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I have a isfp son, he has alot of outbursts at school mostly verbal (recently he got mad during school and started pointing at his classmates and saying " die , die , die , die "), sometimes but not often physical (example, he tripped and hit his head on a pole and there was a kid near him and blamed him for it and hit the kid in the head), now they are taking to see a psychiatrist , and he diagnosed him with ODD ( Oppositional defiant disorder ) , i am afraid they are going to medicate him with drugs to fix something i believe is just his personality, which brings me with another question , do you think psychiatrists are being corrupted by money from the medication industry, he also fights alot with his brother who is a ESTJ, just last night during bed time my ISFP son told my ESTJ son to kill himself, my wife (ISFJ) got very upset and started crying because in her past a close friend commited suicide so it was a touchy subject for her, for me a INFJ father i'm confused in which way is the best way to deal with this because i know ISFP don't like being controlled but i feel like i have no choice but to side with my wife and lay down the law when it comes to outburst esp if it is affecting others in such a bad way, any advice would be great.
 

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Oh dear, I want to say something to help you here. I have to say that this is not the norm for ISFP children. No parent wants to have to give their kids meds but it's better then this kind of thing continuing. I realize medication is a touchy subject with many people, but it's true. First, consult another doctor, a second opinion is always good. And don't stop to you get answers. And help. You obviously want the best life possible for him, and to have it, he needs more help.
You do need to lay down the law, but just make sure he knows that you will never stop loving him, and that you'll never give up on him.
I wish you all the best.
 
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I have a isfp son, he has alot of outbursts at school mostly verbal (recently he got mad during school and started pointing at his classmates and saying " die , die , die , die "), sometimes but not often physical (example, he tripped and hit his head on a pole and there was a kid near him and blamed him for it and hit the kid in the head), now they are taking to see a psychiatrist , and he diagnosed him with ODD ( Oppositional defiant disorder ) , i am afraid they are going to medicate him with drugs to fix something i believe is just his personality, which brings me with another question , do you think psychiatrists are being corrupted by money from the medication industry, he also fights alot with his brother who is a ESTJ, just last night during bed time my ISFP son told my ESTJ son to kill himself, my wife (ISFJ) got very upset and started crying because in her past a close friend commited suicide so it was a touchy subject for her, for me a INFJ father i'm confused in which way is the best way to deal with this because i know ISFP don't like being controlled but i feel like i have no choice but to side with my wife and lay down the law when it comes to outburst esp if it is affecting others in such a bad way, any advice would be great.
So, I wasn't always the most pleasant child either. Maybe not to this extreme, but I had my moments. I remember telling my sister once that I hated her. My mom is also very sensitive like your wife, and it really hurt her. She was definitely not a strict parent, but in this case, she put her foot down. We had crossed the line and she let us know. She just explained in simple terms that that was not how we act toward each other, and she let it be. Neither of us ever said it again.

Be firm, direct, and to-the-point. Keep it simple when you tell him what you expect from him. No wishy-washy long-winded stuff. He needs to learn values.

I used to be sensitive when I was teased or laughed at and I'd react aggressively sometimes. Maybe that's what your son is doing. I outgrew this on my own, but not before getting into some confrontations. I once hurt someone physically who I loved a lot. I regretted it immediately, and this was probably my turning point.....I was about 14 years old. Luckily, she forgave me because she is such a loving person. I sympathize with your son and I hope he works through these emotions effectively.

Hopefully, you can get some counseling for him and they won't expect him to be medicated. See a counselor or psychologist. They usually can't prescribe medication, while a psychiatrist can.

I hope this helps.
 

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Thanks, i thought alot about it and we chose to not allow him to go to the extreme measures of venting his anger with the words he was choosing to use, we explained how much it hurt others and he understood also when he does get upset to that point we put him in his room to reflect and calm down. We were thinking of putting him in a school with less student to teacher ratio maybe help him with being drained by all the other children he is forced to interact with, also i heard isfp's loves pets so were planning on moving into a different place so we can have room for a puppy, i know he is a very loving child and he is very creative its just his temper when he is upset that is causing problems maybe if we tried to focus his energy on the good things in life he wont get upset as often.
 

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Have to be able to root out the reason why he has so much anger. It can only be because Fi-doms feel emotions very intensely due to bottling it up as opposed to freely expressing it (like what most Fe-doms do).

A child is unable to control or hold their feelings as well as a matured adult, which is why I can see why it comes out as strong outbursts of violent rage.

Find out what it is that is upsetting him and remedy it. Maybe give him space? Definitely seek professional help but not yet a psychiatrist since I personally do not like it when medications are used to "help" people with "personality disorders"
 

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Have to be able to root out the reason why he has so much anger. It can only be because Fi-doms feel emotions very intensely due to bottling it up as opposed to freely expressing it (like what most Fe-doms do).

A child is unable to control or hold their feelings as well as a matured adult, which is why I can see why it comes out as strong outbursts of violent rage.

Find out what it is that is upsetting him and remedy it. Maybe give him space?
I can be like your child, and have been since I was quite little. I have recently learned that an ISFP, when stressed to the max begins to behave like an ENTJ (evil overlord), which is what it sounds like your son is doing. What puer_aeternus says is very good advice. You really need to find the source of his stress--what is pushing him over the top, and also to find how he needs to de-stress. For punishment, I wouldn't just stick him in a room with no stimulus, though--good, gentle music that he can like would probably go a long way. You might be surprised at how some classical music is very popular with children. My own daughter (a very hyper 8 yr old, and probably an ENFP) loves Vivaldi's Four Seasons, Bach's Brandenburg Concertos, among others. She also has some Bible stories read by David Suchet (the guy who plays Poirot in the BBC series) on her iPod Touch that she will listen to that calms her amazingly. I like your idea of a pet. When I was young, and stressed, just sitting and talking to my dog (or my cat) and petting and hugging her meant a lot to me, and really helped me.

You know, it may be possible that somebody at school is pestering your son, but he may also be very reluctant to talk about it. I had facial scars from an accident when I was in kindergarten, and was frequently made fun of. I _never_ told my parents about it--never. To this day, I'm not sure they know about the torture I suffered at the hands of kids from school. I personally think that public school is the absolute worst environment for a child to grow up in, but I am probably also biased. ;-) But if a child is outside the norm, he will be eaten alive. I would try to talk to him gently to see.

Schools will always try to blame the kid suffering from others, and medicate for the teacher's (and others') sake. Sorry, but I don't buy it. In fact, I just read this on Keirsey's blog: YKAS 5: A Most Valued Customer – Your Child « Your Kids Aren't Sick

I would seriously _not_ trust these people. It's self-fulfilling. Let me put it in other terms (btw, my dad was a public school teacher, and I almost became one, and I have dealt with children and classroom situations myself, so I don't hate teachers and school, just bad ones), you have a teacher who is unable to properly control her classroom. It may not even be her fault, but she can't control the classroom, nor the children. So, what's she to do? She finds the easiest scapegoat, and offers him up. Do your homework, be informed, and don't let them walk over you.

BTW, I'm so glad I grew up before these "disorders" were invented. I would have been drugged and put in a straight jacket, I'm sure. Also, I was blessed to have gone to a small, rural school, where everybody knew everybody.
 
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