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Its almost as if there is no choice for me. I have to believe it. Its either that or sadness it seems and a lot of ..... sadness. But the predicament of what can hold the weight of my ideal in the real world or if its something within .... its a problem i think. Not konwing what to do with this ideal and how to harness it in a positive manner.
 

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Hmm I have a set Ideal, by what i can gather I am sure I know what your talking about, you mean far as how you want yourself to be or who you want to be? If that's the case, then I've got that set, and it's fairly simple to do, but if not then I am not sure if I can help unless I get what you mean?
 

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Interesting topic!

Unfortunately I don't have the best handle on what my ideals are specifically. That's frustrating at the very least in learning something new, or observing an action and getting a lil inflamed or applauding that instance. I often feel like a kid at times with the amount of curiosity that pushes me to explore or take action on a reactionary stance. The best I can guess on what my ideals are is that they revolve around tolerance, family/friends/camaraderie, fanaticism/zealots/serious human transgressions, liberty (biggest one I've had trouble with.......do I support equality and under what terms....or do I invite more civil liberty) , and compassion. I can understand the disappointment with the world and how it doesn't live up to expectations. The only route I found so far is to keep slugging away with what I believe in and lead by example. Maybe I'll make a difference in this world, maybe not. Eh, c'est la vie.

Hope you get better at this than what I do. Sincerely.


Addendum: Not sure if you know of Erasmus, but I quite often feel like he did in his time in observing the world at large. :/
 

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I used to be so idealistic it was sickening. One day I woke up from my trance-like state of 'happiness' and reality hit me like a brick wall. A combination of things made me take a hard look at my life and I became really depressed..even contemplating suicide. It's not that I wasn't aware of the horrible things going on in the world, I guess some sort of subconscious defense mechanism made me ignore it all. I'm no longer depressed, but no matter how hard I want to believe that there is good in the world, or even a God, I just can't accept it. There is too much pain and suffering. How could God let so many horrible things happen, yet claim to love us? How can we commit such horrible acts, and then turn around and claim we love our neighbor? I've lost all hope, and sort of turned nihilistic. I have to force myself to not think about life or God, because I start spiraling into depression and feel like everything is meaningless. I feel like everything I wish I could believe in is so at odds with the way reality truly is. I feel like I was born in another universe. I honestly can't understand human nature.
 
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