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I'm in my first year of university, studying psychology. I really want to move out, partially because it'd be beneficial to the time it takes to travel to the university, but mostly because I just feel like I'm ready for it and it's my time to start a life of my own.

To facilitate this I currently work at a fastfood restaurant, which pays minimum wage, and to be honest, the work itself isn't that bad. I'm alright with mindlessly dumping stuff in oil for hours on end as long as it helps me have some sort of income. My coworkers are pretty friendly people as well.

Problem is that I have to work 4-5 days a week to get a decent salary with which I'd be able to pay the rent and such out of this, and my manager is practically forcing me to work especially in evenings and weekends during the busiest hours because I'm a fairly efficient employee.

Because of this job, after going to lectures and study groups, I barely have time left to see my old friends or make new ones from university. (Or time to look for a better job, for that matter.) I usually have 2 free evenings, one of which'll pretty much standardly be spent drinking at a student association and having superficial drunk conversations with a variety of people, maybe having some one-time hookup, and the other spent just being by myself, finally enjoying some alone time, or having carefully planned hang-outs with close friends now and then.

I feel like all this isn't very fulfilling to me at all right now. Is this a common first impression/feeling of college? It feels pretty dull and lonesome. I've only just started university and it all comes across as pretty depressing to me. I really miss the close friendships, the long conversations, the romances... suddenly everything just seems shallow.


Any advice? Will it get better? Or am I just slowly sinking into real life and will I have to accept it and appreciate different things? I can't even remember what it was like being new to high school, but I don't recall feeling this disillusioned.
 

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Auntie Duckie
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I think what you are feeling is natural for your situation. You need time to adjust to your new life and see how everything fits together. Once you get the hang of it you'll see some free time opening up, or you'll be able to re-arrange your time to be more effective.

There is a saying: "You can never go back".

It's hard to move forward with your new life if you keep looking back. There are some things you'll just need to give up for now, and concentrate on the tasks ahead of you.

Buckle down and concentrate on your school. The more you do it, the faster you will get (you WANT to get into an effective routine right now).

Keep working on it. It gets better (but not necessarily "easier").

Your easy days are over. Now it's time for you to learn.


-ZDD
 

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I feel like I can give you honest advice about your situation since I had recently graduated from college and am now looking for work. First of all, I can completely relate with your feelings: "I feel like all this isn't very fulfilling to me at all right now. Is this a common first impression/feeling of college? It feels pretty dull and lonesome." For me, this was a normal occurence. For my brother too, who is in college currently. The idea is to find relationships that you will value as well as that don't deter you from your academics (party, but don't party too hard or too much). Freshman year of college was hard for me because my roommate and I didn't get along, I wasn't interested in partying, and I felt the undergraduate courses weren't intellectually fulfilling. But, by sophomore year, I was much happier! You asked if it gets better, and it does! You said that you the connections, friends, and romances that you had. People say college is a new start, so it is your chance to begin new with new people: make new friends / connections, and new lovers! My freshman year was hard for me because I wa very reserved, shy, and timid as a freshman. One of the great things about college though is that it does transform and grow you! As a BA graduate, it is rewarding looking back and seeing how I have changed. Enjoy the journey!
 

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Hope you don't mind if I continue this thread with my own problems. I recently earned an Associate's Degree and got a full-time job. After working for about 4 months I'm making plans to go back to school next year to get my Bachelor's. In addition, I plan to move out of my parent's house to live on-campus (a decision not especially supported by my parent). I'm currently continuing my job to save money for tuition. Any advice on other goals or skills I should pursue to better prepare myself (especially for applying for scholarships)?
 

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Sunset Stripper
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I suggest you save up for a while then look at your situation & your options and move from there. Hope things get better, just remember things could always be worse & look forward to bettering yourself.
 

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You gotta do what you gotta do to get by. I worked full time and went to school full time through college while going to a commuter college where there weren't dorms. It can get isolating, especially when you don't have much free time. I actually only really had Saturday nights to hang out and I did a decent amount of partying\drinking then. In the whole scheme of things, you aren't missing a ton because the people with too much free time on their hands end up just drinking more often. I guess if you don't want to drink, I'm sure there's other clubs and groups of people who don't drink that hang out when you have free time.
 
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