[Elpagnier8]

Help! I am in a relationship with a live in boyfriend for about 2 years now our relationship at first was very sexual and it was nice but every since we moved in together everything has changed we have sex MAYBE once every 4-6 weeks I get very sexually frustrated till the point I have thought about AND still want to cheat. I dont know what to do I have expained how I felt about us having sex more often but he really doesnt care we only have sex when he wants too and when he feels like it. We hardly ever make love which is the only time I feel special unless Im sick then I get a little more attention then but other than that hardly ANY sex NEVER intimacy NO attention unless sick no touching no kissing no gifts no I love yous unless I say it first. And im just dont know what else to do only time we get along is when im quiet dont bother him dont touch him kiss him dont try to have sex and dont talk about our relationship problems and he is very pleased and happy with me so basically if im a "good girl" to him then I get sex one night and then another 4-6 weeks go by I may get it again if i have been good and quiet and not bothering him. He says that I base his love for me expecting gifts but if the only way I receieve love from him is by sex and i only get that 4-6 weeks am I wrong for wanting him to take me out maybe get me something kiss me every once and awhile and say you love me. Am I wrong? If i ever get any sex or intimacy is it wrong to ask for some type of thing to just show me im in your heart or am I asking too much? Sometimes being sick is a good thing because I get just a little more attention than I would healthy is that bad? Im scared to get well at times because I know then its back to no attention at all. The most gifts I get out of him is medicine. And I dont know if my relationship is beyond repair or is there something else I can do. Someone please some advice that has been through this or maybe going through this. THANKS

 

[EbonyTigger]

In all honesty if he's not listening to you when you tell him you need more than what he's getting, you've got to ask yourself if it's the relationship you want. It can't all be one sided, both you and him need to give and take in the relationship. It sounds like you're giving everything and not getting much in return.

 

[StElmosDream]

I have to be honest here, you've just told me 10 reasons why you should move on and find someone who truly loves you! ... your worth so much more than occasional sex and infantising, as if he is somehow superior in his need for 'quiet' (I would be deeply upset if I was deprived of love and affection by choice, more so since my two main love languages are touch and words....)

Honestly it sounds like he is keeping you around for one thing only and using 'love making' as a control tool of dominance and superiority, knowing you won't look further afield for it... let him know you could though and that he has to earn your love not simply be given it!