
I think all the introverted types are quite interesting, but I think that INFJ and INTP are the most interesting ones, because they seem to be rare and unique for me, and able to accomplish big things.
My enneagram highest scores use to be 6, 5, 9 (in this order). So maybe 6w5?
Keys2Cognition (it may vary a lot, but this is from today):
Se - 14.4
Si - 39.7
Ne - 30.6
Ni - 20.4
Fe - 32.7
Fi - 33.5
Te - 38.8
Ti - 37.1

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18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?

I think I said enough (perhaps too much), so I am available if something was not clear :)
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I do not know if it is helpful, but I took this high 5 strengths test.

http://high5test.com

My results were:
1 - Philomath
2 - Deliverer
3 - Winner
4 - Analyst
5 - Peace keeper

But for me it would make more sense if the last ones were:
3 - Analyst
4 - Peace keeper
5 - Winner
 

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I like both, but I prefer the one with the boy in the woods. To be short, it is a boy surrounded by trees, at the dawn/twilight, starring the sun.
It is somehow calming for me, the setting makes me wonder what is the story behind it, and it makes me think of my own childhood. I wish I could walk in the woods like in this picture, listen to the noises, feel the different smells. It is kind of bucolic and refreshing for me.

That is Se

I act much more naturally. I am more open to new people and new experiences. I talk more, I live in the moment. I can react faster to sensorial stimulus.

Again Se

I am not sure but then again i am not sure of my type either. It just felt like i related to you on many levels in your provided answers. It's exactly how i would have answered those questions. And i am a confused Fi-dom too, hence the Fi-dom.

P.S. --- It's funny how you can relate so deeply to someone. It's like I could just feel most of your answers if not all.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I like both, but I prefer the one with the boy in the woods. To be short, it is a boy surrounded by trees, at the dawn/twilight, starring the sun.
It is somehow calming for me, the setting makes me wonder what is the story behind it, and it makes me think of my own childhood. I wish I could walk in the woods like in this picture, listen to the noises, feel the different smells. It is kind of bucolic and refreshing for me.

That is Se

I act much more naturally. I am more open to new people and new experiences. I talk more, I live in the moment. I can react faster to sensorial stimulus.

Again Se

I am not sure but then again i am not sure of my type either. It just felt like i related to you on many levels in your provided answers. It's exactly how i would have answered those questions. And i am a confused Fi-dom too, hence the Fi-dom.

P.S. --- It's funny how you can relate so deeply to someone. It's like I could just feel most of your answers if not all.
Do you also feel that no one can relate 100% to you? It is not that I feel special about it, but sometimes I think I am different from most people around me. That seems very Fi for me too.

When I read descriptions of ISFP I can relate, but some people say that finding your type by reading descriptions is very inaccurate. But I am still unsure about the Se, even though I showed some Se in my examples. The part of reacting fast to changes, being aware of my surroundings is not relatable to me.
 

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https://www.google.co.in/amp/s/funk...156064154950/the-difference-between-ne-se/amp

https://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&s...mMAA&usg=AOvVaw2odiWUnaTAjDmsaH04R7Cj&ampcf=1

https://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&s...CdMQjjgIKTAB&usg=AOvVaw0LjlVD7XvrJAm1FE_qvlja

https://www.google.co.in/amp/s/funk...lways-been-typed-isfp-and-ive-been-pretty/amp

Hope these links might help you. One thing is sure, you are an Fi-Te user as per your responses.

No one can relate to me 100% because no one has lived my life and experienced what i have. No one can understand completely why i am the way i am no matter how much i want someone to. The same goes with everyone else. You can relate to someone till a certain level only. Beyond that it's only he who can live it.
 
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