[eld]

Ok, I admit I posted this on another forum but I really need some advice on how to deal with a friend of mine.

He's emotionally needy and doesn't seem to want to change. He claims his parents could never show him or give him love; therefore, he latches onto any girl who are willing to listen. I admit, we had a brief love excursion at the beginning of the relationship but that is not the important bit. We have smoothed out our relationship into a friendship. Because he was intimate with me in the beginning, he feels that he can tell me anything.

I'm not a very social person. Long conversations tire me. I like my alone time. However, in the past, I found that I have lost friends because I didn't go out of my way to help them. I don't want to make the same mistake again. He is a good person, but his insecurities are holding him back. I want to help guide him to stand on his own two feet but our conversations tire me very quickly. I can't concentrate on my own life because of them. Do you guys have any advice on how to deal with or help a needy person?

 

[jbking]

When you smoothed out the relationship, did you really identify boundaries in the relationship and both agree to these terms? I'd be tempted to think he may have a different understanding of your relationship as while the romance is out, the intimacy is still there at least on an emotional level. Thus, you have the problem that things may get kind of icky as there is a chance that this may be an attempt on his part to woo you back into a relationship. "See, I need you, please help me by being with me!" kind of thing that I'm guessing though I do wonder how on or off this is.

Could you have conversations via text or e-mail that may not tire you out so much? Another component is to consider what kind of help you trying to provide in contrast to what a therapist or other professional could?

 

[eld]

When you smoothed out the relationship, did you really identify boundaries in the relationship and both agree to these terms? I'd be tempted to think he may have a different understanding of your relationship as while the romance is out, the intimacy is still there at least on an emotional level. Thus, you have the problem that things may get kind of icky as there is a chance that this may be an attempt on his part to woo you back into a relationship. "See, I need you, please help me by being with me!" kind of thing that I'm guessing though I do wonder how on or off this is.

Could you have conversations via text or e-mail that may not tire you out so much? Another component is to consider what kind of help you trying to provide in contrast to what a therapist or other professional could?

Thanks for commenting. Yes, I was very blunt about ending the relationship. He's a smart guy. He may be a little desperate but he isn't shallow.

I have a stupid tendency to text back right away when someone texts me. Guess I should stop that.

He has problems with love. He wants to be loved and believes that if he is loved, then he can do awesome things with his life.

 

[Death Persuades]

Wot? Why are you posting this here again? My advice is the same I gave in the other one...