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Find something else to love.
 

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Hello. Firstly, is it love or Limerance? As Introverts we're prone to having these idealised emotions that are often not reciprocated. It doesn't mean they're any less real or valid, just too often one-sided. Establishing just what it is and critically analyzing it (NOT wallowing in it) can be helpful.

Regardless of what it is, understand that you are not alone in going through this personal Hell. Many of us in here have done so too, and repeatedly. Sure, we tell ourselves, we'll never feel this way again, but someone comes along and makes us have a whole new set of gooey feelings. The best thing, as knght990 suggested, would probably be to find something else to love. If you're studying something, focus on that. If you have a hobby or an obsession, burn your energy there. Hugging small furry animals isn't a bad way to go - hug you lab rat today! I'll keep you well-clear of my number-one limerance-killer, because aged single malt isn't for everyone.

Someone with something more helpful.... please?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
well, is the main difference between love and limerance purely if the feelings are, or in this case were, reciprocated?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
go buy a giant teddy bear then say that
ive got a giant stuffed puppy dog that she gave me....that certainly doesnt help me
 

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Reciprocation is a pretty important determining factor, but as you've said elsewhere, she's your ex.

Limerance on Wikipedia

In your case, I'd say try and remember all the bad times. The events she took you to when you'd have rather stayed at home. Clothes you didn't like but wore to impress her. Every time you went to her choice of movie instead of yours. Crank up the music that she said sucked but you secretly liked. This is the time to be you, Noznin.

A line of advice I heard in a community I used to associate with; "No matter how hot the girl (or guy) is, there's always someone who is sick and tired of their crap." I suspect you aren't the only one.

One more thing; when she sees what a well-adjusted and happy individual you've become and wants you back, analyze long and hard whether you do so. Then think about it again. Then take your hormones out of the equation and think about it again. I gave up a major goal in my life to re-establish a relationship that probably only lasted 9 months or so after that.

They might be worth it, but probably aren't.
 

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Yes. Find a nice open field, head out with a can of kerosene and enjoy the last 45 seconds of it's existence. Do it before she asks for it back. :crazy:
 

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Any of you guys have any tips on forgetting love? it hurts me too much these days
As an INFP I would suggest to ride the emotions. They are like a roller coaster and can be even more fun and dizzying than the wildest ride. The down emotions can hurt really bad but soon there will be the up emotion and that is the exciting one. Keep feeling the emotion and the good ones will soon be here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
As an INFP I would suggest to ride the emotions. They are like a roller coaster and can be even more fun and dizzying than the wildest ride. The down emotions can hurt really bad but soon there will be the up emotion and that is the exciting one. Keep feeling the emotion and the good ones will soon be here.
heh, the only emotion ive ever been comfortable showing is anger. It makes the death stare work so much better when you know exactly how much strength to use to rip off an ear, crush a skull at the temples and the exact point you can use as a fulcrum to break an arm. Ideally, however, id rather feel nothing at all except the odd bit of bemusement i get from doing the whole master mind puppeteer thing.
 

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heh, the only emotion ive ever been comfortable showing is anger. It makes the death stare work so much better when you know exactly how much strength to use to rip off an ear, crush a skull at the temples and the exact point you can use as a fulcrum to break an arm. Ideally, however, id rather feel nothing at all except the odd bit of bemusement i get from doing the whole master mind puppeteer thing.
I think you guys were meant to feel more than anger. That is the only one you let out to play. But others have a way of sneaking up on you when you are not looking. Emotions are absolutely wonderful if once you learn how to navigate them.
 

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Hello. Firstly, is it love or Limerance? As Introverts we're prone to having these idealised emotions that are often not reciprocated. It doesn't mean they're any less real or valid, just too often one-sided. Establishing just what it is and critically analyzing it (NOT wallowing in it) can be helpful.

Regardless of what it is, understand that you are not alone in going through this personal Hell. Many of us in here have done so too, and repeatedly. Sure, we tell ourselves, we'll never feel this way again, but someone comes along and makes us have a whole new set of gooey feelings. The best thing, as knght990 suggested, would probably be to find something else to love. If you're studying something, focus on that. If you have a hobby or an obsession, burn your energy there. Hugging small furry animals isn't a bad way to go - hug you lab rat today! I'll keep you well-clear of my number-one limerance-killer, because aged single malt isn't for everyone.

Someone with something more helpful.... please?
Nice article on Limerance. It explains a few things.
 
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I think you guys were meant to feel more than anger. That is the only one you let out to play. But others have a way of sneaking up on you when you are not looking. Emotions are absolutely wonderful if once you learn how to navigate them.
Put the crack pipe down now and step away from the Healing Circle.

Seriously, emotions are one of those things that can be a real drain on us. Anger and frustration are some of our most closely-held and frequently-experienced feelings, and all too often when we feel something else, things work their way around to us eventually feeling the same two emotions. What's the point of feeling the joy of romantic feelings towards someone else when they'll just end up telling you that they think you're really nice but would rather just keep you as a friend. We INTJs do a good deal of our deepest exploration internally, and feelings are part of that.

Emotions may be wonderful for you, but for me they're a double-edged sword. Thanks for the insight, but I'll stick with constant low-level anger and drowning the occasional spike of limerance in Oban.

Nice article on Limerance. It explains a few things.
Hey, just re-directing at will here. Happy to help.
 

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Put the crack pipe down now and step away from the Healing Circle.

Seriously, emotions are one of those things that can be a real drain on us. Anger and frustration are some of our most closely-held and frequently-experienced feelings, and all too often when we feel something else, things work their way around to us eventually feeling the same two emotions. What's the point of feeling the joy of romantic feelings towards someone else when they'll just end up telling you that they think you're really nice but would rather just keep you as a friend. We INTJs do a good deal of our deepest exploration internally, and feelings are part of that.

Emotions may be wonderful for you, but for me they're a double-edged sword. Thanks for the insight, but I'll stick with constant low-level anger and drowning the occasional spike of limerance in Oban.



Hey, just re-directing at will here. Happy to help.
I do enjoy learning just how different INFP's and INTJ's are when it comes to emotions. Anger and frustration are a drain on us but the other emotions are uplifting and refreshing. And it is totally opposite for you. Emotions are a drain on you accept the anger which is not always an emotion either.

I wish I could give each of you a small glimpse of the wonderfulness of INFP emotions. They are awesome to experience.
 

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I wish I could give each of you a small glimpse of the wonderfulness of INFP emotions. They are awesome to experience.
At the risk of sounding heartless, I was involved on and off with an INFP for 3 years (the person I referenced above as who I gave up one of my goals for). I think I've seen enough of INFP emotions.

Anger and another Scotch, thanks barkeep.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I do enjoy learning just how different INFP's and INTJ's are when it comes to emotions. Anger and frustration are a drain on us but the other emotions are uplifting and refreshing. And it is totally opposite for you. Emotions are a drain on you accept the anger which is not always an emotion either.

I wish I could give each of you a small glimpse of the wonderfulness of INFP emotions. They are awesome to experience.
you be trollin'? we have the emotions, we've felt the emotions, we just chose to say "thats nice" catalog it and move on. anything else would be a waste of time
 
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