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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Question for ENTP creatures: when in a social situation, how are your nerves? Not in a nervous 'I'm scared' way, but in the sense of are you relaxed or on edge?

To explain, when I am around people, I'm totally high on adrenaline, so my nerves are on fire and I'm tensed up like I'm ready for action, it's like I am always on stage but instead of acting it is really just me being me in the spotlight, as a result of this I am so wound up I practically vibrate (a friend is convinced she can actually feel my crazy nervy tense vibes just standing near me). I don't see all of this as a bad thing, to me it makes every situation exciting because I'm rather unpredictable.

Is this the standard operating procedure for an ENTP, or is it a background thing? After some very analytical analysis I realise it probably has a lot to do with my upbringing, (nutshell: standard divorce and dysfunctional family crap paired with young ENTP brain = messy self image for a long time) but I'm curious to know if other ENTP's are tightly coiled springs like myself.
 

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A symptom of Ne perception + aspiring (third) Fe, coupled with a bit of natural shyness.

Nervous mainly because you're concerned about how your social performance can change the way others see you, a typical manifestation of the Fe function. But because the third Fe is rather undeveloped, it can give you a mystical feeling, much like the first time you walk into a foreign wonderland, you feel excited because the unknown presents you with endless possibilities and opportunities, and some dangers too. Normally mundane interaction with few opportunities for growth wouldn't make you feel this way, but Fe constantly reminds you keeping a great social image is very important during this period of your life.

When you begin to develop Fe, it's both exciting and rather annoying. Exciting because unconsciously you know your natural awesomeness has the potential to make people like you more with each interaction, annoying because you don't always want to be in a "performance-state" which can be tiring over time. You might even secretly worry you might "under-perform" from time to time.

Adrenaline-fueled socialising is a unique trait of ENTP. You might end up hating it or loving it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Juan M, massive caffeine high, I'm known as the energizer bunny. Well, my hands are generally a little shaky, but I think it is because I am mainlining adrenaline quite often. my job requires a very strict deadline and due to previous training of never eating and always running late as I kept 3 jobs at once, my body over produces adrenaline whenever I know a deadline is approaching. I've wondered if it is anxiety because it seems so extreme and nobody else that I know is like it, but I'm not scared or wary, nor do I have any negative feelings toward a social situation, it feels more like pure excitement?

Ah bluenlgy, that seriously makes a hell of a lot of sense! Thanks :) lately when I'm having a bad day I think to myself how it is such a frustration to always be performing, but then when I think about it a bit more, it is fun. Catch 22, can't live with it, can't live without it.
 

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@Detti, when i'm in a crowd I get really hyper when I'm telling a story of performing. I'm crazy animated. When I'm in a group and I'm actually SUPPOSED to be in the spotlight (like giving a speech, or lecture, or something) I'm usually quite calm ... mellow even.
 

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@Detti, Your problem is one I deal with all the time. When talking or listening to people, I get very excited at the opportunity to entertain, inform, and learn. It took a long time to realize exactly how bad it would get, with the voice getting louder and higher in pitch, and jumping into conversations at less than optimal times. People were generally forgiving about it because they knew I meant well, but the self awareness was a kick in the groin.

My approach is usually to just randomly check myself during conversations. If I feel really wound and excited, then I withdraw a little bit until I get my rhythm back. If it's still hard, I try to imagine a 'personality volume' button that gets turned down. This generally works well with group situations.

You learn to make peace with it as you get older and your Fe develops through trial and (mostly) error, as bluenlgy pointed out. For example, you may notice most of the older (30ish plus) entps here are often pretty laid back. I don't think our energy levels are lower, just that you learn when the occasion requires "performance", and when your normal self is more than adequate.
 

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@Detti, Your problem is one I deal with all the time. When talking or listening to people, I get very excited at the opportunity to entertain, inform, and learn. It took a long time to realize exactly how bad it would get, with the voice getting louder and higher in pitch, and jumping into conversations at less than optimal times. People were generally forgiving about it because they knew I meant well, but the self awareness was a kick in the groin.

My approach is usually to just randomly check myself during conversations. If I feel really wound and excited, then I withdraw a little bit until I get my rhythm back. If it's still hard, I try to imagine a 'personality volume' button that gets turned down. This generally works well with group situations.

You learn to make peace with it as you get older and your Fe develops through trial and (mostly) error, as bluenlgy pointed out. For example, you may notice most of the older (30ish plus) entps here are often pretty laid back. I don't think our energy levels are lower, just that you learn when the occasion requires "performance", and when your normal self is more than adequate.
Awww bell .... so insightful as always. Your totally right.

.... so while your still young, live it the fuck up @Detti. Enjoy the complete freedom and semi-lack of social obligation that comes with youth :)
 

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Juan M, massive caffeine high, I'm known as the energizer bunny. Well, my hands are generally a little shaky, but I think it is because I am mainlining adrenaline quite often. my job requires a very strict deadline and due to previous training of never eating and always running late as I kept 3 jobs at once, my body over produces adrenaline whenever I know a deadline is approaching. I've wondered if it is anxiety because it seems so extreme and nobody else that I know is like it, but I'm not scared or wary, nor do I have any negative feelings toward a social situation, it feels more like pure excitement?

Ah bluenlgy, that seriously makes a hell of a lot of sense! Thanks :) lately when I'm having a bad day I think to myself how it is such a frustration to always be performing, but then when I think about it a bit more, it is fun. Catch 22, can't live with it, can't live without it.
Catch 22 is a pretty smart way to describe it. Where are you currently living? Now I'm pondering the idea that I should stalk you too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Psyphon, when I am on stage in a literal sense I am generally shaking like a leaf, not because I'm scared but because I'm so damn high on adrenaline. and you are right, I am definitely it up, I'd get awfully bored in a lot of situations if i wasn't the way I am, and besides, I like freaking out quiet people and forcing them into conversation. Gotta stop over-thinking everything.

Bellisaurius, I try to keep it fairly internal, like I'm hyper but in control, most people don't realise how tense I am, they don't know me well enough. It is definitely the same story, I think I have been slightly tempered by the fact that I never know if people genuinely like me or not, so I am always testing them out to see how far I can rock the boat without it capsizing, you know? So I don't need that volume control for other people's sake, more for my own sake, because it can be very taxing. I'd like to get to the point where i can just RELAX and turn off the performer for a while. I'm finding moments like this are happening occasionally, in the company of people I trust to know exactly who I am and just accept me for that.

Bluenlgy, I'm in little ol' Australia, on the good ol' planet Earth, and I'd honestly prefer to not be stalked if that is perfectly alright with you?
 

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Bellisaurius, I try to keep it fairly internal, like I'm hyper but in control, most people don't realise how tense I am, they don't know me well enough. It is definitely the same story, I think I have been slightly tempered by the fact that I never know if people genuinely like me or not, so I am always testing them out to see how far I can rock the boat without it capsizing, you know? So I don't need that volume control for other people's sake, more for my own sake, because it can be very taxing. I'd like to get to the point where i can just RELAX and turn off the performer for a while. I'm finding moments like this are happening occasionally, in the company of people I trust to know exactly who I am and just accept me for that.
You might be surprised how much people subconsciously pick up nervousness/anxiousness. As you learn to truly control it, their reactions improve, you feel more comfortable and trusting because of it, and everything becomes easier. But, for us entps I think the playing around with people a bit is necessary to learn all that stuff.

One technique that might help (that I've recommended elsewhere) is to consciously relax some of the muscles in your face or chest (just let them droop) and focus on them. A lot of the time, our external state influences our internal emotional one, and it'll break the feedback from focusing on the excitability. Either that or carry something around with you (a drink, a pen, etc..) so you can channel the nervousness into some kind of movement, or something you can kind of hide behind. A pacifier/shield of sorts. This is what I usually do.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Actually, now that I think about it, you are right: just the other night I was out with a bunch of relatively new friends at a bavarian beer cafe and I'm so tense and I've had a pint of beer so I'm worse than usual as alcohol tends to amplify my hyperactivity, and a very observant ENXJ was just sitting there WATCHING me, SO unnerving, and he says to me 'you never stop moving, do you?'. So I suppose if people pay attention they notice things like my crazy fidgeting, but maybe most people just don't pay attention or don't mention it.. I'm going to work on this, honestly. In the name of science or something. I like the idea of making myself relax as you suggested, maybe that will help me to have a semblance of control over just how wound up I get. If i have a pen, impromptu drum solos happen and testy SJ's in the vicinity will annihilate me :p
 

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Actually, now that I think about it, you are right: just the other night I was out with a bunch of relatively new friends at a bavarian beer cafe and I'm so tense and I've had a pint of beer so I'm worse than usual as alcohol tends to amplify my hyperactivity, and a very observant ENXJ was just sitting there WATCHING me, SO unnerving, and he says to me 'you never stop moving, do you?'. So I suppose if people pay attention they notice things like my crazy fidgeting, but maybe most people just don't pay attention or don't mention it.. I'm going to work on this, honestly. In the name of science or something. I like the idea of making myself relax as you suggested, maybe that will help me to have a semblance of control over just how wound up I get. If i have a pen, impromptu drum solos happen and testy SJ's in the vicinity will annihilate me :p
This is the part I love about this forum. I get to see a lot of the same ideas and stuff that I had at various points in my life. Sometimes in really uncannily similar ways. In this particular case, I used to spend a lot of internal head time thinking about what kind of signals I was giving off and attempting to be a self aware of the causes as I could be because it seemed like I could control my mind enough to figure it out.

However, other people are generally smarter than we think they are because they have thoughts running through their heads too, and while I don't think most aren't explicitly planning the way we do, they are awake and can catch us pretty easily for a while. I think it's a side of effect of the fact we can only register what's going on in our own heads, so it seems we "think" more than others.

Which brings me to one of an entps biggest weaknesses: We love ideas. Particularly our own. It's hard to be really impartial to them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
YES. I always am entertained by the fact that I forget that other people think too! It sounds so stupid to say that, but I am just fascinated by the fact that we all have this internal dialogue but we only are really aware of our own. I honestly wish I could read minds sometimes.
And I agree, I love being able to read other opinions too, it is nice to get a bit more understanding of the way my mind can work, and to see that same interest from others too :)
Yeah, it is such an awesome thing to live in two worlds at the same time, the one in my head and the one all around me. I always joke and say that I'm going to just stop thinking, but honestly I would get so bored I'd drive everyone around me insane.
 

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yes- i am totally the same way. i jump around, wave my hands, start babbling, make crude jokes..... but its usually when i first see people. i put my foot in my mouth A LOT. i get calmer after awhile, ive been told by some people even close friends that i am way to energetic, and happy all the time, like nothing ever bothers me. its not that- i just like people to see me as a happy/fun person and i never ever want to be a downer, you know? its not that i dont have shit to deal with, i just think, why bother with the negative stuff when theres so much fun to be had? anyways, yes im a bumbling mess sometimes, but either after ive known you awhile, or whatever, i calm down. im still crazy and unpredictable, but at least at a more manageable level =P
 
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